Help needed with a girl (1 Viewer)

[withoutaface]

Tell her in the form of a song.

 

[Serius]

seen as you are going to tell her anyway, be prepared for the very real possibility that she will kick your ass into the void and you wont have any contact with her for awhile. After that the friendship might resume, but it wont ever be the same and you wont ever be as close.

 

[nic32421]

maybe shes with that guy because she thinks she can never have you.
maybe shes with him to make you jealous, which you are .
maybe she actually likes him. dont make a fool of yourself.
when they break up, make a move at a party then if u get barred, tell her you were drunk.

 

[cl3nta]

maybe shes with that guy because she thinks she can never have you.
maybe shes with him to make you jealous, which you are .
maybe she actually likes him. dont make a fool of yourself.
when they break up, make a move at a party then if u get barred, tell her you were drunk.

wow nice advice from a chick. If you think you're better than the guy she's with atm, I don't see any problems going in for the pickup now.

 

[anonuser]

I haven't actually met the boyfriend before, so I can't make a judgement on that. Whenever I'm around her I always get that fuzzy feeling inside, so I'm certain it's love.

 

[munchybuddy]

I haven't actually met the boyfriend before, so I can't make a judgement on that. Whenever I'm around her I always get that fuzzy feeling inside, so I'm certain it's love.

I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TIME.

SUSS OUT WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS HAPPY WITH HER BOYFRIEND. IF SHE IS THEN I WOULDN'T TELL HER, OTHERWISE IT MIGHT JUST FREAK HER OUT.

 

[Gilbert1]

Don't do it. Just don't do it.

Look coming from someone who was in the same position it won't end well. They go "umm ok" get all awkward and then BAMM! your friendship is gone. Don't do it.



DON'T DO IT!!!

 

[cuppas]

I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TIME.

SUSS OUT WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS HAPPY WITH HER BOYFRIEND. IF SHE IS THEN I WOULDN'T TELL HER, OTHERWISE IT MIGHT JUST FREAK HER OUT.

caps lock is cruise control for cool.

but yeah, looks like youre stuck as a platonic friend of some sort
as chris rock would say, a dick in a glass case
'cos you never know.

PS totally buy her something for easter.

 

[tallkid34]

I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE IT TIME.

SUSS OUT WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS HAPPY WITH HER BOYFRIEND. IF SHE IS THEN I WOULDN'T TELL HER, OTHERWISE IT MIGHT JUST FREAK HER OUT.

This is the 'best' thing you can do at the moment.

Bide your time and hope circumstances change in your favour later on. This may NEVER happen though but hopefully in the future, you'll have met someone new or have found something else worthwhile.

 

[illmatic]

if you're really good friends then your friendship should be strong enough to get through this. by admitting your feelings it's not gonna be a hollywood ending where she looks up @ you and says "ohh ive been waiting for this for so long". so i think the only point of you admitting your feelings would be to help you get over her. like some closure.

so yeh, by all means tell her if you think your friendship is strong enough to move from this. bitu dont do it in a freaky way. just say youve developed feelings for her and tell her why youre admitting all this. anywho, whatever you do, best of luck. just dont have high hopes. she's with this guy for a reason - i.e. she likes him and has feelings for him. it's not all gonna change just by you admitting how you feel.

 

[scaredofthedark]

Don't do it.

It's easier said then done...

I've had it happen to me a couple of times and there is no turning back from that statement, you either go out or it's bye bye time as friends, there is no middle ground it will become uncomfortable, weird etc for her and you will feel it too.

1. Don't tell her at this "event" if you tell her at all make it low key and don't spoil a special night for her

2. If her and her bf are serious consider the timing of telling her, will she tell him, will you have a newly acquired black eye as a result?

3. Give yourself some space try and pursue another girl, or wait until you are both single.

Just my advice.

 

[anonuser]

Wow, so many replies and so much helpful information. I think I've decided I'm going to tell her at the event in ~ 3 weeks.

 

[The_highwayman]

it seems to me that you have placed this girl on such an impossibly high pedastal. consequently, it seems as if you basically expect her to drop everything else and then run off into the sunset with you.

Based on logic, this will not happen.

I fear that your quite obvious...'obsession' with this girl will only lead to disappointment. I base this on two scenarios:
1. In the current circumstances, it is highly unlikely that telling her how you feel will change any part of your relationship for the better. It is more likely that she will slowly begin to extract herself from your life because of the awkward position you will place her. It is easier to avoid the 'problem' than to face it, especially when she may not be able to see any benefit in facing it.
2. In the very unlikely event that she does leave her boyfriend and join you, then your perception of her 'near perfection' will slowly begin to unravel and you will begin to see her flaws. I worry that you have not fallen in love with this girl but in lust with the ideal of perfection and a personal utopia which is unattainable due to the fact that nothing and nobody is perfect. It would be like buying a what you percieve to be the world's most beautiful portrait and then realising that the face isnt quiet symmetrical, the colours aren't quite as vivid as they were in the brochure and it has a pungent odour. You're bound to be dissapointed.

The cliche "love is blind" seems appropriate here, along with "love is ignorant, illogical, creepy and deaf".

