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Rules for Customers (1 Viewer)

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Guess what
Woolworths does not take foreign currency. Alternatively we do not take 1c coins.
I told you this last week, I have not changed my mind.
Stupid foreigners with 1c coins.
 
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When i tell you we are sold out of all geometry sets, display folders and anything else kids need for school i mean SOLD OUT! its not my fault ur parents are dickheads and decided to come school shopping 15mins before our store closes and school starts tommorow!!!

grrrrrr makes me so angry!
 

Evilo

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#1 Rule for customers - Dont ask stupid questions - i.e. Do you sell beer?

Answers to commonly asked questions (FAQ)
* No we dont stock absinthe with woodworm - i just told you it was illegal - no i can't order it in
* I dont care if you're 19, i asked for ID
* A school id with the DOB scratched off won't suffice
* Yes the price of that product is written below it....amazing
* No i don't set the prices
* No you cant heckle me about lowering the price
* 25% off (6 bottles of) white wine applies to white wine only, dont abuse me when you buy 6 bottles of red because you couldn't read.
* When the door is locked, the store is closed - this means you cannot buy anything. I'm not going to open up just for you even if you say one of the following comments;
a) Just one item
b) i know what i'm going to get
c) i'll just be a minute
d) But we're having a party
e) I'll be spending heaps of money
f) i'll tip you
g) but Dan Murphy's is closed
 
K

katie_tully

Guest
Motherfucker, I've had enough of people.
I've worked in fast food, admin, as a dental nurse and now in health. These are my motherfucking rules and I swear to god I've nearly reached my limit!

FAST FOOD (if I were still working in fast food)
- When I tell you the extra toppings are 30c each, don't stare at me like I'm a fucking greedy bank manager. I don't set the prices, I just enforce them. It's clearly written on the board anyway, what makes you exempt?!
- No I don't have an infinite amount of coin change, why the fuck would you buy something for $2.50 with a $50 note? What the fuck is wrong with going and getting the note broken?
- I don't care if you've had a shitty day. Don't tell me.
If you work at Subway and your name is Kate this rule applies to you from me, the customer:
- I know the manager. I don't want to listen to what an asshole he is while you mangle my fucking sammich. Nor do any of the other customers. Nobody gives a shit that you have to work on a Friday!

For Career Big W chicks from Me
- The lady at the door is going to check my pram as I leave anyway. You don't need to yell across the store for somebody to check my pram, which 99% of the time is empty anyway. Fuck off and get a real job.
- When I sign for something with my credit card, why stare at my signature for 6 minutes? Signatures aren't meant to be identicle. FFS

For people booking dentist appointments
- Don't tell me you've had a sore tooth for three weeks and that you want an appointment today. If you've had the tooth for three fucking weeks, why didn't you make the appointment three weeks ago?
- I don't care how much pain you're in. If I can't fit you in, I can't fit you in. There arent an infinite amount of hours in the day especially for assholes.
- If you fail to attend for an appointment because you're useless, don't ring me an hour later and demand to get back in that day.
- Don't abuse me over how much it costs. I don't set the rate.

Health System
- you're not the only person who wants to see our one dietitian/speech pathologist/OT/etc. You will wait your freaking turn and no you cannot dictate when your appointment will be.
- It's not my job to chase you up for your appointments. If you miss your appointment you will WAIT UNTIL THERE IS ANOTHER ONE AVAILABLE.
- If I tell you a person is busy, IT MEANS THEY'RE BUSY. THEY WILL CALL YOU BACK WHEN THEY'RE AVAILABLE.
- if I tell you we no longer offer a service, IT'S BECAUSE WE NO LONGER OFFER A SERVICE. Just because it was offered 2 years ago DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OFFERED NOW.
- If one of the staff don't ring you back it probably means THEY HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE.
- If you ring and I tell you somebody will call back, LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WONT BE HOME. People generally do call you back but you're not home.
God that shits me, especially when I say 'X will call you back, will you be home all day?'
'No, I wont'
- I ASK YOU YOUR MEDICARE NUMBER FOR A REASON. IT'S SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR SHIT. I CAN'T GET YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION FROM YOUR MEDICARE CARD.
- If you desperately want to speak to somebody and the only number available is a mobile phone, CALL THE FREAKING MOBILE OR WAIT UNTIL THEYRE BACK
- if you come in and want to see somebody who is not available, don't sit and wait for 20 minutes and whinge. I SAID THEY'RE NOT AVAILABLE

