Help Please =] (1 Viewer)

[mish1234]

Okay theres this guy that i like. Were in the same grade and have classes together, weve gone out once where he told me that he wants to be friends with benefits.

Is there a chance it could become more?

Also have you been in this situation and have people found out or been suspicious about the two of you?

thanks =]

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

uhm, in short?
no.
he wants a fwb, not a girlfriend. hell see you for sex and on a social level, and thats just how itll be.

people have always known about my fwbs. i hardly made it secret because well. why the hell should you bother with that shit?

 

[sarahdee]

err, there's no easy way to say this but he's using you. no it won't turn into something more. he just wants sex, not commitment. yeah he may brag about it to his friends. i'd be careful. like guys think its pretty impressive to be like "yeah i'm just fucking her, no strings attatched". he'll think he owns you.

 

[samthebear]

i doubt it'll become anything more. If a guy says something, you should really take it for what it is. If you dont think you want to be just friends with benefits i suggest you get out of it and find someone who'll really be worth your time. Who'll actually treat you as his girlfriend and as such respect you as well.

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

i doubt it'll become anything more. If a guy says something, you should really take it for what it is. If you dont think you want to be just friends with benefits i suggest you get out of it and find someone who'll really be worth your time. Who'll actually treat you as his girlfriend and as such respect you as well.

have you ever had a fwb? because, its not always just stick it in and fuck off. a lot of mine were close friends. we agreed relationships were stupid when all we were looking for was physical gratification with someone we knew well and trusted.

 

[Crashy19]

he'll think he owns you.

for sure
however i cant talk
i pretty much just told this guy last night that he does

 

[dux&src]

It looks like you blew it already!
(subtle pun not intended)
by being fwb with him he now sees you as merely as his object..

How could you let this happen to you...?
You shouldn't let guys use you!

 

[samthebear]

have you ever had a fwb? because, its not always just stick it in and fuck off. a lot of mine were close friends. we agreed relationships were stupid when all we were looking for was physical gratification with someone we knew well and trusted.

Shes asking if this relationship might develop into a romantic relationship - which i've said it most probably wont. if she was seeking sexual gratification she wouldnt be asking if what she has now with this guy (fwbs) would develop into something else. for anything to develop into a romatic relationship, respect has to be part of it and as far as i can ascertain, he's just simply using her.

 

[Reckoner]

err, there's no easy way to say this but he's using you. no it won't turn into something more. he just wants sex, not commitment. yeah he may brag about it to his friends. i'd be careful. like guys think its pretty impressive to be like "yeah i'm just fucking her, no strings attatched". he'll think he owns you.

are girls ever up for a "friends with benefits" kind of thing?

i'm thinking not?

maybe an extreme girl ... but my feeling is that most are genetically and socially programmed not to go for that stuff .... right?

 

[iloveapple]

tbh, no.
it's probably not going to move upwards from the fwb stage to anything romantic.
i agree - hold out for another guy who'll treat you like a proper gf.

 

[Pace_T]

what kind of stupid moron would say he wants a friends with benefits? you just date and her move towards sex as quick as you can, and whenever she asks if you two are officially dating, just beat around the bush

then make her into a friend with benefits. asking her straight out is the most stupid way to go about it.

people are so stupid these days.

 

[hopethisworks]

have you ever had a fwb? because, its not always just stick it in and fuck off. a lot of mine were close friends. we agreed relationships were stupid when all we were looking for was physical gratification with someone we knew well and trusted.

"a lot of mine were close friends."

this explains some things

 

[Shogun]

seeing that it's the first date and he asked that shows he is obviously needy. He wants to start the relationship at sex. Sex occurs after attraction and rapport. He wants to start at the end. If you start at the end you can't move backwards. So no, you can't transition into a romantic relationship.

Although if your up for a sexual relationship devoid of emotion then by all means go for it. Do realize that he will tell his friends. It's just the nature of us men.

 

[black_kat_meow]

It looks like you blew it already!
(subtle pun not intended)
by being fwb with him he now sees you as merely as his object..

How could you let this happen to you...?
You shouldn't let guys use you!

If a girl agreed to it you could just as easily argue she was using him.

 

[Shogun]

If a girl agreed to it you could just as easily argue she was using him.

I agree, women are the ones who ultimately choose. Not the guy. He has to be attractive, say the right words, do the right actions. The woman just has to accept them.

 

[sonyaleeisapixi]

"a lot of mine were close friends."

this explains some things

elaborate please?

 

[chelsea girl]

seeing that it's the first date and he asked that shows he is obviously needy. He wants to start the relationship at sex. Sex occurs after attraction and rapport. He wants to start at the end. If you start at the end you can't move backwards. So no, you can't transition into a romantic relationship.

Although if your up for a sexual relationship devoid of emotion then by all means go for it. Do realize that he will tell his friends. It's just the nature of us men.

No, you are wrong. There is no "right way" to do things; if two people have chemistry and a connection, the order in which things occur is of no consequence. Feelings can come after sex.

However, if this guy has explicitly said he only wants sex, don't get your hopes up. He is trying to establish a mutual understanding to ensure you don't get the wrong idea. So don't.

 

[Shogun]

No, you are wrong. There is no "right way" to do things; if two people have chemistry and a connection, the order in which things occur is of no consequence. Feelings can come after sex.

Chemistry = Attraction/Banter/Flirting/etc.
Connection = Rapport/Comfort/Romance/Trust/etc.

...but it's late and I may be wrong and talking crap, although I still think you bring up a good point.

edit: I just realised that it's different for every person. I doubt we can generalize this to every couple and every interaction.

 

[curry-desi-]

Just tell him. that ur looking for sumthing more.
depending on wat he says u can justify if its going anywhere. or in the direction u want it too

 

[Barmble]

Tell him that you're looking for more and not into the whole fwb thing, if he doesn't ever talk to you again then don't bother with him.