You have clearly made this thread in the hope that will will tell you what you want to hear, but in all likelyhood and honesty, you would be better off settling for the friendship and either waiting it out or letting go altogether.

I was once in a similar situation as you are in but i didnt tell the girl. (though, not for a lack of not wanting to, rather, i lacked the confidence). However, i am very glad i didnt follow through on my initial desires because, after time, i took off the rose-coloured glasses and realised she was a bit of a tramp.
My situation however lacked the factor of a 'pre-existing boyfriend'. I can only imagine the chaos that can cause if you decide to tell her.


Don't do it.

 

[Forbidden.]

tell her when her and her bf split...
then she'll def go wit u... trust me

That is quite douche of you. So you want the bloke to hold it in for an unknown period of time...just waiting till they break up? After which he'd have to wait some more time.

YOU HAVE TO GET OVER IT.

(y)

I had to agree on that. I have to act fast without Telfast

 

[Serius]

it seems to me that you have placed this girl on such an impossibly high pedastal. consequently, it seems as if you basically expect her to drop everything else and then run off into the sunset with you.

Based on logic, this will not happen.

I fear that your quite obvious...'obsession' with this girl will only lead to disappointment. I base this on two scenarios:
1. In the current circumstances, it is highly unlikely that telling her how you feel will change any part of your relationship for the better. It is more likely that she will slowly begin to extract herself from your life because of the awkward position you will place her. It is easier to avoid the 'problem' than to face it, especially when she may not be able to see any benefit in facing it.
2. In the very unlikely event that she does leave her boyfriend and join you, then your perception of her 'near perfection' will slowly begin to unravel and you will begin to see her flaws. I worry that you have not fallen in love with this girl but in lust with the ideal of perfection and a personal utopia which is unattainable due to the fact that nothing and nobody is perfect. It would be like buying a what you percieve to be the world's most beautiful portrait and then realising that the face isnt quiet symmetrical, the colours aren't quite as vivid as they were in the brochure and it has a pungent odour. You're bound to be dissapointed.

The cliche "love is blind" seems appropriate here, along with "love is ignorant, illogical, creepy and deaf".

You have clearly made this thread in the hope that will will tell you what you want to hear, but in all likelyhood and honesty, you would be better off settling for the friendship and either waiting it out or letting go altogether.

I was once in a similar situation as you are in but i didnt tell the girl. (though, not for a lack of not wanting to, rather, i lacked the confidence). However, i am very glad i didnt follow through on my initial desires because, after time, i took off the rose-coloured glasses and realised she was a bit of a tramp.
My situation however lacked the factor of a 'pre-existing boyfriend'. I can only imagine the chaos that can cause if you decide to tell her.


Don't do it.

Yeah ive been in a similiar situation before aswell [ most of us probably have]

it NEVER works. The only way it will ever even come close to working is if you tone down your friendship and over a few months let it disapear entirely. Then 10 years from now you when you run into her randomly, go for coffee, start talking etc and you might have a shot.

If you make a move now it will blow up in your face, the friendship will basically end and she will think you are some creep, or it will continue slowly but never as good as it was until its basically a waste of time.

If you think you need help getting over her, then tell her how you feel. Getting kicked to the curb will hurt for a bit, but it should allow you to move on.

Just advice for any other males in a similiar situation: good relationships dont work out from friendships like this. Ever. When a good match girl for you shows up one day you wont be able to intelectualise it, it wont be something from your heart either but it will be a certain chemistry you will feel.

Girls you are friends with are FRIENDS ONLY.

 

[bng]

See how big her bf is and if you can take him, do it, if u think you'd get smashd, dnt do it

 

[wagga]

Don't do it. Just don't do it.

Look coming from someone who was in the same position it won't end well. They go "umm ok" get all awkward and then BAMM! your friendship is gone. Don't do it.



DON'T DO IT!!!

QFT...listen to this man, he did it, and lost it. Please, I am begging you, don't do it. There is a 0.0000001% chance it will end well, and consequently a 99.999999% chance it will end in tears. It won't work. Just savour what you have with her atm, and if she breaks up with her bf, go then. Until then, just don't. Period.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

QFT...listen to this man, he did it, and lost it. Please, I am begging you, don't do it. There is a 0.0000001% chance it will end well, and consequently a 99.999999% chance it will end in tears. It won't work. Just savour what you have with her atm, and if she breaks up with her bf, go then. Until then, just don't. Period.

On this note, while an explicit move should not be made while she's dating her boyfriend it's worthwhile letting her know you're somewhat interested in her... Just please don't do this through soppy melodramatic crap or she'll think you're a) desperate or b) a fag. I imagine that knowing such would make any consideration she has of dumping her current boyfriend weigh more heavily on her, as she'd have an inkling you'll be there.

That's my guess.

 

[withoutaface]

Wow, so many replies and so much helpful information. I think I've decided I'm going to tell her at the event in ~ 3 weeks.

You better be bringing a guitar >:/

 

[Kwayera]

I did what you want to do.

Suffice it to say that it was a failed humiliation.


Sometimes the hardest thing is to know what you want, more than anything, and then know that you can't have it.