Love at first sight vs. falling in love (1 Viewer)

[jellybeenz]

I think you can sort of tell from a one off meeting if the person is a total dickhead or not...

You can. But then there are idiots like me that for some reason ignore first impressions. Then I get hurt when I realise they were dickheads all along and I was just looking for something that wasn't there. Yeah, I know. Stupidity.

Maybe we don't fall in love over time, maybe we just get more and more emotionally attached. So lots of time what we think was love wasnt really love at all but like some sort of getting used to having someone all the time. And real love is actually at first sight when you feel that spark or something. I dunno, I've never really been in love, so I'm prolly just talking crap.

I'm confusing myself...

 

[Sammie Bee]

You can. But then there are idiots like me that for some reason ignore first impressions. Then I get hurt when I realise they were dickheads all along and I was just looking for something that wasn't there. Yeah, I know. Stupidity.

Maybe we don't fall in love over time, maybe we just get more and more emotionally attached. So lots of time what we think was love wasnt really love at all but like some sort of getting used to having someone all the time. And real love is actually at first sight when you feel that spark or something. I dunno, I've never really been in love, so I'm prolly just talking crap.

I'm confusing myself...

No no your not talking crap..i think i sort of think the same thing.

I don't know what i think. I would love to believe in love it for sight and believe that there is someone out there for everyone. But i don't know.

I've had two experiences, with what it think was love..is love..i really don't know, you know how at the time you think your in love, or you think you could be in love with someone...i don't know lol. Anyway back to the story.

A while ago i was with someone. I'd know him for a while, never really talked, but when we did we liked eachother, went out, slowly got to know eachother and...we either fell in love over time or got emotionally closer and attached as you said. I don't know which one it was, i thought and still think i was and maybe still am in love with him. Im not sure if i do love him or it's just cos i was use to him for sooo long.

And, before i met this guy (Nathan, as spoken about above) i met Josh, this was a year before the nathan episode. I was at a friends party, saw him across the road, later on that night, we were half a metre away from eachother facing eachother, we just sort of starred for ages into eachothers eyes, untill someone came and interrupted...yes, like we see on the movies. He had the sort of blue dreamy eyes you could stare into for ever. Anyway, after that i told my friend i really liked him even though we hadn't spoken and he told her he wanted me and wouldn't stop asking questions. Eventually we went out, didn't work. But this was three years ago, we stayed friends, twice when i was with Nathan he told me he still liked me, i had to ignore my feelings cos i wasn't just goin to give up on nath when we had so much and i knew we would get closer, but when it happened the third time, even though i think i still "love" nath..i had to see what could happen with Josh cos i never stopped having feelings for him. That was my small glimps of love it for sight! I don't know whether i love Josh, or Nathan. I know i could have two very different relationships with both. But maybe with nathan i sort of made myself love him or somehting, i didn't like him for a long time even when i was with him. I liked Josh from the first moment! I really don't know. But there's always been more there with Josh for that reason, from the first moment.

What do you think? Who do i love? Lol no one can tell me that, but what do you think?

I think you can make yourself love anyone with enough, committment, acceptance, patience, loyalty etc........

Maybe true love comes from not making yourself love someone one, but when you find that someone that was meant for you............

Will anyone ever know what true love is? Is there any such thing?

Good luck to everyone!

 

[OZGIRL86]

usually in like the first 5mins. u can scope out a person's personality..
usually..

yeh "usually" because sometimes first impressions can be wrong

 

[Sammie Bee]

You can't judge some one on the impression you get in the first five mins! I know myself i give off a different impression to what i am really like. Depends on the day. That guy i was talking about, Nathan, he looked like a total jerk the whole i knew him before i went out with him. Before, when i just assumed he was a dichhead cos of the things he did and said everyday...it wasn't until i took the time to get to know him that i realised there were reasons, things that made him do the things he did. He was really, a kine caring, sweet, big softy. Im still the only who knows what he is really like. He always use to say, i can't help but hide myself from them.

You don't know what has happened to people, or what their lives are really like, you can't make a judgement in a few mins, days, even months.

 

[Sammie Bee]

yeh "usually" because sometimes first impressions can be wrong

First impressions can be very rong

 

[iambored]

edit

 

[Collin]

You can't judge some one on the impression you get in the first five mins! I know myself i give off a different impression to what i am really like. Depends on the day. That guy i was talking about, Nathan, he looked like a total jerk the whole i knew him before i went out with him. Before, when i just assumed he was a dichhead cos of the things he did and said everyday...it wasn't until i took the time to get to know him that i realised there were reasons, things that made him do the things he did. He was really, a kine caring, sweet, big softy. Im still the only who knows what he is really like. He always use to say, i can't help but hide myself from them.

You don't know what has happened to people, or what their lives are really like, you can't make a judgement in a few mins, days, even months.

You can't because often it is wrong of course, but you tend to because that's just the way it is. Psychologists have now recently only acknowledged how important first impressions really are, where an experiment involving male-female interactions concluded that first impressions can make or break a potential future for the two.

The point I'm trying to make is, although first impressions are often wrong, that doesn't avert the fact that it is still extremely important, so always try to convey yourself extremely positively within those first 5 minutes.

