Mutual Best Mates (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Firefly05
- Start date
grk_styl
is hating uni & study
- Joined
- May 29, 2003
- Messages
- 4,212
- Gender
- Undisclosed
- HSC
- 2004
if a girl and guy have the chance of being together in the future and thus they are "on a break", then you'd be nuts to go out with his best friend. and vice versa of course.
isn;t there a rule that states don't go out with ur ex's best mates or ur best mate's ex?
sloppy seconds!
isn;t there a rule that states don't go out with ur ex's best mates or ur best mate's ex?
sloppy seconds!
FoodForThought
Member
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2005
- Messages
- 223
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2005
depends on the situation... if you reckon givin it anothr chance would work, then dont do anything to screw it over. If you reckon its gonna end the same way, then theres no rule about going out with an ex's best friend...
Mind you.. i had that kinda incident... it ended really really shit for all parties... dont do it unless you have to
Mind you.. i had that kinda incident... it ended really really shit for all parties... dont do it unless you have to
SilveryNightsky
Member
What he said. But personally I wouldn't go near that situation at all. Crushes come and go. Not risking the potential to break the bond of two best mates + the chance of getting back with the boyfriend for that. That's uh... how to put it...FoodForThought said:depends on the situation... if you reckon givin it anothr chance would work, then dont do anything to screw it over. If you reckon its gonna end the same way, then theres no rule about going out with an ex's best friend...
Mind you.. i had that kinda incident... it ended really really shit for all parties... dont do it unless you have to
stupid.
SlaminSammy
Member
If... You are becoming increadibly attracted to your ex's best friend, and you are not sure whether you should go out with him because he makes your hearth throb with strong sexual and aggressive emotions, or not go out with him because you feel it is "ethically" or religioslly, etc INCORECT... You need to venture outside the little donut shaped reality of your current life and just stick your toe in the water of the larger world and really just experience life alittle more. Ok... SO.. yes he may definately be a catch and may be a REAL man (i really stress on that) and you may be attracted to him, BUT... while your chasing his tale for him, there very quite possibly will be a man just around the corner that your not really noticing. You may not be there when that opportunity comes along?....Now this is my point of view and nothing to tie you down over... but it is really just the sort of thing you wanted to hear... some good advice --> yes it is allittle paradoxical as its not the answer you were dying to hear... but it is a consideration.
However...i am going to take your (go out /be involved) as a relationship type inteaction and not simply friendship... and in that case, it is a decision that you are going to have to take... to find the answer you really NEED.
P.S. If your on a break with your bf (I really dont see the point - to me it says I dont feel anything when im aroud you!!!!) and your digging his best friend... Why stay unhappy and sit at home for hours on end ripping your hair out and tying it in knots, if your bound to this guy your not sure about?
However...i am going to take your (go out /be involved) as a relationship type inteaction and not simply friendship... and in that case, it is a decision that you are going to have to take... to find the answer you really NEED.
P.S. If your on a break with your bf (I really dont see the point - to me it says I dont feel anything when im aroud you!!!!) and your digging his best friend... Why stay unhappy and sit at home for hours on end ripping your hair out and tying it in knots, if your bound to this guy your not sure about?
Thanks that advice is good.
The best mate is most definatly mutual (unfortunatly now we were all friends before anything else). I still feel for x but it got too serious for a first long term relationship and after that experience I'm not positive that he's the 'one' and he feels the same.
I wouldn't think of going after the mate except that I was asked not too - which means there are insecurities on x behalf. On the other hand I am really enjoying some new found freedom to fish.
The best mate is most definatly mutual (unfortunatly now we were all friends before anything else). I still feel for x but it got too serious for a first long term relationship and after that experience I'm not positive that he's the 'one' and he feels the same.
I wouldn't think of going after the mate except that I was asked not too - which means there are insecurities on x behalf. On the other hand I am really enjoying some new found freedom to fish.
SlaminSammy
Member
lol Good work Firefly... Being free is great as long as you enjoy! Enjoy being able to flirt with cute guys or talking to one of those dreamy bad boys you read about in romance novels - i take pride in the fact that i am able to enjoy life and all it throws at me. So keep that up no matter what~!
Ive read many things about finding "the one" and spoken to many people about it... and from all the points of view ive heard, in my mind you should know if hes "the one" pretty early on in the relationship... but then again, some people build thick brick walls around their personality to hide their real self (Which in the case usually comes out eventually). This is often the cause of many divorces. BUT i am sure ull be able to seperate the diamonds from the coal!
Ive been in a few relationships and it took time to find myself a girl that was really worth my time, (im talking about dating several girls just to find one that i was interested in), and i do understand where your comming from with a relationship that was TOO serious. ive been there, and sabotaged my own relationships with good looking girls before.
Lastly i hope that you sort of whatever dilemas you still have, that you enjoy yourself and your silly "FISHING"
Ive read many things about finding "the one" and spoken to many people about it... and from all the points of view ive heard, in my mind you should know if hes "the one" pretty early on in the relationship... but then again, some people build thick brick walls around their personality to hide their real self (Which in the case usually comes out eventually). This is often the cause of many divorces. BUT i am sure ull be able to seperate the diamonds from the coal!
Ive been in a few relationships and it took time to find myself a girl that was really worth my time, (im talking about dating several girls just to find one that i was interested in), and i do understand where your comming from with a relationship that was TOO serious. ive been there, and sabotaged my own relationships with good looking girls before.
Lastly i hope that you sort of whatever dilemas you still have, that you enjoy yourself and your silly "FISHING"
Although breaking up is a horrible thing to go through, I'm now sure that its for the better. I have done things in the past week that I havn't done since before I was 'tied down'. I have had time to think about what I want for myself and future relaitonships and decided that the most important thing is I don't loose the aspects of my personality which are random and fun because I'm in a relatiship.
The best mate is probably a no go. If I were to have romantic affairs with all my male friends I don't think I'd have any friends left. That said, I'll keep my options open and see what happens.
What do people think about the theory that opposites attract and make good relationships? I seem to think an almost opposite is the way to remain an individual in a relationship and not become a relationshp.
Also is it possible to remain friends with an x? or is it a matter of going sour before it gets sweeter?
The best mate is probably a no go. If I were to have romantic affairs with all my male friends I don't think I'd have any friends left. That said, I'll keep my options open and see what happens.
What do people think about the theory that opposites attract and make good relationships? I seem to think an almost opposite is the way to remain an individual in a relationship and not become a relationshp.
Also is it possible to remain friends with an x? or is it a matter of going sour before it gets sweeter?
FoodForThought
Member
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2005
- Messages
- 223
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2005
Definately opposites attract... my ex is the complete opposite to me except in some music tastes and age. It was really good while it workedFirefly05 said:
Definately a matter of going sour before it gets better... for me and my ex there was the initial distancing... then the kinda becoming friends again. Then she went ape shit on me and now were friends again
oh well.. whatever works