Save sex? (3 Viewers)

[SweetSeasons]

I think every one should go and hire out the movie Saved....

 

[withoutaface]

The concept of morality extends only to when something hurts other people, asking if this is immoral is like asking if saving your pork crackling til after your broccoli is the morally correct thing to do.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

Meh just intice him to rape you, so you have no guilt.

 

[kami]

The whole save sex concept is really worrying me. I'm a christian, but have been going out with my boyfriend for over a year and have not lost my virginity to him. I'm in love with him so much, and yeh, wouldnt think twice about spending my life with him, which is where i stand:
I'm prepared to lose it to someone who i know i would spend the rest of my life with anyway.
but he's moving to another country next year.. what if we do, and then he goes for a year and it all disapears?

so where do you all stand on saving sex for mariage or giving it up for someone you do (or dont) love

I'm neither religious nor well versed in bible lore so I can't tell you what is 'christianly' right to do. All I can say, is that given the stance you profess, do what you are sure your heart feels - whether that includes screwing your boyfriends brains out or abstaining - because if you do something you are unsure of or don't want to do simply because you should(whether it be sex or chastity - there is no right way but yours) then you may well regret it.

Another thing to muse on is if your boyfriend shares your stance? For he may well have decided whether he prefers chastity or sex(remember, just because he is male doesn't make it a given that he wants sex), so communication in this instance could solve many things.

Lastly, I'd tell you to not try to find the answer in the Bible as I'm sure you are already well aware of what it says. Instead try to find the answer inside yourself - you'll never be happy with your decision otherwise.

 

[Everlasting]

Hey guys,

Jesus died for our sins but if you dont asked for forgiveness you will never be forgiven. Seek for yourself about what you think is right. Im not claiming im Jesus nor did i ever say i was better than any of you guys, i am sinful i am the first to claim that, noones perfect. Read and discover for yourself, seek and you will find. I do not want to get into an argument with any of you guys. I apologise if you didnt understand what i was saying. With the matter of the old backs up the new, the 'predictions' that the prohpets told int he old testament were proved in the new. Hardened hearts will never understand, you need to seek the answer earnestly. lol sorry this went of the topic threadstarter.

 

[Not-That-Bright]

Hey guys,

Jesus died for our sins but if you dont asked for forgiveness you will never be forgiven. Seek for yourself about what you think is right. Im not claiming im Jesus nor did i ever say i was better than any of you guys, i am sinful i am the first to claim that, noones perfect. Read and discover for yourself, seek and you will find. I do not want to get into an argument with any of you guys. I apologise if you didnt understand what i was saying. With the matter of the old backs up the new, the 'predictions' that the prohpets told int he old testament were proved in the new. Hardened hearts will never understand, you need to seek the answer earnestly. lol sorry this went of the topic threadstarter.

I think what you're after is -> http://community.boredofstudies.org/214/news-current-affairs-politics/106355/does-god-exist.html

 

[bernz]

threadstarter: if you're really devoted to serving God, then try as hard as you can to do as he asks. If you can still stop and ask the people on BoS whether or not you should go ahead with the deed, obviously, you have the willpower to say no. It's difficult if he's not Christian, but if he loves you, he will at the very least try to understand.

 

[grk_styl]

Yes the Bible needs to be understood...but at the same time I went to a Catholic school and we were taught that the Bible shouldn't be taken literally. I wonder how that coincides with your theory.

Don't get me wrong - I'm religious. Not in the sense that I go to church every Sunday and blah balh, coz we all know that doesn't mean much. But I have very strong beliefs about God and my connection to God.

But at the same time my decision to sleep with my boyfriend was based upon whether I was ready and comfortable with him. It had nothing to do with God. I'm not a sinner just because I'm not a virgin (well in my opinion anyway). I'm a sinner if I steal or cheat or murder

In my opinion, your decision to sleep with your boyfriend should be based on whether you're ready and comfortable. God will still save you from your sins (if this is what you're afraid of). I believe that He ain't going to hate me just coz I want to enjoy the beauty (and pleasure) of sex. As long as I believe, he'll save me.

But this debate can get very heavy, and I'm sure there'll be a lot of arguments as there always are.

I just hope you don't have people saying to you "don't have sex before marriage coz you will be a sinner!" I also hope you don't say that to people, coz that's such a narrow-minded view.

that's my 5 cents

 

[Not-That-Bright]

I'm pretty sure Jesus said that to even entertain lustful desires for a person is to commit adultery.

27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[a] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matt 5:27-28;&version=31;

So I think you might as well go for it anyway.