 

[thejosiekiller]

You can't because often it is wrong of course, but you tend to because that's just the way it is. Psychologists have now recently only acknowledged how important first impressions really are, where an experiment involving male-female interactions concluded that first impressions can make or break a potential future for the two.

The point I'm trying to make is, although first impressions are often wrong, that doesn't avert the fact that it is still extremely important, so always try to convey yourself extremely positively within those first 5 minutes.

true but u cant always be prepared for a first impression- its fate whether on a good day everything works out the way u want it to and other days ur hair looks shit...

 

[pinkblinkbarbie]

true but u cant always be prepared for a first impression- its fate whether on a good day everything works out the way u want it to and other days ur hair looks shit...

yeah but a person is usually going to look the same....like i mean, if you go down the street and see someone, smoking, wearing dirty ratty clothes, with greasy hair and not smelling too nice, what are you going to think? like yeah they might be a nice person, but you arent going to be attracted to that. and physical attraction is important in rleationships your not friends with people who you acnt stand the sight of, and you dont date people who you find repulsive, its sort of like a law of nature

 

[Collin]

true but u cant always be prepared for a first impression- its fate whether on a good day everything works out the way u want it to and other days ur hair looks shit...

Very true, which is why I always try to look my best when I go out, and converse well with everyone I encounter, so I can minimalise the chances of me stuffing up.. since we only get one shot at the first impression.

 

[pinkblinkbarbie]

100% agreed with

 

[+Po1ntDeXt3r+]

id fall in love with a girl.. if she had a particular scent.. its weird... plus personality obviously but usualli its within the first 10 mins that i meet her..
i kno where its from which disturbs me even more..

otherwise.. nothin realli beats talk

 

[Sammie Bee]

i agree, but one thing i have come to the conclusion of in the last few months is that whatever people are going through they shouldn't be a jerk or make others feel bad.

of course i don't know what it feels like to be in their situation but as an outsider i don't think it's fair they hurt others if they are hurting inside themselves.

could someone please show me otherwise, because i really want this thought to be challenged because for some reason i am always questioning it.

Yes, i agree. But ive been on both sides..ive been the one lashing out at others unfairly and ive also been on the recieving end. At the time when, either my friends were suicidal, having probs at home, or nath having one of his moods cos of somethin that happened, i was thinking the whole time this is so unfair...it made me feel like shit, and it isn't fair when ppl are horrible just cos their having a bad time. But then, when it seems like nothings good in my life i know im not that great to be around, and cos ive been around ppl like that all my life i know what it feels like so i try not to be like them but sometimes it's just hard.

When someone says something horrible to me or snaps...whatever, you know what you were talking about, how you said you don't think it's fair their a jerk and you don't think they should be no matter what their going through. Well, some ppl are just so angry about something, thats all their thinking about and they just lash out, not even thinking about what their saying or doing. Then again, some ppl are just jerks and get satisfaction out of making other ppl feel like shit.

Ohhh, it's a crazy world out there!!!!!!!!

 

[Sammie Bee]

yeah but a person is usually going to look the same....like i mean, if you go down the street and see someone, smoking, wearing dirty ratty clothes, with greasy hair and not smelling too nice, what are you going to think? like yeah they might be a nice person, but you arent going to be attracted to that. and physical attraction is important in rleationships your not friends with people who you acnt stand the sight of, and you dont date people who you find repulsive, its sort of like a law of nature

That's why we all have to try not to judge ppl too much on looks...not many ppl would feel comfortable talking to someone they didn't know of that description!

 

[PookieMonster]

only if its good

DUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[iambored]

edit

 

[flipsyde]

mm which is why i always try and give people more than one chance but if it's ongoing and they are always putting people down it just gets tiring, there's only so much i can take before i decide it's enough. being in a bad mood is one thing, that's uncontrollable, but putting others down is another which i seem to think is sort of controllable.

I ty to give people more than one chance but sometimes its just really hard

 

[table for 1]

i would definitely say i believe in taking the time to fall in love. i mean, that way, you get to know the person and actually develop a realtionship. whereas love at first sight is based purely on a person's physical appearance - which sucks because how about the rest of us who are unfortunately not as genetically blessed?? if you walk into ____ [wherever], and you saw two people - one who 'looks' totally the type of person you would 'want' to date, and the other some kind of nobody that you wouldn't have even noticed if the other was not sitting next to him/her - who would you go up to and talk to first? [given that you had to]. it's all based upon the exterior. and i hate that. i know all of us do that, judge a person by how s/he looks, even i do it, but i hate how it's basically human nature to do so.

i would like to believe that love at first sight does work, because maybe the first time you glance at someone, there's a unexplainable connection or understanding felt - like you feel like you know this person, and that you can trust him/her just by looking into his eyes [yet again, stupid society making a big of a deal of the eyes when they're nothing more than an organ, like the rest of your body parts. but they make it seem so much mroe special]. but then, that idea would be so ...so unexplainable, and unlogical. and so, generally unacceptable. that idea is just too romantic/corny. it just doesn't work. but i think that it would be cool if you could find someone whm you share an instant connection with. however, obviously, you shouldn't rush into things if you were taking it seriously

 

[sped_kid01]

attraction @ 1st sight
u cant love someone from the second u see them as i see it?
i think u have to fall in love, love is such a complex word

 

[meLoncoLLie]

I always end up falling for the people i hated at first sight. it's weird, but it has happened more than 5 times already