Growing out of it? (1 Viewer)

[emzz]

I've been with my bf for ages. When we first went out everything was really good. But then, I now feel like we've reached different maturity levels and he's on a different level to me now. I don't know what to do because I love him and all, but it feels like there is something missing and in some ways I don't find my relationship as fulfilling as before. I don't think it has to do with the honeymoon phase wearing off - becuz that was ages ago - before I felt like this.

not sure what to do...

 

[Sweety pie12]

everyone grows out of things especially seeing as though youre doing hsc this year maybe youre just a bit preoccupied & youre not caring as much
what do you mean different levels of maturity?
are you comfortable enough to talk to him

 

[emzz]

We can talk heaps but i find myself wanting to talk less nowadays - because there's not alot to talk about, even though we're both doing the hsc and have that in common.

He gets annoyed at me easily if i get upset. I guess we're both changing.

 

[Riet]

Sleep with his best friend.

 

[Sweety pie12]

yeah maybe its time to move on?
especially if you think you might not love him anymore
people change its a sad reality of life

 

[emzz]

But then there's that question "what if?" because I know there'd be no turning back.

I don't think he feels this way though. I think he's pretty happy with our relationship - but I'm not.

It's hard to move on.

 

[Sweety pie12]

well you have the optiion of giving it time seeing if maybe this is just a passing phase or what not you know maybe thats what it is a phase that you will grow out of soon
or it will just get worse
but i guess it would be kinda daunting to just say good bye to something thats been a large part of your life
maybe you should try & discuss feelings even if he doesnt like it because you'll find that you probably have stuff you want to say you just cant think about it or word it but once you get started you should feel pretty good & relieved even

 

[emzz]

I suppose I could give it time, but when is the right time to end it?! It's a question I can't seem to answer and one that I keep pondering.

 

[Sweety pie12]

unfortunately no-one can tell you when the right time is its up to you
you know you could just be running for the hills cause your scared & because your scared you all off a sudden find yourself picking away at your relationship
but yeah this is only a maybe

 

[Malazn Pleasure]

I think it is time to move on. Once your interest levels start to go down its not possible to raise it back up again. You do not want to be worrying about your relationship during your hsc, thats the last thing you need.

I had a similar situation as you, so its very common. People just grow apart especially after a long time, eventhough they still love eachother.

I know you still love him, but you are not "In Love" with him.

As hard as it is, its better for you to end it sooner than later.

 

[Claire102]

I also had a similar situation to this in May. I still loved him , probably still do, but we kinda grew apart.. I got really worried about things, and because I had the stress of the HSC I got really frustrated at things he said or did. He also dropped out at year 10 though, so he didnt completely understand. I understand the concept of still loving, but not being "In Love". I am with this other great guy now anyway, and he understands it, its also good to start fresh when you are in HSC mode, especially, well, I found that I still needed somone there for the stress levels, to vent and to just have some relax time in between studies. I recommend talking to him about it, seeing how he feels, and maybe then coming to a truse about breaking it off while it is intense mode at school and then seeing how you two are together after that, or just letting it go. It is also good to just be friends too without all the hangups. They tend to weigh you down a bit and make you feel like you need to see each other all the time to keep the relationship going. Talk to him

 

[umop 3pisdn]

emzz you need a more mature boyfriend

you should hook up with bendeguz

 

[Legham]

emzz you need a more mature boyfriend

you should hook up with bendeguz

Possibly THE worst advice i've ever heard

 

[emzz]

Lol! funny you guys!


but yeh... *sigh* It's sort of emotionally draining too cuz i think about it heaps.

But then theres trials and hsc soon. So it's not really a good time to do anything drastic.

 

[hiphophooray123]

smile because it happened.

even the best teen relationships probably won't last till marriage.

don't stress about it.

just remain friends.

 

[s2caz]

smile because it happened.
even the best teen relationships probably won't last till marriage.
don't stress about it.
just remain friends.

thats so true. but you know what?? there are some relationships that do last.
and they ALL have ups and downs.
what i think is that you should talk to your bf..
i mean like~~ me and my boyfriend see each other once a week..
not even.. we talk on the phone 3 times a week? maybe..??
and thats like.. only for an hour max~~
lack of communication i know.. but i still love him~~
we've both got our hsc on so yeah~~ its understandable..
i do love my bf too.. but im also the type who doesnt like to be too attached.
i love to talk to him.. when im in the mood~~ but when im not.. he gets annoyed~~ you sound like me..
PM me if you wanna talk more.. i cant write everything here..;;
btw.. how long is ages..??

 

[Member232135]

Just do yourself a favour and if u break up and asks u why, dont lie to him.

 

[Legham]

The sooner you end it the sooner you'll be over it and be able to move on.. and it'll be easier now then later cause he'll be less attached probably.

 

[Tulipa]

Have you even talked to him about this?

It's all well and good to think about it yourself but what does he want? Perhaps you just need to reevaluate your relationship together and see what you want, you might both end up realising that you want it to work and try to keep it all together.

But yeah... talk to the guy.

 

[Malazn Pleasure]

The longer you hold it off, the more resentment will be built and the harsher you will be when you break up with him.

Don't delay the inevitable.

Everyone has been saying to talk to him, but I seriously don't think that will help. His feelings does not matter in this, only yours. I can see that your interest levels are going down...below 50%. I don't think just 'talking' to him about it will put it back up above 50%. Once you are below 50%, its over...

this is what will happen when you talk to him...

"Hey I think we need to talk, I have been feeling this lately blah blah blah"
"OK I will try harder, we will make it work blah blah blah"

A few weeks goes by, break up again......