HSC Falling Apart - Parents Divorce - Serious Discussion Pls (1 Viewer)

[Zokunu]

This is long, if you can please don’t skim.

My parents just separated yesterday. My mum is still here, but my dad left due to financial issues. I’m already having mixed emotions. They are going to book a lawyer or something and go court to solve this all at once. Then there is a high possibility that we are moving houses or if possible separating siblings (my sister/me picks or goes with dad/mum).

Even if we picked one, there would be still financial crisis. For example for dinner, I swear to god all I had was AN EGG with a fcked up york on top, RICE and cucumbers. Also one of them may be unable to pay electricity, water bills ( I know they savings, I can’t explain it thoroughly for you right now) – and so it might soon be cut if we are unable to pay.

However at the same time, they both understand that I have this HSC. So they will choose to make a decision on whether or not they will divorce , after this HSC has finished for me. How does this solve the problem…emotions are not toys to play around with. Even if they didn’t divorce, they are still separated with hatred and depression, headaches. I’m suffering from all this and tbh I don’t think I can continue anymore and even if I did it may take 1 or 2 weeks for me to calm down, focus and that would leave me with like…idk 4 -5 weeks? My dad’s words when he left the house was something in the lines of - study hard and be a good man – something like that. When I got back from him privately after school, he said he is “bored”, lonely, and he cried and explained the situation. I can feel that my mum is feeling this too, she keeps on getting headache reliefs like panadol or something like that. I don’t want to see them like this…really.

Universities offer this EAS Disadvantage Form where you sign and explain what disadvantages you are having in terms of HSC right, like family death, divorce, financial crisis etc. I obviously want to fill in something like this, but the maximum you can get is 5 (correct me if I’m wrong). Even if I did sign, I would still need evidence (Divorce Letter/Slip). I can’t do this because they are only separated for now, one lives at home and the other lives in a hotel, motel, apartment, car idk. At the same time I obviously don’t want them to divorce but can’t get this because there is no proof and could possibly just be an additional 1 – 3 points or something. I don’t know whether or not I should continue or not.

My mum on the other hand gave me 2 options. I either continue studying and get an ATAR or give up because of this fcked up situation and emotions I’m having right now and quickly move houses ( which she really wants to right now , a really sh1t one) and go to TAFE or get a decent job instead of wasting time for this 6 weeks without a right attitude for studying. When she said that, I was considering repeating instead, it could be a "fcked up decision" but idk tbh.


Out of all the year 12’s out their, I had to be the only one suffering from this bullsh1t. I really do hope that the people actually working for BOS reads this because this is not fair at all, especially in an disadvantaged school where it actually takes over 1 weeks to get a draft from an English teacher etc. Please if anyone can give some suggestions that would be great, this can legit be a life changing decision. Thank you so much.

 

[wiliaamnguuyen]

Mate, I deeply understand your situation you're having. I advise you to talk to your mother or father to leave you alone in this HSC period. Listen to your father's words. Study hard. Relax for 2-3 days. Explain to your mum, that you don't want to move houses into an even shittier house. Talk to them, maybe they will listen. In my case, no one listens to me my opinion since I'm just a teenager. I will try to give some advice to each of the small problems you're having.

To the mixed emotions: Talk to somebody about it. Hell, even exercise your heart out till the point you can't think anymore. That works for me, but actually talk and get it off your chest. Have someone to support you. If you don't have any friends that could support you, I promise you. You can do this, you can be a man and do this.

To the issue of booking a lawyer and going court: Tell your mum, that it is the utmost importance that your mum and your father doesn't go to court during your HSC period. If your mother actually cares about you & your studying, she will listen. It is your choice of abandoning HSC exams, and go study Tafe or actually trying your best for HSC. After having your HSC exams, you can talk to your mother about the issues she's having and that way, you guys can work it out. If there's 0% chance of them being back together, do not worry. You will still see your father and mother. Sometimes people split up, and your parents will always treasure you.

