HELP! Structuring an Ancient Essay. (1 Viewer)

[TheVatican]

Ok so i'm quite pissed off that i got low C's for my last ancient history essay based on my structure, 'sophisticated language' and lack of referencing websites. How does sophisticated language contribute to my low mark? As long as it makes sense and fits into the context of what i'm trying to say right? Well my teacher says that unnecessary language will lose me marks, keep it simple and straight forward she says. And as for referencing websites, i will be happy to admit my complicity in the lack of referencing websites but my question is this, to what extent is referencing secondary sources necessary? I referred to my sources and brought in content from my provided text book and class papers, furthermore, i only used content from 2 websites and they were like 1 or 2 sentences, but my teacher justified her harsh mark by saying that my ideas didn't come from myself and that i had to reference to my class papers as well, notsureifsrs. I might as well reference every single word to my class papers. And as for my structure, will anyone be kind enough to send me a template on how a good ancient history essay should look like so i can improvise in the future? Thanks in advance!

 

[S1MZ8]

I did ancient history in my hsc last year n got 96 for it in the HSC. Secondary sources and primary sources are extremely important and prove to the marker that what you are saying is actually true (although they obvi already know if it is wrong or not). E.g. Herodotus claims that Xerxes was extremely harsh in his handling of Babylon and Egypt, although, archaelogical evidence points in a different direction; that Xerxes in fact made advances in agriculture and infrastructure. (very basic, i forgot most of the stuff but u can see where im going).
Can i ask what topics u are doing?

 

[TheVatican]

Hi S1MZ8M,

Glad you responded! yes, but if they know it is true then why do i need to reference even the most trivial things, surely that didn't serve as a catalyst to earn me a low mark! But i can understand where you are going with it, i guess every detail accounts for a mark! I mean i'm not an archaeologist, i wasn't there to observe an excavation and examine artifacts or relevant sources, my knowledge of Sparta comes from what the teacher feeds me whether it be the class papers or textbooks! I guess i'm just pissed off about a low mark hey. I'm doing Business Studies, Modern History, Ancient History, General Maths, English Standard and Visual Arts.

 

[-may-cat-]

Historical essays should deliver an argument to the reader in the utmost clear and concise manner. 'Flowery', overly sophisticated or verbose language tends to detract from your argument as it often prevents you from being clear and concise. While you might think you are impressing your reader, more often you are actually confusing them.

In terms of referencing, if you use information from a source that is not your own, yes, it must be referenced (hell, even if it is your own, you should reference it!). You might not like it, but that's just how it goes in historical studies. Uni history essays often contain 40+ footnote references.