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How do I know if he's gay? (1 Viewer)

tlodg

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Re: How do I know if he's ?

I agree with you mate!! He might be too old for you.. go and find soemone and flirt and flaunt your beauty
I don't like guys my age..they look like kids. Sure, there's more excitement with younger guys but...I have a thing for maturity.
 

tlodg

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  • Someone behaving in an [insert here] way does not mean anything as far as sexuality goes. That shit is about gender roles, not orientation, and we've moved past gender roles as well - tomboys, business women, stay at home dads and metrosexuals etc.
  • Someone liking guys does not necessarily mean they're gay and someone liking a girl does not necessarily mean they're straight. Bisexuals and bicurious persons exist. Similarly, not being interested in one gender doesn't mean they're interested in another. Asexuals do exist. So anyone else they do/don't like is entirely irrelevant; don't bother measuring his reactions to men.
  • Someone doesn't have to be gay/straight just because they're not interested. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean that you have a chance with a straight guy and just because you're a guy doesn't mean you have a chance with a gay one. Don't base your hopes on their orientation.
  • Someone being a given orientation doesn't mean that they're going to be at all interested in a relationship with someone of the appropriate gender. There is nothing abnormal about this, some people just don't want relationships and that's not just about you.
Summary: You know nothing about someone's orientation unless they identify themselves to you and even when you know that fact, it might not be at all relevant to the situation. What you do know is that he doesn't want a relationship and so I'd just run with that.
That's consoling.. thanks. Anything is possible! (But I'd rather know not that he's gay if he is because..what if I go through all the days anticipating something special will happen and eventually discover he likes men and only men?) So, should I ask him out? I don't know how to.....it's weird because it's my colleague and he may think he's too much older for me. (He's 11 yrs older) We both like scary movies but I don't think he goes to cinemas (he thinks it's a waste of money to watch movies in cinemas).
 

Teclis

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My best suggestion in this situation is ask him... because if he is he might be relieved to tell you. And if he's NOT he might be interested to know that he comes off gay.

It's either that or get naked in front of him and see how he reacts.
 

tlodg

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My best suggestion in this situation is ask him... because if he is he might be relieved to tell you. And if he's NOT he might be interested to know that he comes off gay.

It's either that or get naked in front of him and see how he reacts.
I might ask him when we become closer friends. Right now I don't know if I can just ask..we hardly even talked about anything personal yet.
 

dux&src

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My best suggestion in this situation is ask him... because if he is he might be relieved to tell you. And if he's NOT he might be interested to know that he comes off gay.

It's either that or get naked in front of him and see how he reacts.
I like the latter. It's more direct.

if this hasnt been said yet, make your intentions obvious and see how he reacts.

or sleep with him
Very direct and to the point.
 

tussitussa

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Re: How do I know if he's ?

why exactly are you interested in him?
I don't really know..sometimes I have a strong feeling, sometimes no..sometimes I think "he's just another man"...sometimes I think he looks old..sometimes I think it's because, he's the only person who could potentially like/be with me in my life..there are no other guys in my life.
 

tussitussa

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Re: How do I know if he's ?

maybe try and get out there and meet more guys?

it's sounds kinda weird tbh, what's going on with you and him
Well I don't know how to explain it, I made it sound like we're closer than we really are. Basically we are just colleagues..who have started talking about more personal stuff, but the most personal thing we talked about are actually just movies we like/don't like.
 

tussitussa

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Re: How do I know if he's ?

i'd just say forget him tbh. get out and about. look aroud. find someone else.

having said that, i know it's easier said than done
Yes..he's probably not interested in me anyway. Otherwise, he would have jumped from me already. I believe if a guy really likes you, he will find a way to let you know (and he wouldn't wait for too long): however indirectly it is.
 

abbeyroad

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hahahaha I know there's a reason why I don't come to L&R much.
 

theism

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I have a crush on a guy, but my seventh sense tells me he may be gay. At first I didn't think so.

He talks in a female tone (not that his voice is high-pitched, he just talks like a girl lives inside), and he works out at the gym a lot (he's got huge arm muscles), talks about famous brands related to fashion and design that I don't even know of, screams when he sees a cockroach (not "argghhhrrr" like Arnold Swarzenegger but "ahhhhhhhhhh(gets softer and lighter in tone gradually)", and doesn't mind being single (he's 30-*ish) and thinks it's better being single, and talks to me about facial masks and how he takes care of his skin.