Financial crisis issue: Don't worry about not having enough food to eat. You can push through. Use your mind, on finding food for yourself and for your family. Things will get better, okay?
Suggest to your mother, rather than wasting money on a lawyer, how about feeding your children properly.

Mindset for HSC: Instead of thinking of your parents getting divorced, which will be a hard thing. Think about, how proud you're going to make them when you gave your best in the HSC exam. Get into the mindset for HSC, your parents still love you man. It's a waste of time moping about it. About your mother and your father feeling morose, you can't do anything. You can cheer them up, but I can't give any advice on that. I'm sorry.

Since you said, you're at a shit school. Go to the library, and borrow some books. Study, but relax at the same time. Enjoy the little things. Go to teachers and work. Send your essay to me, and I will send it to one of my HEAD teachers, and it will be marked and been given great feedback in 2 days. That's how I can help you. On Bored of Studies, they give out wonderful studying material and notes that will guide you. Resources section also.
My advice for you, try to put your family's problem out of your head and make your father proud by studying hard. You got this, good luck.

 

[ManDarren]

Talk to a careers advisor. It seems your main concern is getting into uni.

 

[cem]

Talk to the relevant staff member at school - counsellor, year advisor etc as they will be able to help you with the various issues that you are having at this moment.

 

[BLIT2014]

http://www.uac.edu.au/documents/eas/eas-form.pdf
http://www.uac.edu.au/documents/eas/eas-booklet.pdf

 

[BLIT2014]

Is there a teacher which you could talk more to about your situation.


You've only got a few weeks left, and you've managed to stick/stay in school this long, then I believe that you are strong enough to finish the HSC.

I think that it would be worth continuing at this stage, and in a HSC 2014 entire state cohort there will be others also experiencing similar conditions etc.

About not getting the required ATAR, You could go onto a lower course then transfer or there may be a way that you don't have to take externals, and BOS could use internals to estimate (Not sure if you are eligible or not)

About the food issue, Do you have any good friends you could perhaps spend time at during the week?

 

[MrTammoth]

If this is getting out of control for you and it's causing too much stress i advise living with your best friend and tell you parents that you're going to keep studying and finish HSC. Therefore you'll get supply of food and accommodation. Also apply for EAS scheme to maximise your atar due to financial difficulties.

This situation is very important for you and plenty of others are affected in the same situation as you. You have to fight it and finish the HSC hence you're this close to finishing only 6 weeks left. You're parents will clearly understand your situation and they would like to help you to the best of their ability.

Seek for further advise from counsellor or your year advisor i'm sure they are willing to help you in anyway.

Earlier this year i was in the same situation as you but my parents knew that i have HSC and they didn't want to affect me in anyway, but i knew their divorce was going to happen a long time ago and even if it happened it wouldn't have affected me in anyone. You have to just push yourself and don't let this affect you in anyway. Move on, what has happened has happened.

Just remember other people suffer the same as you or maybe in worse condition.

Goodluck for HSC,
I wish the best of luck for you and don't let this hinder your mind.

 

[lilcutetricker]

Like everyone has said; finish the HSC. You've come this far, all the late nights, all the exams, all the money for tuition. What you're experiencing is traumatic, but if you just give up when you're so close to finishing, you'll just regret it later when all your emotions has died down and you realise that you were only a few weeks away from 5 years worth of work of highschool.

I may not be able to understand your situation or emotions or your past but right now i think that having support from people around you e.g. close friends, other family members will do nothing but benefit your situation. May be talk to the councellor or even a few friends to vent our your frustration and emotions.

I'm sure your friends or other family members or even the government will be able to assist you in your financial issues. isn't there government aid for people who are under a certain income range? You should look it up instead of having to just eat the bare minimum.

You've come this far. Finish it! All the best OP. Work hard for HSC.

 

[RenegadeMx]

bonus points incoming for OP ding ding ding

 

[Queenroot]

About the HSC matter:
I'd say go through with the HSC. You've made it so far, repeating would not be worth it. Just go to University, start a new life, fresh. And your fees will be paid by HECS for the time being anyway. You will be able to perform again in Uni. What course are you aiming for?

