Humorous Judicial Moments (1 Viewer)

[dissipate]

MR B.W.WALKER, SC: May it please the Court, I appear with my learned friend, MR M.E. ELIADIS, for the appellant. (instructed by Shine Roche McGowan)


MR J.A. GRIFFIN, QC: May it please the Court, I appear with my learned friend, MR M.T. O’SULLIVAN, for the respondent. (instructed by Blake Dawson Waldron)


GLEESON CJ:Mr Walker and Mr Griffin, I hold some shares in http://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/disp.pl/au/other/HCATrans/2005/7.html?query=^+woolworths#disp3Woolworths Limited, which I assume is the holding company of the respondent.


McHUGH J: And so do I.


HAYNE J:As do I.


KIRBY J:I do not, but I do go to shop at http://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/disp.pl/au/other/HCATrans/2005/7.html?query=^+woolworths#disp4Woolworthsfrom time to time, quite happily.


MR WALKER:As long as your Honour does not strike hard bargains. No, your Honours, there is no difficulty for the appellant in any of those matters.


GLEESON CJ: Yes, thank you, Mr Walker. Yes, Mr Walker.

 

[MoonlightSonata]

Re: Judges go shopping too

Yes, that little gem has been posted before


I have a little collection going:

http://members.iinet.net.au/~cgmhome/interalia/

 

[xeuyrawp]

Re: Judges go shopping too

Yes, that little gem has been posted before


I have a little collection going:

http://members.iinet.net.au/~cgmhome/interalia/

Wow, that's a cool site. THanks for that, mate!

This one's the best:

MR RANA: I would like to start with the maxim, generalia specialibus non derogant, which means general things do not derogate from special things which was applied at the case of GPAO v Northern Territory. In that his Honour Justice Kirby was the only dissenter and I think he was right. Why I say that is that --

KIRBY J: That is a very good start to your submission.

This one's second-best.

CALLINAN J: Mr Jackson, it seems to me that clearly the people at the party, including Ms Joslyn and Mr Berryman, went out with the intention of getting drunk.

MR JACKSON: It would be a big night, Your Honour, big night.

CALLINAN J: With the intention of getting drunk and they fulfilled that intention.

MR JACKSON: Well, Your Honour, young people sometimes...

KIRBY J: I just think "drunk" is a label and I am a little worried about -- it is not necessary to put that label. It is just that they were sufficiently affected by alcohol to affect their capacity to drive.

MR JACKSON: Yes.

KIRBY J: "A drunk" has all sorts of baggage with it.

HAYNE J: Perhaps "hammered" is the more modern expression, Mr Jackson, or "well and truly hammered".

MR JACKSON: I am indebted to Your Honour.

KIRBY J: I do not know any of these expressions.

McHUGH J: No, no. Justice Hayne must live a very different life to the sort of life we lead.

KIRBY J: I have never heard that word "hammered" before, never. Not before this very minute.

Did you just do a search for cases on (or is it 'in'?) which Kirby was sitting?

 

[MoonlightSonata]

Re: Judges go shopping too

lol

No it's just that everytime I see one of these extracts somewhere (Bar News, Justinian, etc.) I save it.

Occassionally I come across humorous things when I read random transcripts myself (good for picking up appropriate mode of expression, as well as great mental exercise). But I don't get the time to do that much.

 

[TerrbleSpellor]

Re: Judges go shopping too

lol

No it's just that everytime I see one of these extracts somewhere (Bar News, Justinian, etc.) I save it.

Occassionally I come across humorous things when I read random transcripts myself (good for picking up appropriate mode of expression, as well as great mental exercise). But I don't get the time to do that much.

I'll hear no more of your triffle Mr Darcy! And that's final.

COURT OFFICER: Will you take an oath on the bible?
A. No. I’ll punch the bible up your arse.

.............
CROWN PROSECUTOR: Q. And in what form was that, and how much?
A. Fucked if I know.

HIS HONOUR: I beg your pardon?
A. Buggered if I know.

HIS HONOUR: You will adopt a respectful attitude in this court.
A. Can you let me go?

HIS HONOUR: No. Go on, Mr Crown.
A. Well, I won't answer no more questions. If you want to hold me in contempt, go for your fucken' life.

