funny things ur parents do (2 Viewers)

[philphie]

When I enter the room dad changes it from Bikini TV to the soccer. Sometimes he cbs changing so he just keeps watching.

He earns my full respect for his voyeur ways.


He also likes to formulate seemingly profound statements. But mostly they're just a bunch hollow crap.

apple doesn't fall too far from the tree it seems.

 

[philphie]

Why has no one mentioned that this is a fucked up story?

because no one is fucked up enough to believe it

 

[alex09hsc]

i believed it

 

[Phoenix Fury]

I have little doubt that it is indeed, true.

 

[vannilla_latte]

oh another thing my dad does that makes me and my mum frown.

he makes an "entrance" when he comes home from work.

he drives down the driveway of our home with Lou Bega "mumbo number 5" blasting from the car.

honestly we can here him coming from around the corner!


and i used to hate it wen he picked me up from school, at the FRONT gate (where everyone is) and blasts his music up loud... im just like *hides face* ... i dont know you...

or even wen me and him are just driving somewhere, he'll just blast the music and mock me opening and closing his mouth lip talking "what? cant u hear anything? are you going deaf? i cant hear you" and then just laughs at me when i frown.

 

[philphie]

if i'm in the car with my dad ahe is on the phone talking business he will forget about driving and i would have to steer for him

 

[philphie]

Haha. I have a plethora of things from my Mum. She says inappropriate things like "if you rub chili on your virgina it will burn." Or [about the mudcrab she brought home to cook still live- to my brother] "becareful or it will chop off your dick." Or about leaches "Becareful they will crawl into your virgina" same goes with cockroaches with the added on "and lay eggs. You will die."
Or telling me her pee hole is bigger than mine. How the fuck with you know?

All I can say is shes from a third world country.

fucking lol

 

[JonathanM]

Whenever I go out to a resteraunt with my dad (quite regularly), the second we sit down he begins a running criticism on everyone else in the restaurant, going to each person individually. Is very funny.

My mom is incredibly nosey and always tries to be very subtle and nonchalant, but fails miserably, which is also funny to watch,

 

[hollyy.]

every time there is a rape case on the news/movies etc, my mum yells "CHOP IT OFF" at the screen. and you can hold a conversation with her while shes fast asleep.

 

[philphie]

my mother does this funny thing where she thinks she has been possessed

 

[philphie]

she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, arms apread out, eyes rolled back, mouth open, couple of seconds back to normal. she says when this happens her blood rushes like crazy and she has crazy nightmares, i just tell her to go get a general checkup to see if she has some kind of parasite

 

[philphie]

i have seen a lot of scary supernatural shit in my life but i still remain a skeptic

 

[Aerath]

that is the customary way to wake up. how do you wake up?

Normally, with an alarm clock (or even sometimes, just a body clock).

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

Whenever I go out to a resteraunt with my dad (quite regularly), the second we sit down he begins a running criticism on everyone else in the restaurant, going to each person individually. Is very funny.

My mom is incredibly nosey and always tries to be very subtle and nonchalant, but fails miserably, which is also funny to watch,

haha my dad does that too. I was on the train with him one day and he was blatantly judging the dress sense and general demeanor of every passenger around us. And he's slightly hard of hearing so he was speaking quite loudly and I'm like shutupshutuphutup :/ :/ but he didn't take the hint

 

[Crestwood's_G]

when i was younger my dad used to run up and shake his bear arse and than run away haha

 

[CecilyMare]

my mother likes grabbing my shoulders and squeezing them. It hurts like hell, mind you

 

[ilikebeeef]

when i was younger my dad used to run up and shake his bear arse and than run away haha

LOL

my mother likes grabbing my shoulders and squeezing them. It hurts like hell, mind you

That's like my dad. :\

Anyways. My mum:

*is fully screaming at me and bro, getting really pissed off*
Phone rings. She picks up and answers in her sweetest voice "hello? :3"

 

[vannilla_latte]

my dad made a very LAME and OFFENSIVE joke to me today....

i was making myself lunch. and an ad for 'e-harmony' (tht dating site) came on. and my dad goes

"oh beth's got a profile on e-harmony! and her stats say she likes to sleep for 12 hours and sit around and do nothing. and her perfect match was a cat"



what he means is that i should get a bf and not be so lonely...

thanks dad.

2 years ago he goes up to me "you know you can have a boyfriend". really dad? i ddnt know i had to get approval or are you dropping a hint that uv never heard me say ive had a bf

 

[Ms. BRIGHTSIDE]

LOL



That's like my dad. :\

Anyways. My mum:

*is fully screaming at me and bro, getting really pissed off*
Phone rings. She picks up and answers in her sweetest voice "hello? :3"

This is how my mum answers the phone if she doesn't know who is calling.
Then she realises it's family and her voice changes.

 

[Omie Jay]

my parents ask for my help but then dont let me do things my way or dont listen to me when i try to teach them sometihng.

fucking hate it.