..is there no way to find out if he's gay except asking him straight out?
well...

you could try following him around, hanging out with him.
you'll know if he goes certain places..

anyway
apparently 1 in 10 people are gay.
so highly likely
 

sam04u

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What we can decipher from what you have told us:

1) He does attempt to improve his physical appearance this might be the cause of his apparent lack of self-esteem issues with being 30 and alone. This also could be amplified by having a close family so this eliminates the loneliness accompanied with not having a partner.

So either;
a) He is trying to impress somebody so he improves his physical appearance.
b) He has a lot of self confidence and a close family so he doesn't appear to care about being single. But still attempts to improve on himself.
c) He has placed a barrier there to prevent you from knowing his intentions.

Now again analysing those different possibilities from what we can decipher.

a) He is not interested in you.
b) He does not need a relationship. He probably resorts to pornography and will only ever be apart of a relationship if it is convenient. Which would be best for you.
c) He has an ongoing relationship or relationships he doesn't want you to know about. This option leaves the possibility of him being homosexual open.


2) He expresses typically feminine traits such as speaking with a female tone. This is where your intuition becomes important because that either shows an underlying predisposition to femininity or it is a guise used to deceive people. It is rare that it is the second instance but it is also a possibility. This would explain an abnormal interest in fashion, designer labels, and other such.

so either;
a) Expanding on the first option he is not interested in you because you do not meet his unrealistic ideas of what he would like to see in a woman. That could be because you are either too young, too old, or not attractive enough.
b) He has developed an interest and understanding of the female psyche due to a large network of family and friends. He probably has a sister or a friend who happens to be a female who takes interest in these things. Possibly even has developed mental techniques to appear less threatening and more inviting to randoms and people he is attempting to impress. Again this becomes more and more unrealistic as we expand on this possibility.
c) He is acting in a way which seems most natural to him. He might genuinely be shutting you out or be confused himself as to what he feels or more over would rather not let you know about a secret love life or affairs. He might have a boyfriend, or be asexual, or even a more bizzare and interesting lifestyle which he keeps underground in order to protect himself from judgement.

Now to reach a conclusion.

a) He has standards you can not meet so he does not exhibit interest in you. There is nothing you can do. (quite likely) 25%

b) He has no need for a relationship but would enter one if it became convenient. (more likely) 60%

c) He is putting up defensive barriers to appear a certain way to hide a lifestyle of which he believes you would not approve. (not very likely) 15%


In conclusion the likeliness of him being homosexual is actually pretty slim. It is statistically sound to make your intentions clear as you have a sporting chance to be successful.
 

sam04u

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/end judgement

Now you can hit on him and post results when you're done.

This judgement was brought to you by sam04u. Good day.
 

tlodg

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What we can decipher from what you have told us:

1) He does attempt to improve his physical appearance this might be the cause of his apparent lack of self-esteem issues with being 30 and alone. This also could be amplified by having a close family so this eliminates the loneliness accompanied with not having a partner.

So either;
a) He is trying to impress somebody so he improves his physical appearance.
b) He has a lot of self confidence and a close family so he doesn't appear to care about being single. But still attempts to improve on himself.
c) He has placed a barrier there to prevent you from knowing his intentions.

Now again analysing those different possibilities from what we can decipher.

a) He is not interested in you.
b) He does not need a relationship. He probably resorts to pornography and will only ever be apart of a relationship if it is convenient. Which would be best for you.
c) He has an ongoing relationship or relationships he doesn't want you to know about. This option leaves the possibility of him being homosexual open.


2) He expresses typically feminine traits such as speaking with a female tone. This is where your intuition becomes important because that either shows an underlying predisposition to femininity or it is a guise used to deceive people. It is rare that it is the second instance but it is also a possibility. This would explain an abnormal interest in fashion, designer labels, and other such.

so either;
a) Expanding on the first option he is not interested in you because you do not meet his unrealistic ideas of what he would like to see in a woman. That could be because you are either too young, too old, or not attractive enough.
b) He has developed an interest and understanding of the female psyche due to a large network of family and friends. He probably has a sister or a friend who happens to be a female who takes interest in these things. Possibly even has developed mental techniques to appear less threatening and more inviting to randoms and people he is attempting to impress. Again this becomes more and more unrealistic as we expand on this possibility.
c) He is acting in a way which seems most natural to him. He might genuinely be shutting you out or be confused himself as to what he feels or more over would rather not let you know about a secret love life or affairs. He might have a boyfriend, or be asexual, or even a more bizzare and interesting lifestyle which he keeps underground in order to protect himself from judgement.