 

[ur_inner_child]

^

*Needs rep system bad*

 

[transcendent]

ah Bible bashing. much love.

 

[switchfootfan]

its so much better to save yourself for after the offical life-long commitment has been made. im a christian guy and i feel like there is this feeling of synonimaty between love and sex. This is obviously not the case no matter which way you look at it. the bible has something to say on this topic and is definetly worth checking out.

 

[switchfootfan]

i think the heart of this issue is in two areas,
-the whole idea that sex before marriage is sinning
- that jesus wiped out our sin thus we can do whatever we want

to the first point, if you believe in the whole concept of sin according to the bible then you would have to toke the whole package, ie yes it is

to the second point, it is true that he wiped out our sin for us AND BECAME OUR FRIEND. if someone becomes the greatest friend you could ever have, you dont go railing on them all the time. you arnt obliged to be perfect (and he doesnt expect u to be) but you true to be a better persome out of love for him. Sin=rebelion against god.

 

[Ennaybur]

But isn't he a friend that sticks by you no matter what?

 

[withoutaface]

Im not claiming im Jesus

K, cause I am.

 

[Cykologi_gal]

I really respect the fact that you've saved yourself this far - and the fact that you're trying to make a rational decision.

My solution for you is to continue to save yourself...but I can't force you to do that - the decision has to be made by you.

Have you done anything physical with him at all? Do you feel comfortable and secure doing that? At times though, like what you mentioned - him moving away - it can cast doubts in your mind.

That's why I'm saying this - If you've waited this long so that your first time would be special and memorable, it shouldn't matter if you have to wait a bit longer just to make sure that it IS to be special and memorable.

You say you'd like to spend the rest of your life with him - you're willing to give yourself to him - but the current circumstances suggest that there is doubt and you need to reconsider whether your wish to spend your lives together can be realized.

I wouldn't want you to regret it - you know, at times, the separation can do a relationship good. See if you can handle this before you give yourself. Perceive it as a test to your relationship with him.

In a nutshell, don't do it now. Love can fall apart, security may fade before you can be sure of anything - I'm not saying that you MUST save your virginity until marriage, it's your decision after all, but I think that it'll be an achievement, an accomplishment and above all, it will reflect faithfulness.

I'm no Christian - I'm as Buddhist as you're Christian. I can't say much about Christianity, but like Christianity, Buddhism emphasises the concept of consummation after marriage and that you'd remain faithful to them...But long before I really "got into" Buddhism, I've decided to save myself - one naive reason is that I want my white dress to mean something. Another is the feeling of security as you get married - even if divorce happens, you know you've waited until marriage. Love and promises alone cannot accomplish that. (I've done some physical things with a few guys...I can't say that I regret it, because in my mind, only the "act" itself constitutes sex, but I'm saving the "real thing" - my virginity for whoever I marry)

I hope I've made things a little clearer for you - and I hope you'll make the right decision for yourself. All the best!

 

[bernz]

But isn't he a friend that sticks by you no matter what?

Yes, but don't you want to be a good friend to him too? I'd think that out of gratefulness (is that even a word?) for what he did for us, we'd be happy to try our very hardest to live in His ways.

 

[(^o^)]

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans 1;&version=9;

look at Romans 1:24, 27

If you are a strong believer in God, then sure take what the bible says and save it like what you've been doing. If not, follow your heart and see what you feel is right.


Oral sex would be seen as sex too btw...

 

[Not-That-Bright]

Why do none of these christians respond to me? I am of the understanding that even lusting someone is to commit the sin, so if she's already committed it why shouldn't she keep going - strictly from the perspective of jesus?

I am quite unsure why you want to save yourself? If it is because of your religion, you must understand that there are many rules/regulations in your religion that you are probably already breaking (as I pointed out earlier, you've probably already committed the sin) - don't let what your religion says, or more likely what other people TELL you is what your religion says be the crux of your decisions. You are a smart person, I am sure, use your brain to come up the decision which YOU think is right for you.

If it is because you feel that losing your virginity 'devalues' you. Please don't think like that. After sex you will still be the same girl you always were, with the same hopes, dreams and ideas. Anyone that makes out that you will be anything less than you are now is a pathetic scumbag and you should not give them any of your time.

If you love this guy, he loves you and you want to have sex... where's the pain? Don't waste your young years living up to other people's ideals, live your life the way you want to.

 

[dora_18]

yeah, i cant fathom the concept of saving yourself for marriage...or for whatever else people save themselves for...i mean i dont judge people who do...but its just sex! not a rocket launch..well definitely not the first time...

its not that its bad..is just not good...
good comes later...and then really good comes...