There's a lot of support services for people like you.
Do you get youth allowance?

 

[faisalabdul16]

Apply for bonus points

Don't repeat unless you are really unsatisfied.

 

[meggles_]

OP, I'm sorry that this is happening to you, and we all feel for you.

Please have a talk with your parents separately if need be, and explain that you would really like to continue with the HSC - you are so close to the finish line!
I would suggest that you finish the HSC - even if you don't get an adequate ATAR for your desired uni course, there are always other pathways in and if you give up your HSC now, think about all that effort and time that will go to waste

As others have said, please don't keep this bottled up inside you - talk to the school counselor, your year adviser or school principal, or even just your friends

In regards to the EAS scheme, you will have to talk to the counselor and the school principal to confirm if you are eligible

I know this is easy to say, but the best thing you can do is move on - people fall out of relationships all the time
I hope can understand that although your parents are separated and going through a difficult time, they both still care about you, and that they'd want you to make the most out of the next couple of months - but, the most important thing is, do what makes you happy
If you think dropping out and getting a job is the best decision, then do it

Please take it easy for the next couple of weeks, and remember to talk to someone
Maybe consider Youth Allowance - I'm sure Centrelink has allowances for people in your situation

If you need to talk to anybody to vent or if you need help with any of your subjects, you can always PM me and I'll try my best to help

Best of luck to you and your sister!

 

[emilios]

I really feel for you. My parents are also going through something similar, but not to that extent. They're talking about 'separating' as of now, not yet divorcing. It's tough, but we'll all get through it.

This is gonna be a bit direct, but this is my advice: just get into uni. You seem like you're dedicated to your studies and honestly with an ATAR in the 80s there's hundreds of courses you can do. There's so many different paths too besides just straight out of highschool. Once you're in uni, you can transfer and change to suit your needs. E.g. I had a friend who transferred from a UWS HR management course to UMACQ; he was only in UWS in the first place cos he had a rough time in highschool.

Just hang on man. You won't regret getting into Uni. And your HECS can be paid over the course of your career.

Best wishes.

 

[nerdasdasd]

@OP

A divorce would make you applicable for EAS.

ED code H01C- Your home environment was severely disrupted due to the divorce or separation of your parents during Year 11 and/or 12 or equivalent

Source - http://www.uac.edu.au/documents/eas/eas-booklet.pdf

If they are going to divorce, then I suggest you to apply ASAP. Tell your counsellor about the situation, and maybe they can provide a referral or something.

GOod luck . Stay strong!

 

[jdennis]

@OP

A divorce would make you applicable for EAS.

ED code H01C- Your home environment was severely disrupted due to the divorce or separation of your parents during Year 11 and/or 12 or equivalent

Source - http://www.uac.edu.au/documents/eas/eas-booklet.pdf

If they are going to divorce, then I suggest you to apply ASAP. Tell your counsellor about the situation, and maybe they can provide a referral or something.

GOod luck . Stay strong!

That seems like even a separation would count, it isn't worded as though a divorce actually has to occur.

My best advice to you is to see someone at your school, like a counsellor, year advisor or just any teacher you trust, and just ask them what you can do in this situation. Have a look on UAC, maybe even contact them, and see what options are available to you. But you've only got something like 9 weeks until it's all over, so stick it out! As others have said, even if your ATAR is not what you wanted, you can always get into courses through the 'back door'. And with things like EAS that's even easier.

All the best, and I hope things work out for you. I can't imagine what you're going through but I really want you to do well (I don't even know you lol), so make the most of the 12 years you've spent at school and don't give up now on the home straight.

 

[Thank_You]

Upon what Adrita said, also for financial issues, for USYD, apply for the 'E12' scholarship. I hope you're from a low SES area like me, so apply and get a scholarship!!! It closes 12 SEPT, so if you can, please do so. If not, all the best dude, stay strong and chin up. You can get through this.