HumanDichotomy
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I know!danggg thats harsh
They also never let her go out to parties and stuff - ever. I invited her to my 18th, and she said she hadn't even bothered asking her parents whether she could go, because she knew they'd say no.
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Parental expectations... (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter HumanDichotomy
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They also never let her go out to parties and stuff - ever. I invited her to my 18th, and she said she hadn't even bothered asking her parents whether she could go, because she knew they'd say no.
My parents are from Bangladesh too, but not as pushy as the one described above.
But I'm glad my parents have a high expectation of me. in year 8-10 i started hanging around the wrong people, i had no interest in learning and thought "being hard" was going to get me through life.
But my parents showed me reality and a lot of life lessons, and changed my enough to make it into uni!. so I'm glad of their high expectations.
But I'm glad my parents have a high expectation of me. in year 8-10 i started hanging around the wrong people, i had no interest in learning and thought "being hard" was going to get me through life.
But my parents showed me reality and a lot of life lessons, and changed my enough to make it into uni!. so I'm glad of their high expectations.
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scarybunny
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My parents do have high expectations of me, but that's because I've always done well in school and uni.
They trust me to make my own choices, and don't care what I do with my life as long as I'm happy.
They're fair awesome =)
They trust me to make my own choices, and don't care what I do with my life as long as I'm happy.
They're fair awesome =)
When I was in year 12 my parents were pretty demanding i.e. sending me to tutoring. I rebelled hardcore and got into trouble at school, would go out all night and not tell them where I was, etc lol.
They learnt to back off though when I was picking a uni course. I absolutely lost the plot at them when they were recommending me courses to study. Now my parents are pretty laid back...
btw I'm asian. Maybe you kids should tell your pushy parents to get fucked and lose it at them. It worked for me.
They learnt to back off though when I was picking a uni course. I absolutely lost the plot at them when they were recommending me courses to study. Now my parents are pretty laid back...
btw I'm asian. Maybe you kids should tell your pushy parents to get fucked and lose it at them. It worked for me.
scarybunny
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Yeah I think too many asian kids let their parents control their life, especially when it comes to uni courses. You're deciding what career you're going to do, you can't let your parents live vicariously through you forever.
Doing what you want with your life will make you happy. Doing what your parents want you to do will not.
Doing what you want with your life will make you happy. Doing what your parents want you to do will not.
melsc
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+ 1. My parents are similar. They actually said 'are you sure you want to do law, its hard to get into and hard work" they were concerned I would be disapointed if I didnt make it.
I went to a school filled with people who's parents made their HSC subject and uni course decisions, almost all of them are either unhappy, have changed courses or failed because it wasnt what they wanted to do.
scarybunny
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Yeah you need your own motivation to get through a uni course and to do something as a career.
Your parents being happy with you is not going to get you through those tough days at work or at uni.
Your parents being happy with you is not going to get you through those tough days at work or at uni.
melsc
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Especially when your course is 5 years, even enjoying it doesn't always keep you going...bleh one more year!
Exactly. The course you do at uni should be your choice alone.
Practically everyone in my family are engineers. They all love maths. I hate maths and despised my parents after they made me choose maths as a HSC subject. I'm a humanities/arts type person which no one in my family seemed to understand.
Obviously they wanted me to do engineering at uni. I ended up doing law (which IMO is prestigious anyway). Apparently in many asian countries lawyers aren't respected?
what is with all these controlling parents? they sound like kidnappers of social and educational freedom
I rekon lots of pressure is brought on by ourselves but we can mistake it for our parents feelings.
i dunno if that makes sense, but that's how it is for me.
but yeah, I do think that heaps mentioned so far sound pretty controlling.
But in the end, it's your own decisions and when they see how happy you are doing what you wanted to they *should* be happy too. but it's not really simple as that?
anyhoooooooooooooo
I rekon lots of pressure is brought on by ourselves but we can mistake it for our parents feelings.
i dunno if that makes sense, but that's how it is for me.
but yeah, I do think that heaps mentioned so far sound pretty controlling.
But in the end, it's your own decisions and when they see how happy you are doing what you wanted to they *should* be happy too. but it's not really simple as that?
anyhoooooooooooooo
HumanDichotomy
Member
Some expectations of parents are obviously important in helping you make the right decisions. I know my parents would also try their best to help me if I started hanging with 'the wrong people'.My parents are from Bangladesh too, but not as pushy as the one described above.
But I'm glad my parents have a high expectation of me. in year 8-10 i started hanging around the wrong people, i had no interest in learning and thought "being hard" was going to get me through life.
But my parents showed me reality and a lot of life lessons, and changed my enough to make it into uni!. so I'm glad of their high expectations.
HumanDichotomy
Member
Yeah that was how it was for me. I put way more pressure on myself academically than my parents did. They just pressured me in other ways. Lol.
^CoSMic DoRiS^^
makes the woosh noises
I have lenient white parents so there's never been any pressure to do anything really...the only "expectations" they had were that I would go to uni (which I wanted to do anyway) and that I keep myself employed for the duration - which I also want to do since the alternative is to be a penniless hobo.
They didnt care what uni course I did or what job I got as long as I went to uni and had a job, fullstop. Half my extended family are massive failures at life so I guess my parentals just raised their own kids with higher expectations.
It kinda helped that I'm reasonably smart though. If I'd been a clear dumbass they'd probably have just been happy to see me graduate high school. They have a thing about reaching potential or something I guess.
They didnt care what uni course I did or what job I got as long as I went to uni and had a job, fullstop. Half my extended family are massive failures at life so I guess my parentals just raised their own kids with higher expectations.
It kinda helped that I'm reasonably smart though. If I'd been a clear dumbass they'd probably have just been happy to see me graduate high school. They have a thing about reaching potential or something I guess.
adriano_negr0
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my parents dont make me study but they expect me to work and do well
ilikebeeef
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Really? I thought typical Asian parents value education over money.
My parents don't care (or at least they say that) what I want to be as long as I'm happy with it, safe, secure and can support myself without their help. But I know inside, she is typically Asian - goes on praising people who do law and medicine when I've specified that don't want to do either of them!
EDIT: They do care about my marks though.
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My parents do have expectation of me, but they dont force me into anything. They always tell me to go what I am happy with, but I know for a fact - they would be a lot more happier if I did Medicine. I wouldnt mind either, I like Medicine.
Problem is though, I am not a 988/99.95 smart arse. The most I could come up with will be around 92-ish.
Problem is though, I am not a 988/99.95 smart arse. The most I could come up with will be around 92-ish.
Omie Jay
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dad: get a job that earns you lots of money and where you're a manager of some sort, you manage people, not people manage you.
hence im studying engineering.
hence im studying engineering.
emiliieee
Batman.
my dad says that to me too
atm1991
Member
Mine as well haha, but aside from that he was totally happy with me doing whatever I wantedmy dad says that to me too
emiliieee
Batman.
same here. my parents are asian. end of story.
they tell me whatever i do they will support me and they tell me to do what makes me happy and think it's a good idea then go for it.
by the time i do that or my brother does that. no, not good enough. they'll always find a way to say something to make me feel bad or stupid. or both. ftw.