Fucking hell, I hope the human race dies out really soon.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
K

katie_tully

Guest
Oh and you know what really fucking shits me and makes my job hell?

'Hello I would like to speak to X'
'X is not here, can I take a message'
'Yes my name is Elizabeth, I am one of his clients. I need him to write me another referral'
'What is your surname and your phone number?'
'You don't need to know that'


Who the fuck just leaves their first name, no last name and no number. I don't give a shit what your name is, fucking hell.
 

jodi..1

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I work at woolworths, some people understand the pre-swipe, some people don't. I'm happy to explain it if you don't yell at me. For those who don't know:
1. swipe card
2. select account
3. even if you selected credit you must choose the sale amount (by pressing the cheque button) or other amount (by pressing the credit button)
Some people just don't get step 3 so I ask if they want cash out, they say no, I say "ok thats just the sale amount here above the cheque button, so I'll push chq". Then 9/10 times, "but I'm not paying with cheque!". I then try and explain and they continue to think I've fucked up. I'm working here, I know how it works, just trust me. Some people like to get abusive though, like one bitch last night.

I press the cheque button, while explaining why I am.
Bitch: BUT I'M PAYING WITH CREDIT
Me: Yes I know so you want the sale amount which means I press the cheque button
Bitch: BUT I DON'T WANT TO PAY WITH CHEQUE, I'M PAYING WITH CREDIT
Me: I know that but I need to press the cheque button
Bitch: ...I'M PAYING WITH CREDIT
I then ignore her till the 'key pin or press enter' message comes up on screen, clearly stating OR.
Bitch: I DON'T WANT TO KEY MY PIN, I WANT TO PRESS ENTER
Me (through very tightly gritted teeth): Then press enter, thats why IT SAYS OR PRESS ENTER

Ahh I know the pre-swipe is confusing at first but just trust that I know what I'm doing!!!

I had to whinge. /rant
 
K

katie_tully

Guest
I know how to use the pre swipe function, more often than not though the cashier doesnt and I'm having to swipe twice.

I get annoyed with the old cashiers who feel they need to explain how to use EFTPOS step by step, and by the time they get to 'enter your pin' the transaction is already processing.
Do I look like I need to be told how to use it?

duoigfi
 

Lizakith

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I used to hate people who swiped their cards the wrong way, even after I say to them "Just the other way around, please" and indicate with my hands which way their card goes. And people who would question me when I told them that.
"Really? Are you sure its that way?"
No, I do this for 9 hours a day and I don't fucking know which way the swipe goes.
 
K

katie_tully

Guest
Lizakith said:
I used to hate people who swiped their cards the wrong way, even after I say to them "Just the other way around, please" and indicate with my hands which way their card goes. And people who would question me when I told them that.
"Really? Are you sure its that way?"
No, I do this for 9 hours a day and I don't fucking know which way the swipe goes.
Haha. And there is even a diagram on the machine showing which way the strip needs to face. :(
 

Lizakith

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Tbh, those diagrams confuse me =/
I used to hate customers who would insist on doing the swiping and all on their own, then they'd stand there for 10 minutes staring at me, until I realised they hadn't pressed OK after entering their pin, or pressing credit.
 

Evilo

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What ticks me off the most is when you swipe a customers card and you ask 'cheque, saving or credit' and they TELL YOU THE WRONG ONE! OMG how stupid can they be to get their own credit card account wrong.
 

