Is it bad if you sound too basic/concise? (1 Viewer)

[v123]

My essay paragraphs are structured like : Topic sentence, example 1, example 2, example 3, concluding sentence

So in the discovery essay, after each example I link it to the topic but i end up saying "discovery" 4-5 times in each paragraph (~ 30 times in the whole essay). It's kind of 'in your face, I'm writing about discovery!!!' unlike my friends' elegant, sophisticated, complex writing.

Should I try make my paragraphs less 'formulaic' and not be as obvious/concise when I write??

 

[atargainz]

obviously "elegant, sophisticated, complex writing" is preferred, but just do what you can no need to use super big flowery unnecessary words. Choose your words articulately and make sure it flows well, it also helps to know the exact definition of a word before you use it. Nothing is wrong with your structure btw.

 

[Startales]

To be completely honest there's nothing you can do about it now, if you started changing your sentence and essay structure at the beginning of your hsc year then it would've possible to change your writing style. Unless you have memorised an essay, when you go into the hsc exam, your writing style typically won't change unless your consciously thinking about every sentence your writing. Just focus on quotes/techniques/analysis, its better to have a basic essay that gets your point across rather than a eloquent and wordy essay that loses focus on the main point

 

[crowley926]

Try to find synonyms for discovery (or just say renewed perceptions, redefined values etc.) as 4-5 times in each paragraph sounds unnecessarily repetitive. While a basic formulaic structure isn't really bad, overusing words and phrases will annoy your markers.

My teacher for Advanced says clarity will trump sophistication (that doesn't make sense) any day and my teacher for Extension is always deriding that in Advanced, you can always get away with writing formulaic essays ("but not in Extension" she says) so I don't think you'll get marked down for it.

However as with anything make sure that your sentences link to each other, are relevant to the question and the module and support your thesis.

In any case like Startales said, it's a bit late to start editing your essays now. But dw as long as your analysis is solid and pertinent then there's no reason why you wouldn't be doing well.