Monty Python (merged) (1 Viewer)

[stalk_if_u_dare]

Knights of Camelot: [singing] "We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. / We're knights of the Round Table, our shows are for-mi-dable. But many times we're given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able, We're opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot. / In war we're tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable / It's a busy life in Camelot
[solo]
Knight of Camelot: I have to push the pram a lot."

Minstrel: [singing] "Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecap split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis split..."

Minstrel: [singing] "Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away away. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by brave Sir Robin"

I love the songs!

 

[psychosuperfly]

MONTY PYTHON shout out

It could be carried by an African swallow........

Any pythons out there?
I must say at my school there arn't a large amount of fans, however half my ancient class and my ancient teacher every lesson quote skits constantly.
It's a wonder that we get any work done at all
During assessments i can't help myself but use monty python as a related text or in some instances in an exam.
Quite recently i ended an english assessment transcript with "Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!"
At the end of the day it cheers me up.

 

[jebbie]

I <3 it. As some other BoSers do. Im sure there had been many threads about it before. So I suggest a search next time :\

 

[ariande]

Arthur - "old woman!"

Peasant Man - "man"

A - "man sorry. what knight lives in that castle over there?"

PM - "i'm 37"

A - "what?"

PM - "i'm 37 i'm not old"

A - "well i can't just call you man"

PM - "well you could say dennis"

A - "well i didn't know you were called dennis"

PM - "well you didn't bother to find out did you?"

A - "look i did say sorry about the old woman thing, but from behind you looked..."

PM - "what i object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior"

A - "well i am king"

PM - "oh king aye, very nice. and how'd you get that aye? by exploiting the workers! by 'anging on to outdated imperious dogma, which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. if there's ever going to be any progress..."

Peasant Woman - "dennis there's some lovely filth down here... OOH. how'd you do?"

A - "how do you do good lady. i am arthur, king of the britains. whose castle is that?

PW - "king of the who?"

A - "the britains."

PW - "who are the britains?"

A - "well we all are. we are all britains. and i am your king"

PW - "i didn't know we had a king. i thought we were an autonomous collective"

PM - "thats where you're fooling yourself! we're living in a dictatorship! a self perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes..."

PW - "oh there you go, bringing class into it again"

PM - "well thats what it's all about! if only people would listen!"

A - "PLEASE! please good people, i am in haste. who lives in that castle?"

PW - "well no one lives there"

A - "then who is your lord"

PW - "we don't have a lord."

A - "what?"

PM - "i told you, we're an anarcho syndicalist commune. we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week..."

A - "i see"

PM - "...and all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting..."

A - "be quiet"

PM - ..."by a civil majority in the case of purely internal affairs..."

A - "be QUIET!"

PM - "or by two thirds majority in the case of..."

A - "BE QUIET! i ORDER you to be quiet!"

PW - "order him, who does he think he is?"

A - "i am your king!"

PW - "well i didn't vote for you!"

A - "you don't vote for kings!"

PW - "well how'd you become king then?"

A - "the lady of the lake... her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft excalibur from the bosom of the water. signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry excalibur. THAT is why i am your king."

PM - "listen, strange women, lying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses not from some farsicle aquatic ceremony!"

A - "BE QUIET"

PM - "you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!"

A - "SHUT UP!"

PM - "i mean if i went 'round, saying i was an emperor just because some moisened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away"

A - "SHUT UP will you SHUT up!"

PM - "OH! now we see the violence inherint in the system!"

A - "SHUT UP!"

PM - "come and see the violence inherint in the system! help, help! i'm being repressed!

A - "bloody peasants!"

PM - "OOOh what a give away. did you hear that, did you see him repressing me? you saw it didn't you!"

 

[Ennaybur]

ecstatic spanish inquisition and the lady in the swamp wer finally mentioned .

you are all unique
we are all unique
you are all different
we are all different
im not
shhh

wat about : oh lord , u are SO big, so very big.... cant remmeber the rest word for word so i wont dessicate it lol


oh i LOVE them .. find me a nice MP obsessed boy and we can settle down and have MP quoting children ... *sigh* one day...

 

[sp0ntane0us]

Fave Monty Python moment:

In Holy Grail when Lancelot is running up to the Swamp Castle. How he keeps running up but doesn't get any closer... classic.

And then there's the scene with the Constitutional peasants. "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" ...lol.

 

[sp0ntane0us]

Forgot about this one...

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy!
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No,
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: ...yelloooooowww...
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

 

[spiny norman]

Brian > Holy Grail

 

[newmz89]

I love balls hey.