All good! This is a sample paragraph from a year 12 student and it got full marks. Take note tho its a comparative essay BP, but I think in your case that markers LOVE quotes as its pure evidence. I think if you do 4 from the beginning, then 2 from the middle, then say 4 from the end, but integrating them seamlessly in your anaylisis or whatever as if YOUR speaking the words, you'll get tons of quotes--heres an example just take note tho how they used quotes---
QUESTION
Analyse how Shylock’s monologue represents the perspective of a marginalised and disadvantaged individual.
BODY PARAGRAPH:
CONCEPTUAL TOPIC SENTENCE: An individual who is compelled to experience marginalisation and face disadvantages as a result of their race and religion will inevitably suffer from feelings of trauma. TEXTUAL OUTLINE: This is true of Shylock’s monologue in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice, which provides insight into the reality of the injustices forced upon him as a result of widespread Anti-Sematic beliefs during the Elizabethan era. ANALYTICAL STATEMENT 1: Shylock recounts and expresses how Antonia has “laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, [and] scorned my nation”, where the use of asyndeton and accumulative listing allows the audience to recognise the experiences of discrimination based off religion that he has suffered. ANALYTICAL STATEMENT 2: The audience further gains an understanding Shylock’s situation through his accumulation of properties that defines one’s rights as a human being in “hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions?”, where the use of a rhetorical question demonstrates his persistent frustration at being unjustly treated despite also being just as equally human as any other. ANALYTICAL STATEMENT 3: Furthermore, his repeated use of a rhetorical question when asking “if you prick us, do we not bleed?”, in conjunction with a direct second-person address to the audience, enables consumers to continue grasping Shylock’s experiences and resentment as a result of unjust marginalisation at the hands of a society that normalises Anti-sematic values and behaviours. ANALYTICAL STATEMENT 4: Moreover, his combined use of hypophora and epiphora within “If a Jew wrong a Christian what is his humility? Revenge”, conveys to audiences Shylock’s desire to execute revenge against Antonia and how his hunger to revenge against him is fuelled by his anger caused by being wrongfully mistreated due to prejudicial beliefs. LEARNER REFLECTION: Thus, through his monologue, the audience is positioned to acknowledge the experiences and suffering faced by Shylock because of discriminatory prejudices that were common during the time of writing. LINKING SENTENCE: Therefore, those who are victims of discrimination and marginalisation on the basis of prejudice and Anti-Semitism are led to experience various forms of hatred.
- Topic sentence – engage with the question and reflect on an idea that was offered.
- Textual outline – provides a brief explanation of what is happening in the text.
- Analysis statement 1 – where technique, example, explanation is integrated into ONE sentence.
- Analysis statement 2 – where technique, example, explanation is integrated into ONE sentence.
- Analysis statement 3 – where technique, example, explanation is integrated into ONE sentence.
- Analysis statement 4 – where technique, example, explanation is integrated into ONE sentence.
- Note that explanation must answer two questions:
- Explain the effect of the technique
- Explain the message behind the example.
- Learner reflection – which answers the question: what does the responder learn/understand through this text?
- Linking sentence – use assertive language and the words of the question to show that you have successfully proven your argument.
