Not-That-Bright said:
But what constitutes a 'stupid' reason?
Can you just... not feel like it one day, but he says 'that's not a good enough reason! we got married! sex is my right!' and that's not rape?
Rape in marriage, goes against Islamic teachings, and the etiquettes and good relations between a wife and husband. A husband can not, force his wife into having sex!
"...Why would a man rape his wife? Strangely enough, it is not due to a wife's withholding of sex which is the most common myth. Most women who report being raped by their husbands also report having consensual sexual intercourse with them. If the offender is not deterred by social conventions against hitting and punching, he will probably not be inhibited by social conventions against forcing sex either. "
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Physical abuse between husband and wife, also goes against the teachings of Islam (just a side note).
As
Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:
"The relations between the spouses should be based on tranquility, love and mercy. Allah says, "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (al-Rum 30:21) "
The ideal Marriage between Husband and wife, constitues of the following three concepts: Love, Mercy and Tranquility
Dr Muzammil H. Siddiqi adds:
"...It is the duty of the husband and wife to see that they are a source of comfort and tranquility for each other. They should do everything physically, emotionally and spiritually to make each other feel happy and comfortable. They must care for each other. They should not inflict any harm or injury, neither physically nor verbally, to each other. In order to increase the tranquility and comfort in their relations and in their home, they should love each other and should have mercy and kindness for each other. Loving and merciful relationship is an important ingredient of a good marriage and good family life."
The factors Sly fly has pointed out are very important. Since Islam forbids fornication, Adultery and Masturbation, one can only achieve sexual plessure with his wife or her husband.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) has gone so far as to teaching his Ummah (Muslim nation) the etiquettes of sexual relationships between husband and wife. A good book to read would be "Healing with the medicine of the Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) " which includes teachings in regards to the scientific benefits of a good sexual relationship, as well as the benefits of sex, in maintaining the good health of a married couple.
In regards to the husband having the right to sex, there are conditions and guidelines, as have been stated previously by others, but for more clarification, read on if u will:
"As for the husband’s right to sexual access and its conditions,
Sheikh Ibn al-`Uthaymin, the well-known Saudi scholar, adds:
“It is obligatory upon the wife to respond to her husband if he calls her to his bed. However, if she is psychologically ill and is not able to actively respond to his call or if she has a physical illness, then in such cases it is not allowed for the husband to call upon her. This is because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "There is to be no harm done or reciprocation of harm." He should either refrain or enjoy her company in such a way that does not harm her.”
"...The husband should not deny himself to his wife and the wife also should not deny herself to her husband. They should do their best to satisfy their marriage partner. Even during the menses or post childbirth bleeding, when intercourse is forbidden, husband and wife can be together and can enjoy affection and intimacy in other ways. " "
The following Fatwa (ruling) was issued by the eminent Muslim Scholar,
Sheikh Muhammad Al-Hanooti, member of the North American Fiqh Council:
"Intimacy should be a matter of etiquette and courtesy, not a matter of abstract desire. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, as `Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her narrates, used to have good foreplay and fondling and the like so that a spouse should be in the mood to have intimacy. What the Hadith means is that a wife should respond positively. Man should never jump to the extent of forcing his wife, but she should show no arrogance or hatred or denial when it comes to her appreciation and respect of her husband. Her denial to intimacy usually should give a hint to the husband that she is not physically or emotionally ready for that.
The husband should be of good reason and understand her situation. The husband should show almost the same response, and the same etiquette, if the wife hints to desiring intimacy with him..."
Extracted from
www.islamonline.net (Fatwa Bank) with slight modification!