Not Being Able To Feel Butterflies. (1 Viewer)

[ur_inner_child]

maybe you're subconsciously not over your long term relationship??

no not really

remember the time that we were hanging out with tom/ashton/dan etc? By then i was already looking elsewhere.

 

[katykins]

no not really

remember the time that we were hanging out with tom/ashton/dan etc? By then i was already looking elsewhere.

oh.

hm.. i think maybe just saturate yourself with women and concentrate on other things that are important to you ie study, work etc.
cant be expected to miss something before its gone, right?

 

[Rhanoct]

i don't know you or anything about your relationship... but it sounds like, subconsciously, you're still not over your past relationship- OR you don't think anything else can match it and so you scrap them before they even begin.

no offence of course

 

[tehrobzorz]

you're numb from it all..take a break chillax and eventually you'll feel like you need someone. but otherwise...

The science of romance: Brains have a love circuit

 

[ur_inner_child]

This is probably useless writing some "endnote" in a thread, but I've always found it frustrating when I search up threads for common problems (where it be academic, social, whatever etc) and it never being resolved. Maybe someone later will search up the reason why the feel so numb in romantic relationships, and want to know what it is that's causing it?

So I've had a history of abuse in my family. I started dealing with it properly recently by seeing the same professional who encouraged me to leave my parents in the first place.

Turns out I've left this memory in the back of my mind for years, and it merely came back up again when one of the biggest romantic relationships of my life crumbled. And then my first rebound was very selfish. Therefore I would have a perception of what a relationship (romantic or not) should be, and only get disappointed. I've become really frightened about it. And it explains why sometimes, despite having the best support network ever; friends who love me unconditionally, why I feel ridiculously alone and depressed, despite having several good people around me and nothing in life to complain about. And the reason why is because I keep an arms length from everyone so I don't get disappointed. It's like "oh, well you weren't that close anyway". But when you have your armor on, you don't feel BOTH the good and bad stuff in life.

I've spent the last 7 months rebounding. I've also started feeling tiny butterflies for someone at work, and as a result, I'm quitting my job instead of pursuing anything at all. I'm not even letting myself feel butterflies, despite wanting them. I'm scared shitless of being connected with someone only to get disappointed... but I want to connect all the same.

Just working it out. Logically I know I'm being silly, just my emotions tell me I'm not really ready for anything because I don't trust people, or am afraid to be let down. Time will probably heal I guess. First is to trust my friends properly.