How do you find out whether someone's gay? (1 Viewer)

[Redgoddess]

Okay people, i'm bisexual, and i'm interested in a girl. we've become friends and i think she might be into me, but i dont know. how can i find out if she's gay/bi without offending her?

 

[thejosiekiller]

has the topic of homosexuality/bisexualism come up in conversations? reactions? que?!?!?

 

[Redgoddess]

I dunno, we've kinda flirted, but heaps of my friends flirt and they're not gay or into chicks at all, so ...

 

[grk_styl]

Unfortunately I'm speaking from personal experience, do not get her drunk. Chances are she may get with you but only because she's drunk and has lost her inhibitions. It doesn't mean she's gay/bisexual/or interested in you. It could just mean she's drunk and she wants to experiment a little.

I personally think that getting someone drunk so they can pash you/or you can pash them is incredibly immature and very demeaning to the other person. If she wants you, you would want her to want you when she's sober, not when she's drunk.

Does she know you're bi? thejosiekiller has a point, you should find out what she thinks about bisexuals/homosexuals and whether she's interested in experimenting.

Just be careful, because you could ruin a perfectly good friendship, which is what happened in my situation.

(P.S becareful I get jumped on, I'm straight, but I had a bisexual friend after me)

 

[Redgoddess]

yeah, that's my issue - i dont wanna ruin a friendship. and i agree, getting someone drunk isnt the way to go, i wouldnt be comfortable doing that. it could get all kinds of wierd afterwards - awkward questions would be asked. i've hinted i'm bi, but i havent come out and said it... i've flirted with her, but as i said earlier, a bunch of my friends flirt with chicks w/o it meaning anything ...makes life confusing

 

[kami]

Okay people, i'm bisexual, and i'm interested in a girl. we've become friends and i think she might be into me, but i dont know. how can i find out if she's gay/bi without offending her?

Alot of different places have different attitudes to gay/bi peoples. If its threatening in a social or physical context for you then it likewise it will be for her, so its more likely she'd confide in you if you confided in her - people who are in closets themselves won't always be able to see through the closet doors of others.

That said, if the environment you're in does make it uncomfortable for you to admit your sexuality directly then it may be best to find out her feelings on the subject of gay/bi peoples first. Pick a gay/bi related issue and raise it with her to see her stance on things - it can even be academic, for instance "omgosh do you think I should do gay [insert issue here] for my Society & culture/CAFS/PDHPE assignment?" And if she responds negatively then she either isn't ok with gay/bi peoples or she's too heavily in the closet to tell you just now. If its a better reaction then go from there.

Also a bit of advice, though you may have realised it already, but try not to talk too much about what guy is hot and that sort of thing to her, because chances are if she's gay/bi then it might only confuse her into thinking *you* are straight but like pretend flirting with girls.

 

[sweet_as]

Bring the topic up casually in conversation, perhaps you could comment about something you've read, seen on the news (maybe the current ACT Civil Union controversy), and see what reaction you get. IMO, the best thing to do is to be really subtle about it, if you get a positive comment go from there, or if you get a negative you can stop without any embarresment or awkwardness. After all, it would be casual chatting between friends.

 

[The_Apprentice]

Ask her if shes ever pashed a girl/why did she do it and would she do it again.
If she says something like "Yuck, I'd never do that," then shes prob not interested.
I don't think asking her that would be too weird. Girls talk about that kinda stuff sometimes. Maybe ask her something else first, so it's not too upfront. If you're too serious she might freak out.

 

[hiphophooray123]

get someoe else to ask her, someone like kramer

ya know

like jerry always made kramer find out stuff on seinfeld because kramer has doesnt care what he says

 

[Redgoddess]

mmm, good advice people... except possibly the kramer thing. thanks

 

[helsie]

get someoe else to ask her, someone like kramer

ya know

like jerry always made kramer find out stuff on seinfeld because kramer has doesnt care what he says

lol. fukin awsum show.

i suggest truth or dare at a house party thing. that way everyone else can find out too and then you might find out that someone else is gay or bi....and then the possibilities would be endless....haha

 

[purplefruitloop]

Okay people, i'm bisexual, and i'm interested in a girl. we've become friends and i think she might be into me, but i dont know. how can i find out if she's gay/bi without offending her?

thats a hard one.
i usually trust my gaydar hahah. it actually works with me haha.
but when im nervous it tends to become really faulty.
soo don't always trust ' le gaydar '! hahaha

i guess, you will have to somewhat imply how you feel.
perhaps you could mention something like 'wow, that girl is hot lol'
and see how she reacts?

dunno.

gee. i suck at this don't i? LOL

>_<

well, goodluck.

 

[Redgoddess]

thanks ^.^

 

[pennypacker]

lol go with the kramer suggestion. The only problem is finding someone like kramer could be difficult...

 

[withoutaface]

Fuck them from behind and see if they push back.

 

[Optophobia]

Fuck them from behind and see if they push back.

 

[dora_18]

OMG!!! that is the most adorable thing i have ever seen!!!!! i love it!! the..owl that is.....
anywayyyyyyyyyy..i forgot the initial question on the thread....

 

[dora_18]

ok right....
make sure to follow this advice....

Unfortunately I'm speaking from personal experience, do not get her drunk

....
because your night will go something like this
-enter making out
-enter hickies
-enter possible weirdness and akwardness the next day....due to the alcohol fucking you up(oh well...actually depends how drunk you get her...)

i dont think its really such a big issue ...if she likes you she likes you...i doubt shed be offended by the notion of you being bi...and asking her if she likes you
well i wouldn't be....
you really have two scenarios emerge...you can either make a move and hope for the best or you can come outright and ask her where she stands on the issue..(i think someone has said this already...?)
but if you dont approach it properly then you can potentially wreck a good friendship...sometimes you have to differenciate whether its more important to have a partner or an awesome friend....

 

[tlodg]

if they get too sensitive about topics/talks regarding homosexualism then they could be gay
might try to avoid the topic

 

[withoutaface]

Just ask her. I've had way too many people ask me if I was a fag and I wasn't that offended.