So... I had a family friends gathering/party which consisted of my family and the family friends, friends and cousins.
Now the family friend that hosted the party because it was their birthday, their daughter was my ex gf about a year ago. We hadn't talked for all that time and shit was awkward everytime we saw each other.
So I was sitting down with my mum and sis, on my phone telling a friend how awkward it was being at the same party as her. Then suddenly... the most beautiful girl walked into the house and I LEGIT froze while I was typing. Her hair was long and silky... shiny... little brown strands... her eyes were glowing... I had never seen a girl this pretty in my life... Problem was... I'm a shy guy
I kept telling myself "just go up and say hi". I had walked past/near her so many times, at one time she just stood waiting infront of me waiting to get a drink... It was crazy. My heart started pounding. I couldn't speak. I swear my heart skipped a beat.
We were at this party for a good say 5 hours. And all this time, I just couldn't introduce myself. I wanted to just ask my ex to introduce me since they're family friends. But she was too busy doing her own thing, and I hadn't spoken to her for a year until we got to this party, just said hi and all.
While the birthday people were saying speeches (I was like wtf... this is a birthday, you're not running for PM..), I found a gap between the girl of my dreams and a wall, so I squeezed my way through with my parents (BAD IDEA FUCK). There was a slight moment when our arms touched because it was so cramped... I looked at her and she slowly looked up into my eyes so innocently. ARGH. It FUCKING kills me everytime I think of it. I couldn't even just smile (just had a little smirk) or say sorry to just start a convo.
I've met girls before in school but they were all sluts and gangers. Some of them looked really nice and gentle, but no.
I've never felt this way about a girl before. Never. I just wanted to meet her. And the best news was, I over heard her and my ex talking about the HSC they just did (2013) which was the same as me. So we were perfect age for each other. I thought "shit this is the perfect time to just jump in and say "oh you did your hsc too? nice, I'm _____ btw"
Whilst at the party, I decided to go on facebook and try search for her. Not even knowing her name. Yes I know that's stalkerish but I just had to find out who she was.
So all the kids were in one room playing games, so I decided to just sit in the room and watch. When I walked into the room she looked at me with a smile and I died. I continued walking to the back of the room behind her to sit and watch. All was going well, I was in a good position if I wanted to join the game. But 1 minute after I sit down... her parents go "common, time to go"
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
So I quickly came up with a plan that I would meet her outside putting shoes on (omg desperate now.). So I quickly ran out and went to my parents and said "ah lets go, every one else is going" so I saw the girl and her family walk outside, but luckily everyone was asian, so they stood outside talking for a year. Then my mum said to just go and put my shoes on first (YES) So OFC I went out to put my shoes on, I saw her, she saw me. Suddenly I felt a change of some sort.. She started becoming really quiet and not paying attention to the people talking to her and her family. She kept glimpsing at me and I did the same. I thought how the fuck am I meant to say hi right here... I was hoping my family would hurry the fuck up and get out here so they could start saying good bye to everyone outside and most likely stay to talk for a bit. Which did happen. AFTER THE GIRL AND HER FAMILY ALREADY LEFT. FUCKING HELL. The last I saw of her was when she walked out the gate... I actually cried inside. Tears wanted to come out. I didn't say hi to her. I didn't get her name. I didn't anything. The drive home after was depressing. I was really quiet but didn't want to act sus. So I talked a bit. But when I got home I started facebooking again (mind you this was at almost 12:30am after an hours drive) And after I thought I would give up, I saw a girl in a profile picture... it was only half a face in the dp, but I thought I'd check it out anyway. AND IT WAS HER!!!!!!!!! I wasn't so sure at first, but then I checked her mutal friends and she was a mutal friend of mine. I couldn't believe it. I actually found her. I know this is all creepy and shit but I just couldn't stand not knowing who she was.
So the next day I was talking to the same friend I was at the party (on fb, and she's a girl) I told her what happened and I also mentioned I felt really down and shit... She told me "omg stop being sad" She told me this after she always fucking tells me shit about herself and her boyfriend and all the problems they have. I never once told her to "stop being sad" Instead I supported her through all her hard times and she couldn't even support me once. Fucking bitch. So after she said that I just didn't reply. I got so angry at her. And after that day, I hardly talked to her. She said "YOu've being acting weirdly after the family gatho thing what's wrong"
I told her nothings wrong, Just had a lot of things on my mind. She said "well tell me, you know you can trust me yea?" I said yea, I know, but you don't need to know. And she kept going on and on about how somethings wrong and how I need to tell someone. I just wanted to tell her to fuck off. But I didn't. I kindly said she didn't need to know and just let it go. So she said "fine, have fun with all your shit". Thanks, I will!
So after that I was like "YES I DONT HAVE TO TALK TO HER ANYMORE!!!!!! NO MORE HEARING HER FUCKING PROBLEMS!!" So she talked to me a few days later and said "so how are you" I reply "ye good" I just wanted to make her feel like shit that my life is good without her being part of it, which it actually is.
So fast forward a few weeks and I still just can't stop thinking of this girl. I still can't stop thinking of how pretty she was, how her eyes just look up at you and give you the most innocent look. I knew she wasn't a slut or a ganger. She's religious and takes that seriously. Sometimes you can just see it in ones eyes.
My problem is... I know who she is now... I want to add her on facebook but I just can't... It's so creepy. Every night I hope to dream that she is searching facebook for me too. One night I had a dream that we were together, we kissed, we hugged, and I was the happiest man alive... THEN MY MUM WOKE ME UP. fml.
I guess if it's not meant to be then it's not meant to be. What can I do... What can I do to meet her again... I noticed one of my friends is friends with one of her friends. I was thinking of asking my friend if he knows the girl, but I hardly talk to that friend anymore. Nothing stopping me though.
Girl, if you're reading this and I doubt you are... I just want you to know who I am without revealing too much. I was the guy at the twins birthday party. You were wearing a teal coloured singlet top and light black jeans. You were with your friend all night. I was the guy that kept looking at your beautiful face. White shirt. Black jeans. Done up hair. The guy that didn't come up to you and say hi. I just want you to know that it's been killing me ever since that night. I can't believe I couldn't do a simple thing and say hi. If you're reading this... I hope you're trying to search for me too. I hope you had some sort of feelings for me that night. The few times we would look at each other and then get shy and look away, It made my heart race.
I want to know you... I want to meet you... You are truly an amazing girl that is exactly what I've been looking for. You're family orientated, you're pretty, you're smart. I need to have you :'(