CROWN PROSECUTOR: Q. Sir, did you have any method of transportation when you were in Sanctuary Point?
A. (No answer).

Q. Do you know the accused, Peter Taber?
A. (No answer).

 

[hfis]

Re: Judges go shopping too

Haha, I remember that page. Good to see some new ones since I was last there, thanks MS.

MR WILSON: The judiciary should never be given, nor allowed to assume, total power whereby they can conceal their own incompetence, corruption and treachery. I have said that many times.

GUMMOW J: We cannot have total power, and I will not hear you use expressions like that.

MR WILSON: It is plain English.

GUMMOW J: Talking generally about corruption.

MR WILSON: It is intended to get the message across that - - -

GUMMOW J: The message is one of total constitutional incoherence at the moment I am afraid I have to tell you.

This entire transcript is gold, from start to finish.

 

[MoonlightSonata]

Re: Judges go shopping too

MR WILSON: Down in Canberra they have erect the Magna Carta monument. Have you been to see it? You will not answer? Mr Callinan, have you seen it?

CALLINAN J: Look, you cannot really ask me questions, but, yes, I did see it, Mr Wilson.

MR WILSON: Well, this is a two-way thing, you were asking me questions and I am asking you.

GUMMOW J: No, it is not a two-way thing, actually.

MR WILSON: It is not?

GUMMOW J: No.

MR WILSON: You are a dictator, are you?

:rofl:

 

[TerrbleSpellor]

Re: Judges go shopping too

^^ and i thought only Judge Judy was that frank with people.

The high court gets away with it? (Even though its not the actual case). It sounds like they have heard him before.

 

[hfis]

Re: Judges go shopping too

^^ and i thought only Judge Judy was that frank with people.

The high court gets away with it? (Even though its not the actual case). It sounds like they have heard him before.

Get away with what? In context, Gummow J was actually rather reserved. He deserves the Nobel Prize for pacifism if anything.

 

[monzi]

Re: Judges go shopping too

Haha, I remember that page. Good to see some new ones since I was last there, thanks MS.



This entire transcript is gold, from start to finish.

MR WILSON: For any judge to say that an Australian has not got the right to trial by jury and - - -


GUMMOW J: Well, it is just not right.


MR WILSON: Pardon? It is not - - -


GUMMOW J: It is not correct. Section 80 of the Constitution makes certain provision in criminal matters.


MR WILSON: In section 80 of the Constitution to constitute the Commonwealth of Australia is one part of the Constitution of Australia. It is only one single document. In fact, the right to trial by jury is well established as a constitutional law, constitutional law.


GUMMOW J: Look, you can try and lecture us about these matters if you wish.


MR WILSON: Pardon?


GUMMOW J: You can try and lecture us about these matters if you wish, Mr Wilson.


MR WILSON: Well, obviously the judiciary is in gross error and gross ignorance.


GUMMOW J: That would be fairly unlikely. You might have - - -


MR WILSON: It is not - I have been fighting for the right to trial by jury.


GUMMOW J: You continue with what you say - - -


MR WILSON: Can I say - this is my 20 minutes. Can I say my 20 minutes?


GUMMOW J: Just listen to me for a minute and you might be better off. You proceed to say what you wish for the next 20 minutes, right, which is your time. Now, go ahead.


MR WILSON: Well, the right to trial by jury is far more than an entitlement precious to Australians. It is the only way to guarantee truth, justice and freedom. Thomas Jefferson said trial by jury is the only anchor yet imagined by man which can hold a government to the principles of its Constitution. Sovereignty lies with the people of Australia, and it is the will of the people that governs this nation. Sovereignty does not lie with the Parliament nor the judiciary. They swear an oath to be faithful and they have true allegiance and well and truly serve Queen Elizabeth II of England who - - -


GUMMOW J: No, not Queen Elizabeth II of England.


MR WILSON: Queen Elizabeth II of England.


GUMMOW J: No, there is no such person. In the first place, Her Majesty's sovereignty is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and in the second place, relevantly for this, she is the Queen of Australia.


MR WILSON: The first Queen Elizabeth was Queen of England.


GUMMOW J: Of course, before the union of the Crowns in 1603.


