How much do you dream with your loved one about the future?! (1 Viewer)

[ur_inner_child]

Is it to the extent that you've got your fantasy wedding and wedding night planned already?! Or are you just in a relationship and not expecting it to last all that long?!

I don't really fit in any of those extremes. I admit that I've thought about it as any normal person would. My closest friends have asked about it seriously; about whether I see myself with him for the rest of my life.

Been with him for 3+ years and I also live with him. As for my feelings on the matter, I don't think about it very deeply. I can't see the inbetween from right now to when I do get married, and besides, I'm more concerned about the inbetween. You know, the "finding my feet" part.

It scares me that if we don't end up as a married couple, we would've broken up very messily. It'd take something painful (or one of us to have a long period of unhappiness) to break us up. I'd also have to leave the house and that's two big changes for me. It also scares me that if he is the one, he may be the last person I'm allowed to have butterflies for.


So I rather not think about such things.

 

[Cykologi_gal]

I don't really fit in any of those extremes. I admit that I've thought about it as any normal person would. My closest friends have asked about it seriously; about whether I see myself with him for the rest of my life.

Been with him for 3+ years and I also live with him. As for my feelings on the matter, I don't think about it very deeply. I can't see the inbetween from right now to when I do get married, and besides, I'm more concerned about the inbetween. You know, the "finding my feet" part.

It scares me that if we don't end up as a married couple, we would've broken up very messily. It'd take something painful (or one of us to have a long period of unhappiness) to break us up. I'd also have to leave the house and that's two big changes for me. It also scares me that if he is the one, he may be the last person I'm allowed to have butterflies for.


So I rather not think about such things.

Yeah, that's my fear as well - Breaking up messily or not wooed anymore.

 

[cerpin taxt]

We talk about it occasionally, but its mainly Tennille saying "I AM NOT NAMING OUR KID GERTRUDE!"

And that Tom guy... so carpe diem.

hahah

i wish i had been called gertrude

 

[!! CaR`JiE !!]

hm.. i wouldn't think about it too much. At tis age and stage.. its too early.
And waste of time predicting if he's the One. coz along the track.. situations b/w us might change from now till the day of my marriage.
Thinking about it.. dreaming abt it, leads to disappointments and stress.

You can't do anything but just HOPE.
Hope everything will turn out great and for the best.

I would like to spend my time with him for quite sometime.. but for lifetime? im not sure yet.. he needs to prove his commitment n stuff. He's a great guy.. anyone wud like a decent guy like him.

However, im not sure i am willing to stay with him coz there will be language barrier b/w his family and my family. Different culture and language - so if i choose to stay with him, i will be choosing to face the pressure. Im not sure i am willing to do that for a lifetime (NB my opinion now might vary in future)

My length of my current relationship 1.3 year

 

[Nakashima]

hm.. i wouldn't think about it too much. At tis age and stage.. its too early.
And waste of time predicting if he's the One. coz along the track.. situations b/w us might change from now till the day of my marriage.
Thinking about it.. dreaming abt it, leads to disappointments and stress.

QFT. The more you idealise, the more you crash and burn if/when it ends.

 

[Skeeta]

well i'm fucked then

we actually went looking for engagement rings :/

 

[alby]

you know what ring and dress you want...yet you get scared looking at rings with him? :/

personally, i'm only of those i-want-to-stay-with-him-for-as-long-as-possible people, because i've said forever before and the relationship didnt even have a good basis, let alone any real-ish feelings...so the word's kinda scarred with me

i dont think about getting married just yet, caus i know i wont really want to do it until i've at least finished tafe (so after next year, or about 3-4 years after that if i want to do uni before getting a ring). i love him and all, and can see us being together for ages, but i think that's only because there hasnt been/arent any reasons for us to break up

 

[Atticus.]

We talk about it occasionally, but its mainly Tennille saying "I AM NOT NAMING OUR KID GERTRUDE!"

And that Tom guy... so carpe diem.

oh wow you made my life!

 

[alby]

the most future planning you do is bos meats...which're max 6 weeks away when you start planning

ps. the guy in your av reminds me of stas...crazy

 

[Not-That-Bright]

t also scares me that if he is the one, he may be the last person I'm allowed to have butterflies for.

Yeah, that's my fear as well - Breaking up messily or not wooed anymore.

You girls need to stop worrying - Infidelity is the core of any modern, long-lasting marriage.

 

[Cykologi_gal]

Never thought I'd see "long-lasting" and "marriage" in the same sentence.

LOL...ahh, we've all been corrupted by Hollywood lol.

 

[Skeeta]

you know what ring and dress you want...yet you get scared looking at rings with him? :/

I've known what type of ring, wedding, dress etc i wanted since i was about.. twelve..

GOING out and looking at engagement rings with an actual person is way different.

 

[Bookie]

Angels*

 

[Redgoddess]

when i was with my girl i planned ahead somewhat, like i thought we'd be together at least until we started uni (well, that's as far ahead as i was capable of thinking anyway) and i'd thought about stuff we could do together in between school ending and uni beginning and whatnot, and this was back in like march. but then my mum broke us up, so that killed those plans. i think i'm too disorganised to think about the far future like marriage and all that type of stuff, i more live day by day most of the time, the above being the exception, but then i've spent all year planning what i'd do once the hsc was over lol, it was all that was getting me through. that and the parties and free periods...

 

[Cykologi_gal]

Woh...parental intervention?!

 

[Supra]

We've thought about it. We both want to get married, to each other and we talk about it frequently. She's met my parents and they liked her, just gotta meet hers soon. Ideally though, the biggest test of any relationship is being together for a long time, being faithful and loving the other unconditionally for that time as well. So I just want to see how strong we are ina couple of years before giving it some more deeper thought. Time frame for marriage is realistically around 5 years away...

 

[iambored]

apparently one of the best things to do is to move in with each other before marraige. that way u get an insight into seeing what it wud b like to live with them permanently etc(ie. u find out bad habits and also good things u cud get used to).

I dunno I think I’m old fashioned in my thinking on this but if I loved someone enough to consider marrying them, surely moving in with them and finding out bad habits wouldn’t put me off?

 

[Supra]

thats great. grats. can i ask, is she of a similar background? and if she wasn't would ur parents budge or wud they be cool with it?

yeah, a 5 yr test is good to see if u shud get married.

apparently one of the best things to do is to move in with each other before marraige. that way u get an insight into seeing what it wud b like to live with them permanently etc(ie. u find out bad habits and also good things u cud get used to).

thanks Yeh we're both indian, both born in Fiji so thats cool. My parents would have to get used to the idea about me dating a non-indian (if that was the case) but they'd be ok with it quickly im sure.

You can move in, but for some people thats impossible (parents wouldnt allow it), so the next best thing is practically spending a hell of a lot of time together...

 

[dagwoman]

I recall reading a study that said that living together before marriage has no benefits, so I'm with imabored.

I don't think that's true. Before I commit to spending my life with something, I want to know what spending my life with someone is like.

 

[Nakashima]

I don't think that's true. Before I commit to spending my life with something, I want to know what spending my life with someone is like.

It helps because if you're exposed to their intolerable habits before marriage, it's a break-up rather than a divorce.

But it really doesn't make a difference on the relationship. If the habits are there and you can't stand them, you'll break up sooner or later regardless of whether or not the two of you move in together before getting married.