• Congratulations to the Class of 2024 on your results!
    Let us know how you went here
    Got a question about your uni preferences? Ask us here

Mark my essay... (1 Viewer)

T

Troy2287

Guest
Ok I came home yesterday and decided to randomly do an essay question from the 2007 HSC paper. I chose and wrote the following. My teacher gave me feedback today, but before I state what his feedback was I would like some other opinions. Thanks! :)

894 words:

Q. Evaluate the impacts of, and responses of people to, environmental change, with reference to at least ONE ecosystem at risk.

Environmental change is a large factor in the workings of an ecosystem, and how they affect and impact the world around them. In an ecosystem, all living organisms and their surroundings work together to keep the biophysical environment functioning. When there is an imbalance in the biophysical environment, for example, too many of one species within the biosphere, it affects the food chain and changes the growth rates of other organisms around it. There are not only natural factors that affect this, but also human factors such as pollution and destruction. Some good examples of where ecosystems have encountered environmental change are the Great Barrier Reef (GBR) and the Stockton sand dunes (SSD) ecosystem. These systems have both impacted on their surroundings and created different responses from different types of people.

The GBR is the largest coral reef in the world. It is located off the east coast of Queensland, and spans some 1200km. With over 32,000 species of different organisms, it can be said that this ecosystem is a particularly diverse one, and is therefore very resilient to any threats thrown at it. However, even the most resilient ecosystems can crumble to nothing, when hit hard enough by environmentally challenging threats. Over the past five years it has been noticed and recorded that coral polyps are slowly dieing off and will soon be rare to find within this ecosystem, due to the nearby farming practices used for sugar cane production. Farmers are using far too much fertiliser for their production and it is draining into the surrounding creeks and rivers, which flow into the GBR. This, along with the continually increasing, breaking up of river banks, is harming and smoothering the coral polyps, resulting in coral bleaching.

The impacts that these bleaching events are having is fairly important, as the reef's survival is under threat. If the reef was to cease existance, it would mean that Queensland's tourism industry world lose between 40% and 60% of its income. A drop this large in tourism world force many local business's to struggle financially, and possibly face bankruptcy. If something to stop the bleaching isn't put in place soon, the Queensland economy is going to find it hard to cope, as over $1billion of their income is form tourism alone. After the experiments conducted by the GBR marine park authority found that this problem is of such a large scale, many local residents and business's have developed strong opinions on the matter.

The GBR is not only important because of its financial value for locals, but also due to its world heritage listing and cultural values for many people. A reef of this size is so significant and special to see because there is nothing else like it anywhere in the world. People have therefore tried to convince farmers to cut back on their fertiliser use (there is already enough fertiliser in their soils to last 30 years) by calling meetings and increasing public awareness. This shows that the response of people to this environmental change has been positive and effective.

The other ecosystem which has been changed and pushed around due to environmental change is the Stockton sand dune ecosystem. Maintained by both Newcastle and Port Stephens local councils, it is a 12km long beach, covering over 30km^2. It has recentley been studied by local organisations and some interesting discoveries have been made. Erosion of the Stockton end, where many locals reside, has been an increasing issue over the past few years. Some beachfront houses are no more then 10-15m away from the waters edge, and it is fast becoming lower. The structure of the beach and of Newcastle harbour has changed how sand is eroded and deposited at different locations. Studies have shown that near these particular houses in Stockton, sand is eroded and carried a few kilometers up the coast where it is deposited (on the same beach). The impact that this is having is that people are becoming concerned and therefore trying to 'flee' from the area, which has resulted in house prices of Stockton falling. The council is of course maintaing the site, but even so, residents are taking matters into their own hands and moving from the area.

The deposition of sand further north on the beach has meant that large build-ups of sand have occurred, resulting in dunes. It is commonly known that over 10,000 years ago, there was a large forest where the dunes now lay. The dunes are still progressing further towards the east and towards civilisation. Some scientists have predicted that the link road between Stockton and Williamtown will cease to exist in another few hundred years, with the dunes expanding up to 5m per year. This will have an impact on local business's and residents, as they will have to commute the longer way around, through Tomago and Hexam. This environmental change shows the impacts of a changing and growing ecosystem.

The impacts and responses of people to environmental change, relating to the two ecosystems at risk discussed above, is certainly an important issue. Imbalances in an ecosystem or human input is what changes the characteristics and functionings of an ecosystem, resulting in the surrounding areas being impacted, and local people responding to these changes by increasing awareness or meeting with other people to fix the causes.
 

Ezzz1990

Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
54
Gender
Male
HSC
2008
I'd give you 12 or 13/20. You've covered the basic parts of the course soundly and your introductory paragraph is pretty good. To improve on your response I'd make the language more sophisticated and remove parts that sound colloquial (e.g. 'thrown at it', 'hit hard', 'crumble to nothing', 'matters into their own hands', and 'pushed around'). In the impacts you generalise a bit at times so try and provide a more concrete and clear example(s) of groups who are managing these impacts. Explain more about your ecosystems and the processes that affect it, use examples of a cause and its effect(s), e.g. humans creating footpaths through the sand dunes can cause a tunnelling effect with winds causing dune blowouts which smothers and kills the vegetation that would otherwise stablise the dunes.
 
Last edited:

expertdkx

B.IT Network Security
Joined
Feb 7, 2007
Messages
114
Location
Canley Heights
Gender
Male
HSC
2008
Uni Grad
2014
Q. Evaluate the impacts of, and responses of people to, environmental change, with reference to at least ONE ecosystem at risk.

for me i'll answer:

the impacts and the responses of the people in relations to environmental change is very visible in the GBR.

the impact of GBR with the response of tourism is a major impact to cause environmental change as the GBR is listed in the WHL thus encouraging tourism will dramatically increase the rate of environmental change however if the tourism economy was based on ecotourism then it may perhaps reduced the impacts of the GBR with the environmental change.

the response of the people is also a major key factor as they have the right to protect, preserve, conserve the environment with minimal impact but under the cause of tourism this form of protection is not avialable however promotions, posters and bill board or perhaps multimedia will engages the tourists to learn more from ecotouring rather than causing destruction to the environment.

overall the impact in response to human induced threats caused alot of issues especially the GBR where it is sacred to the marine life but human don't utilise it effeciently however placed more threats through tourism instead they may consider ecotourism.
 

henry08

Active Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2008
Messages
1,174
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
I'd give you about 14/20. You start off very strongly although then get lost in the second parapgh and fial to adequately convey the points you are putting across. You are not answering the question successfully, and need to try to effectively 'asnwer it' as this is what the markers are looking for.

Your language starts out well, so try to retain this level of fluidity throughout the essay. Good work :)
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top