pharmacy rules
-if you're a teenage boy I know you're looking for the condoms, all you have to do is ask rather than spend half an hour looking for them before coming up to me all red faced with the "extra large" size. you won't be extra large for a few years which is probably when you'll get laid. freak.
-if you're an old asian dude, don't ask me where the lube is and then "what in your opinion is the smoothest." Then don't come back a week later and say that it wasn't good enough and wanting a refund because "it didn't go in." I already go to therapy, I don't need more emotional scarring.
-no i'm not allowed to give you out prescription only drugs, they're called that for a reason. YOU NEED A PRESCRIPTION FOR THEM.. freaks.
-no i don't keep those signed scripts because i'm selfish, we need them for our records and if i don't get them then i'm fucked. so don't try and steal them because "it's mine." not anymore lady it's ours.
-yes of course I know everything there is to know about every obscure product in our health food section. fuck no, give me a second to find someone who does and don't complain, i've been working on my feet since 9am with only a half hour lunch break. i'm not exactly the nicest person in our store.
-sorry if i ask you if you need a bag twice, sometimes it's difficult to distinguish between what you're saying on your mobile, to your kids, yelling to your husband outside or complaining about the price and what you're saying to me.
phew... there is more i'm sure