MR WILSON: So therefore Queen Elizabeth II is the second Queen to be called Elizabeth of England, not of Australia. She is not Queen Elizabeth II of Australia. You have sworn an oath to Queen Elizabeth II, have you not?


GUMMOW J: Do not ask questions of the Bench, please.


MR WILSON: You refuse to answer? Okay, so sovereignty does not lie with the Parliaments nor the judiciary. They swear an oath to be faithful and bear true allegiance and well and truly serve Queen Elizabeth II of England, who has in turn sworn to govern the peoples of Australia according to our laws and customs. The way in which she has done this is laid out in the words of the Coronation ceremony. I have included that as one of the documents for your enlightenment.


GUMMOW J: Do not use expressions like that either, please.


MR WILSON: Pardon?


GUMMOW J: Do not insult the Bench with expressions like that.


MR WILSON: What is wrong with "enlightenment"?


GUMMOW J: Carry on.


MR WILSON: The right to trial by jury is entrenched in our laws, and anyone such as the diverse "evil counsellors . . . and ministers", mentioned in the Bill of Rights 1688, who endeavour to "subvert and extirpate . . . the laws and liberties" is treacherous and they must be punished according to laws for their evil doings. This is all laid out, again, in section 43 of the Imperial Acts Application Act 1970 , which carries a penalty for anybody who offends again the Imperial enactments - - -


GUMMOW J: No, that is a law of the Parliament of New South Wales, is it not?


MR WILSON: Yes. The Supreme Court is in New South Wales.


GUMMOW J: Yes. Controlled by the Supreme Court Act of New South Wales too.


MR WILSON: The Supreme Court Act of New South Wales?


GUMMOW J: Yes. Supreme Court Act.


HAHAHAAHA THAT MR WILSON IS AN IDIOT.

 

[Tom Ruprecht]

 

[hfis]

From today, Canute v Comcare;

MR HANKS: With respect, your Honour must take the whole phrase: “the degree of permanent impairment of an employee resulting from an injury”. In those circumstances, the provisions - - -
GUMMOW ACJ: Your voice falls when you come to the last couple of words.
MR HANKS: What does your Honour read into that?
KIRBY J: That they trouble your inner soul.
MR HANKS: Perhaps my elocution lessons were wasted.

CALLINAN J: Could I suggest this: it would be very easy to make it much clearer.
MR HANKS: I wish I had a dollar for every time a judge has said that to me, your Honour.
CALLINAN J: I would not mind a dollar for every time I have said it.
KIRBY J: You get plenty of dollars. Do not go complaining to us.

 

[Frigid]

perhaps they're cousins, many times jurisdictionally removed.

 

[turtleface]

It is incredibly disturbing that these quotes are considered funny.

Turtleface J: My friends, learning the law has affected your brains...

But then again maybe I'm just uncultured...

Ah here I've found a "humorous Judicial Moment":

Q: What do you call a Lawyer with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honour

 

[hfis]

It is incredibly disturbing that these quotes are considered funny.



But then again maybe I'm just uncultured...

Ah here I've found a "humorous Judicial Moment":

ahahahehehaha i get it ur sense of humour is better than ours fucken hi 5 brah

 

[MoonlightSonata]

What is it with all these non-law randoms coming in and complaining about the nature of our discussions? It's a law forum folks!

 

[turtleface]

sorry lol

But hey, I learn law too, not just Commerce. Its just that I'm a materialistic capitalist and I want a career that yields me a bit more money, so thats probably why I'm not into law as much as you lot. Laws a useful backup and complimenting degree though

but again, sorry for disrupting your discussions and
thanks for not deleting my post this time

 

[Optophobia]

You said "affected your brains" implying 'negatively', yet we know it to have affected our brains 'positively'.

 

[MoonlightSonata]

sorry lol

But hey, I learn law too, not just Commerce. Its just that I'm a materialistic capitalist and I want a career that yields me a bit more money, so thats probably why I'm not into law as much as you lot. Laws a useful backup and complimenting degree though

but again, sorry for disrupting your discussions and
thanks for not deleting my post this time

1. A commerce degree will not guarantee you a higher salary than a law degree.

2. I didn't delete your posts earlier