How can I help my girlfriend grieving the loss of her friend? (1 Viewer)

[Crobat]

Hi everyone,

One of my girlfriend's closest primary school friends died last year this Sunday in a car accident where the driver of the other car was drunk and speeding. There'll be a memorial service on Sunday (which I'm not invited to since I didn't know the girl and it's only for close friends and family at the family's request) which has been on her mind lately, and she's started grieving quite considerably again - spontaneous crying, general depressing mood, etc. I'm not sure how to help her through this properly since I have never been through anything similar before.

Does anyone have any tips?

 

[enoilgam]

The best thing you can do in this situation (whether it be with a partner or just a friend) is to let them know you are there for them. You just have to gauge what they are looking for from you and act accordingly. I know that sounds simplistic, but that's pretty much the best thing you can do.

 

[Kiraken]

Also, do it in a way that doesn't come across as overbearing, be simple and just say you are there for them if need be and if they come to you for help and support then talk with them, don't try too hard to divert the topic as they could notice and it will ironically remind them of their friend. People have their own ways of coping and if you impeach on that too much you can make it worse, just make sure you are there for them if need be and make sure they don't do anything harmful to themselves or others.

From experience if it's someone close that is grieving, things such as a hug or just acting in a reassuring manner (closeness etc.) can help. If they need space its very important to respect that too, insisting on spending time with them when they don't want to can be very detrimental.

 

[someth1ng]

The best thing you can do in this situation (whether it be with a partner or just a friend) is to let them know you are there for them. You just have to gauge what they are looking for from you and act accordingly. I know that sounds simplistic, but that's pretty much the best thing you can do.

Pretty much this.

There's really not that much you can do but be there for her and it might be a good idea to spend some time with her, just doing anything together.

 

[nerdasdasd]

Hi everyone,

One of my girlfriend's closest primary school friends died last year this Sunday in a car accident where the driver of the other car was drunk and speeding. There'll be a memorial service on Sunday (which I'm not invited to since I didn't know the girl and it's only for close friends and family at the family's request) which has been on her mind lately, and she's started grieving quite considerably again - spontaneous crying, general depressing mood, etc. I'm not sure how to help her through this properly since I have never been through anything similar before.

Does anyone have any tips?

Umm try to be there for her . Make her laugh, make her smile and take her mind off things. Maybe even some action will do.

 

[Carrotsticks]

Umm try to be there for her . Make her laugh, make her smile and take her mind off things. Maybe even some action will do.

Highly inappropriate.

I hope you know better than to say things like this.

 

[CollinMclough]

Just be there for her when needed. If she needs you she'll let you know. Other than that just let her breathe a little.

 

[Makematics]

Nerd strikes again

 

[DannyBoy33]

It's all just normal. Just be there for here if she needs you, that's pretty much it.

 

[eastpak]

yeh, it's really not much you can do

 

[Drifting95]

Nerd strikes again

+1

 

[eastpak]

Btw are you friend zoned and looking for a way in now when she's vulnerable? If so, let us know, we'll think of a tactic.

 

[Crobat]

Thanks everyone for your advice. I'm trying my best to be there for her but I still feel like it's a bare minimum thing...

Btw are you friend zoned and looking for a way in now when she's vulnerable? If so, let us know, we'll think of a tactic.

Not exactly... been dating 2 years. I'm too attractive to get friendzoned #noshame

 

[JustDance]

bahahha, call me

 

[koreafantasy]

oh man i cringed when i read 'drunk and speeding'. wasnt even her fault. this world really does fucking suck sometimes.
but anyways, don't interfere too much. don't go 'omg its gonna be ok omg' 24/7, talk to her in a serious-y tone like this- 'do you need anything, if you do, you know who you can talk to'.

 

[Makematics]

oh man i cringed when i read 'drunk and speeding'. wasnt even her fault. this world really does fucking suck sometimes.
but anyways, don't interfere too much. don't go 'omg its gonna be ok omg' 24/7, talk to her in a serious-y tone like this- 'do you need anything, if you do, you know who you can talk to'.

ur a bit late champ

 

[Squar3root]

Umm try to be there for her . Make her laugh, make her smile and take her mind off things. Maybe even some action will do.

Not exactly... been dating 2 years. I'm too attractive to get friendzoned #noshame

lol