• Congratulations to the Class of 2024 on your results!
    Let us know how you went here
    Got a question about your uni preferences? Ask us here

help me out here (1 Viewer)

brades

New Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
13
Gender
Male
HSC
2009
can someone tell me what i can do to make this speech better or your opinions if its good enough etc etc.. havent done a conclusion yet bit stumped on that..

Belonging represents the need for individuals to find their identity and place within a society. This results in the growth of individuals and their understanding of the world around them. Through reading the novels, "Romulus, My Father" and "Looking for Alibrandi", we are helped to get a better understanding of the concept of belonging, belonging to a country, belonging to family, and belonging to a racial group. As well as the struggles of not belonging and being an outcast because of race.

"Romulus, My Father", written by Raimond Gaita, is a true story about Raimonds father, Romulus. Gaita explores the concepts of belonging to a family, belonging to the Australian landscape, and not being accepted because of the fact that Romulus was an immigrant. We belong when we feel connected to others and the world. Romulus found it hard to fit in when he arrived to Australia. This is understandable as immagration invariably involves detachment, loneliness and isolation. His first two years in Australia saw him working for the government, isolated from his family. Romulus did not physically belong to the community due to his appearance, "everybody noticed his eyes, almond-shaped, hazel and intense." Colour imagery is used here to contrast the lighter colours of the stereotypical Australian. Romulus was embaressed about his dark complexion, "he called himself gipsy and later in Australia, an Aborigine". We see here that Romulus changes his story, in a plea to belong to a community or environment. Romulus doesn't dwell over the isolation he feels, instead he has "come to accept what fate dealt him". He feels he is not owed anything better then what he currently has. As time progresses and members of the community realise the blacksmithing and handyman skills he has, he earns respect. It was because Romulus treated everyone with great respect that he was eventually accepted and finally felt a sense of belonging.

Similarly, in "Looking for Alibrandi", written by Melina Marchetta, we see the pain of a 17 year old girl, Josephine, as she is stuck in between two worlds. She earnt a scholarship at an upper class private school where everyone is judged by how rich their families are. Josie is embaressed of her Italian background, she has been bullied through school and steers away from her Italian traditions. Josie endures pain over her background, and thinks no matter how smart she is, she's "always going to be the little ethnic girl from Glebe as far as these people are concerned". She feels that she doesn't belong within society and The use of the words "these people" highlight the cultural divide and differences between the white anglo-saxon community and the Italian community. When Josie calls upon her father for legal help after assaulting Carly Bishop, her father asked her the reason why she hit Caly with a book, "she called me a wog, amongst other things", her father then went on to say "You are a wog Josie, does it offend you to be one?". From this point forward, Josie was forced to reconsider her perspective on being Italian. Eventually, a pride in her Italian heritage emerges, although she is selective and doesn't want to be a "long suffering Italian woman" as earlier generations of women had. However, she didn;t want to be a "rebel" Italian because she hates the thought of being outcasted by her Italian community, she wants to belong.

A sense of belonging can be created with an environment. In Romulus, My Father, we feel Romulus's pain has he longs for the "generous and soft Eurpoean foliage". Although the Australian landscape is beautiful, he has no connection or sense of belonging to the environment as he is used to the lush and green bush of Europe. Words with negative connotations such as "scraggy" and "desolate" are used to describe the harsh Australian environment and to highlight the fact that Romulus feels no sense of belonging with it. In contrast to this, we see how Raimond finally appreciates the rare beauty of the Australian environment. He now realises that how beautiful it is and feels a connection to it, he has finally stopped looking through his fathers European eyes, "the scraggy shapes and sparse foliage actually became the foci for my sense of its beauty and everything else fell into place".

In both texts we see the concepts of belonging to a family or close friends. In Romulus, we see the strong bond not only between Romulus and Raimond, but also Hora. The strong bond between father and son is symbolised solely by the memoir, the fact that Raimond wrote the novel about his father emphasies the strong bond they had. Romulus' motorbikes were used as a symbol to show the sense of belonging they feel amongst each other, "i was nervous when i rode with Mitru and entreated him to slow down on the gravel roads. When i rode with my father, no matter how fast he drove, i always urged him to go faster". Romulus' and Hora's relationship has stemmed from a cultural bond to a strong friendship based on respect and trust. They became close because of the similar cultures, and they were both aliens in a foreign country. Hora's friendship rubs off onto Raimond, who he has great affection for. This is shown by Hora making sure Raimond had an orange for school every day. The fact that Hora would do anything for Raimond is a reflection of the deep sense of belonging that Hora feels towards Romulus.

Similarly, in "Looking for Alibrandi", we see the strong bond between Josie, and her mother Christina. Although they fight at times because of their fiery personalities, the bond will always be strong because of the hard times they have been through together. As Josie matures on her road to an inner sense of belonging, she becomes close to her grandmother. This is partly because of the fact she has accepted her Italian background, which means she can now tolerate her Nonna more. At the agof 17, she also meets her father for the first time. Initially, she resents him. But after spending time with him she realises how alike they are and they form a tight bond, therefore belonging with each other.

thanks
 

helenawest

New Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2008
Messages
6
Gender
Female
HSC
2009
Hi, read over it quickly n it seems pretty good. The only thing i could point out would maybe to expand your thesis a little but apart from that, it's good...maybe how the texts have broadened your understanding. not sure if u had that
 

youngminii

Banned
Joined
Feb 13, 2008
Messages
2,083
Gender
Male
HSC
2009
Your intro/thesis: too broad. Narrow it down a bit instead of saying 'through these texts we can see that this happens'. Introduce a unique concept, doesn't have to be right or wrong.

Your linking between the second paragraph and third paragraph is poor. Try to come up with a nice link. I like the fact that you're constantly trying to relate each point back to your thesis, but again, your thesis is too broad. Also, try to relate your points more/better.

Use a bit of analysis in writing technique, however simple. Just saying it a bit will let your teachers think that you've analysed the text in detail. Everything was fine. You balanced both texts pretty well.
 
Last edited:

dragonwren

New Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2008
Messages
5
Gender
Male
HSC
2009
youngminii said:
Your conclusion was kinda weak, needs some work. But other than that, everything was fine. You balanced both texts pretty well.
she hasnt got a conclusion yet i think

brades said:
"havent done a conclusion yet bit stumped on that."
And yea your speech was pretty good but you just kept leading back to stating "felt a sense of belong/wants to belong" or the like. Apparently were supposed to identify what the effects of belonging are and why they want to belong.

though i may be wrong coz i dunno wat your speech question is. =]
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top