Lizakith

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OK, so we have a hardware repair contract with HP, yeah? Do they really need 10 different people to call us back, within a day of us logging a call, to either double check the info we've given, or to 'update' us? Its frustrating and pointless.

Another thing, we give them our reference number so when they call, we don't have to search through all our cases to find wtf they're talking about, so you'd think they could give them to us.
 
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The coupon you've brought me says 'Any New Release movie for $1.95.'
That is what you will get. any New Release MOVIE. You'll notice that it does not say 'movieS'. It is a single movie. I know we used ot have coupons that allowed more than one movie. This is not one of them. I know this because we no longer use those coupons. Deal with it. Dont tell me you're not coming back here then. Not my problem. I'll still be working, just dealing with one less person who can't read.

It's a public holiday. Don't winge that our prices are increased. All our price and special signs say 'excludes public holidays'. We're not doing this to rip you off. We're doing it so that we can make enough money to cover the wages of the staff working [at public holiday rates - double time and a half], because unfortunately not everyone gets the day off to sit around watching movies. Same goes for not accepting coupons. It costs more for the store to be open, so we have to pass that on in our prices. Yes I'm sure that the coupon is not valid on public holidays. Don't tell me it doesnt say that anywhere, because i will direct you to the fine print at the bottom which you're conveniently covering with your thumb, and show you the 'Not valid on Public Holidays' text.

If i have to put you on hold for 40 seconds, please don't winge. I've apologised for the wait, but there's little i can do about it. If i'm the only person working and there is a long line of customers, i will answer the phone as soon as i have finished the person i'm currently serving. I understand that you called so you wouldnt have to wait, but you're still being allowed to push in front of 10+ people. Don't be greedy.

A $100 note for a $2.50 purchase at closing time is just plain stupid. sure i'll put the sale through, but you're going to get your change mainly in $2 coins, because I don't keep enough note change for $100 right on closing time.

You heard me announce that 'we're closing in 20 minutes'. Then 'we're closing in 15 minutes'. Then 'we're closing in 10 minutes'. and of course 'We're closing in 5 minutes'. You still chose to play on the arcade games rather than using your final 20 minutes ot select movies. Don't sound surprised when i tell you 'We're closing now, it's too late to purchase anything, i'll have to ask you to leave now'. You had ample warning.

Why do i need all those details to join you up? Because you're trying to borrow $100+ worth of movies. We like to know exactly who's got our movies and how to get in contact with them before we let you.

Please don't bring every item up to me and ask me to 'confirm' the price. If it has a $9.95 sticker on it, and was on the $9.95 table, then i will look at it and tell you 'It's $9.95'. Now, wasn't that a waste of time for both of us?

Your house may have been robbed, and the movies you borrowed from us stolen, but someone will have to pay us the replacement cost for them. Since at the time of the robbery you were responsible for them [and have acknowledged this in the membership form you signed, then you will need to pay the replacement cost. Your insurance may cover this, but it is not our responsibility to chase it up, it's yours.
 

Captain Gh3y

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Evilo said:
What ticks me off the most is when you swipe a customers card and you ask 'cheque, saving or credit' and they TELL YOU THE WRONG ONE! OMG how stupid can they be to get their own credit card account wrong.
meh
i like the ones who press cheque/savings and then go "ummm..." and you have to wait 15 minutes for them to call their partner so they can work out what their PIN is

or some ppl when you go "Can i have yr phone number plz" and they go "04... ummm...." then have to go thru their bag to find out what their number is :D
 
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jodi..1 said:
I work at woolworths, some people understand the pre-swipe, some people don't. I'm happy to explain it if you don't yell at me. For those who don't know:
1. swipe card
2. select account
3. even if you selected credit you must choose the sale amount (by pressing the cheque button) or other amount (by pressing the credit button)
Some people just don't get step 3 so I ask if they want cash out, they say no, I say "ok thats just the sale amount here above the cheque button, so I'll push chq". Then 9/10 times, "but I'm not paying with cheque!". I then try and explain and they continue to think I've fucked up. I'm working here, I know how it works, just trust me. Some people like to get abusive though, like one bitch last night.

