Given an ultimatum that could change my future entirely...help? (1 Viewer)

[Aliyas]

Long story short, my boyfriend (whom I love very much) broke up with me a few days ago due to the distance between us. We are four hours apart and he feels that the distance is just getting too hard to cope with. We have been together for two years, and until 5 months ago we lived about 20 minutes from each other.

Anyway, he gave me an ultimatum: either go to Canberra for uni when I graduate (which is where he attends uni) and we can get back together. OR I go to uni of my choice, but if it's not in Canberra, we won't be able to be together again.

I really need advice, I don't know what to do. I truly want to be with him, but I don't really like Canberra and I don't want to jeopardise my future. Halp?

 

[Shadowdude]

Sounds like blackmail to me...

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

Basically, don't jeopardize your future and ultimately; happiness for him.

If you accept his ultimatum and hate it in Canberra and regret not going to the university of your choice, you'll end up resenting him anyway - that's not a healthy thing.

You need to look out for yourself, your future and your well being. In the short term, being without him will be hard but it is only grief for the end of the relationship. Grief passes.

 

[Aliyas]

I know that I should go to the university of my choice...but it's just so difficult because my emotions are clouding my decision. I would give anything to be with this guy, but the main thing I'm concerned about is if I go to Canberra and he breaks up with me again later down the track, then there's no point in me even being there any more.
But if it worked out, great, it would all be worth it.

It's times like these I wish I had a crystal ball >_>

 

[ClockworkSoldier]

Well, it sounds like you know the options and the possible outcomes attached to them. All you can do is make a decision.

This may sound harsh, but he doesn't sound all that devoted to you if he's provided this ultimatum...

 

[Ivorytw]

If he were that important to you this wouldn't even be an issue.

Go to your university of choice.

 

[iRuler]

Go to the university of your choice. Your future is very important and you have a long life ahead to think about.

Your boyfriend, whether you love him or not, you guys are both too young and there's no guarantee that you'll last together forever.

And he could've made long distance work if he really loved you too, not much of an excuse.

 

[herbs1]

Every decision has a consequence. Make the decision, accept the consequences and live on.

Do whatever.

Don't entrust life decisions to student forums.

 

[Aliyas]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

Every decision has a consequence. Make the decision, accept the consequences and live on.

Do whatever.

Don't entrust life decisions to student forums.

Haha, I was just looking for advice from people who were unbiased.

 

[Annihilist]

It's times like these I wish I had a crystal ball >_>

I've got one of those. They aren't very useful.

I was 2-3 days away from my girlfriend for nearly a year. I broke up with her afterwards, but I might move to Melbourne and she lives nearby so it could work.

But you need to consider what you want. Don't get so attached to one person and make your decision based around that person. Sometimes shit gets in the way and there's no fixing it.

 

[muhahahahahaha]

Don't move to Canberra because of him. And in all honesty, if he really loved you then he wouldn't make you choose between himself and your future. It's a bit selfish...that ultimatum of his.

There is no way of telling whether you guys are going to work out and stay together 4ever. Focus on yourself and your future. If he loves you, he'll come back.

 

[LadyLaLa]

Seriously, if he really loves you then I really don't think he'll let distance get in the way. Like you said how would you know he wouldn't break up with you again? Yea sure if you move there with him it may work out but remember he didn't consider your thoughts and feelings on this matter and made an "ultimatum" so what makes you think he will when other obstacles arise? Your feelings are involved and the fact that you've been with him for 2 years would make it hard to decide but I have a very simplistic method... I remember a lady once told me "If it takes you more than a few seconds to decide, it's probably a bad idea." Therefore the fact that his "Ultimatum" has made you feel uneasy tells you what you don't want, that is, to move to Canberra! Well anyways from my thoughts... I really think you should let him go. He's not worth it unless you BOTH sort out this matter. Not a one sided decision. Don't let him decide your future. Hope my perspective helps Good Luck

 

[kaz1]

he wants you to go to canberra so he can bang you more frequently

find a nice sydney chap and make him jelly

 

[pony_magician]

Agree with Ebony. You've basically already made a decision,

 

[Aliyas]

Thanks for the advice. It really helped. I think I will go to a uni of my choice. I've been working towards going to uni for years, and I don't want to possibly ruin that just because of a guy.

 

[Spiritual Being]

Look how easily he broke up with you... What will stop him from doing that again?

Regardless of how much he loves you, nothing is stopping him from breaking up with you for some other reason if you end up going to Cannebra so you've caused double the trouble for yourself.

 

[Aliyas]

Look how easily he broke up with you... What will stop him from doing that again?

Regardless of how much he loves you, nothing is stopping him from breaking up with you for some other reason if you end up going to Cannebra so you've caused double the trouble for yourself.

Yeah, that was my main concern...I may end up having to go to Canberra for uni anyway if that's the only place that accepts me, but I don't think I'll make it my first preference.

 

[Gangstar1]

Long story short, my boyfriend (whom I love very much) broke up with me a few days ago due to the distance between us. We are four hours apart and he feels that the distance is just getting too hard to cope with. We have been together for two years, and until 5 months ago we lived about 20 minutes from each other.

Anyway, he gave me an ultimatum: either go to Canberra for uni when I graduate (which is where he attends uni) and we can get back together. OR I go to uni of my choice, but if it's not in Canberra, we won't be able to be together again.

I really need advice, I don't know what to do. I truly want to be with him, but I don't really like Canberra and I don't want to jeopardise my future. Halp?

Look at the big picture he broke with you why would you travel back to Canberra for a relationship that doesn't already work , you already said you want to go to your uni im sure uni is filled with people lol

 

[Lentern]

Love requires sacrifice I say follow your heart, go to Canberra. Just an image him proposing to you on a sunny autumn afternoon on the banks of lake Burley Griffin, the sun catching the water rippled by a gentle breeze. This is what you'll be throwing away if you don't go.

 

[halapenyo]

Love requires sacrifice I say follow your heart, go to Canberra. Just an image him proposing to you on a sunny autumn afternoon on the banks of lake Burley Griffin, the sun catching the water rippled by a gentle breeze. This is what you'll be throwing away if you don't go.

notsureifsrs