Now to reach a conclusion.

a) He has standards you can not meet so he does not exhibit interest in you. There is nothing you can do. (quite likely) 25%

b) He has no need for a relationship but would enter one if it became convenient. (more likely) 60%

c) He is putting up defensive barriers to appear a certain way to hide a lifestyle of which he believes you would not approve. (not very likely) 15%


In conclusion the likeliness of him being homosexual is actually pretty slim. It is statistically sound to make your intentions clear as you have a sporting chance to be successful.
hahaha you've analyzed it in a scientific-experimental way.

I was happy when I read the bolded B part until I see "unrealistic."

Now even if he's not interested in me, I can still talk to him and be friends. Afterall, we do have the same interest: scary movies. If there's anything special between us..that miraculously happens, I'll let you guys know here. Thanks for your deep analysis..I am convinced that I cannot assume he's gay just because he hasn't shown much interest in me.
 

tussitussa

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Haha.
In answer to your question, I think he is gay. He's probably too old for you too anyway.
Do you think gay guys would love a woman who's masculine? I don't look like a dyke but my personality is very masculine.
 

Tulipa

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Do you think gay guys would love a woman who's masculine? I don't look like a dyke but my personality is very masculine.
Um. No.

It's not about having a feminine or masculine personality, it's about whether or not you have a dick. There are exceptions I guess, but if he's gay then leave it alone.
 

sam04u

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I was happy when I read the bolded B part until I see "unrealistic."
No I just meant that we can not expand on it any further to create a more in depth profile without any more information/evidence.
 

bigboyjames01

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What we can decipher from what you have told us:

1) He does attempt to improve his physical appearance this might be the cause of his apparent lack of self-esteem issues with being 30 and alone. This also could be amplified by having a close family so this eliminates the loneliness accompanied with not having a partner.

So either;
a) He is trying to impress somebody so he improves his physical appearance.
b) He has a lot of self confidence and a close family so he doesn't appear to care about being single. But still attempts to improve on himself.
c) He has placed a barrier there to prevent you from knowing his intentions.

Now again analysing those different possibilities from what we can decipher.

a) He is not interested in you.
b) He does not need a relationship. He probably resorts to pornography and will only ever be apart of a relationship if it is convenient. Which would be best for you.
c) He has an ongoing relationship or relationships he doesn't want you to know about. This option leaves the possibility of him being homosexual open.


2) He expresses typically feminine traits such as speaking with a female tone. This is where your intuition becomes important because that either shows an underlying predisposition to femininity or it is a guise used to deceive people. It is rare that it is the second instance but it is also a possibility. This would explain an abnormal interest in fashion, designer labels, and other such.

so either;
a) Expanding on the first option he is not interested in you because you do not meet his unrealistic ideas of what he would like to see in a woman. That could be because you are either too young, too old, or not attractive enough.
b) He has developed an interest and understanding of the female psyche due to a large network of family and friends. He probably has a sister or a friend who happens to be a female who takes interest in these things. Possibly even has developed mental techniques to appear less threatening and more inviting to randoms and people he is attempting to impress. Again this becomes more and more unrealistic as we expand on this possibility.
c) He is acting in a way which seems most natural to him. He might genuinely be shutting you out or be confused himself as to what he feels or more over would rather not let you know about a secret love life or affairs. He might have a boyfriend, or be asexual, or even a more bizzare and interesting lifestyle which he keeps underground in order to protect himself from judgement.

Now to reach a conclusion.

a) He has standards you can not meet so he does not exhibit interest in you. There is nothing you can do. (quite likely) 25%

b) He has no need for a relationship but would enter one if it became convenient. (more likely) 60%

c) He is putting up defensive barriers to appear a certain way to hide a lifestyle of which he believes you would not approve. (not very likely) 15%


In conclusion the likeliness of him being homosexual is actually pretty slim. It is statistically sound to make your intentions clear as you have a sporting chance to be successful.
dude, wtf?
 

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