I press the cheque button, while explaining why I am.
Bitch: BUT I'M PAYING WITH CREDIT
Me: Yes I know so you want the sale amount which means I press the cheque button
Bitch: BUT I DON'T WANT TO PAY WITH CHEQUE, I'M PAYING WITH CREDIT
Me: I know that but I need to press the cheque button
Bitch: ...I'M PAYING WITH CREDIT
I then ignore her till the 'key pin or press enter' message comes up on screen, clearly stating OR.
Bitch: I DON'T WANT TO KEY MY PIN, I WANT TO PRESS ENTER
Me (through very tightly gritted teeth): Then press enter, thats why IT SAYS OR PRESS ENTER

Ahh I know the pre-swipe is confusing at first but just trust that I know what I'm doing!!!

I had to whinge. /rant
PreSwipe is the worst thing ever invented. On Saturday a customer was really pissed off, firstly about the wait and then because I kept on telling him that he was swiping his card the wrong way. So he ripped the preswipe flier off the top of the eftpos machine. It was great, because for the rest of the day there were no stupid people asking, "oh, so I can swipe my card now? I've never done that before. Are you sure?". It made my day just a tiny bit better.
 

townie

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i wish you had to pass a special test before your allowed to be issued with a plastic card

tested should be:

(A) The ability to swipe a card once shown the right way (or even better interpreted the diagram!)

(B) the ability to comprehend that once the transaction gets sent to the bank, it's THE BANK who will send us back one of several msgs, these are the most common:

- APPROVED 00, congratulations, you can go now
-APPROVED 08, if you just sign this slip here, you can go if the signatures match, and YES, sometimes you have to sign for cheque or savings when the line is busy, otherwise i cant allow you to have the goods
-DECLINED 04, i'm sorry, your using a stolen card, i'm going to have to call the police now
-DECLINED 51, YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, i dont care if you think you do, but the bank thinks you dont, and nothing you can do to change this

and finally, the bane of my existence when customers dont grasp the concept

DECLINED 01 as frustrating as this may be, this code means that the bank wont accept the transaction, i have no idea why this may be, if i did, you'd probably accuse us of invading your privacy. now, when declined 01 comes up, i'm always happy to try again because the bank does sometimes just do it for no reason, but if it happens twice, YOU HAVE TO CALL THE BANK AND SORT IT OUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO.

and

(C) the ability to grasp the fact that ONCE THE TRANSACTION HAS BEEN SENT TO THE BANK, YOU CANT GET CASH OUT!!!!!!!
 
Last edited:

Captain Gh3y

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townie said:
- APPROVED 00, congratulations, you can go now
-APPROVED 08, if you just sign this slip here, you can go if the signatures match, and YES, sometimes you have to sign for cheque or savings when the line is busy, otherwise i cant allow you to have the goods
-DECLINED 04, i'm sorry, your using a stolen card, i'm going to have to call the police now
-DECLINED 54, YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, i dont care if you think you do, but the bank thinks you dont, and nothing you can do to change this

and finally, the bane of my existence when customers dont grasp the concept

DECLINED 01 as frustrating as this may be, this code means that the bank wont accept the transaction, i have no idea why this may be, if i did, you'd probably accuse us of invading your privacy. now, when declined 01 comes up, i'm always happy to try again because the bank does sometimes just do it for no reason, but if it happens twice, YOU HAVE TO CALL THE BANK AND SORT IT OUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO.
Wow thanks for that, now I know :cool:

EDIT: Do you know what 51 means?
 

Captain Gh3y

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lol ok

there was a message recently we had to sign that said if you get 51 or 01 you are NOT to let them use that card again, i've been following that and it's got people cranky a few times :|
 

scarybunny

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Is there one for "incorrect PIN"?
because I do that accidently sometimes.
 

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