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synthesisFR

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ive done this question
which paper is it from if i find it i can send the answer i wrote up
 

elmio023

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Im no expert on short answers but this is how I would answer it. What are all your thoughts? How would you mark this? Any help greatly appreciated :)

Kent uses imagery to portray the human experience of responding to the animal cruelty and more broadly the sins of one's family. The sensory image "the day was hot" symbolises the sense of being uncomfortable with the upcoming pig-slaughter via pathetic fallacy. The auditory image of the pig's "frantic squealing" connotes the narrators sense of empathy with the pain of the pig rather than her family who are killing it. The visual imagery of the sister "clamp[ing] her hands over her ears" symbolises an inability to rationalise the actions of of family killing pig, leading to symbolically closing inner self off to them and the wider world. This is contrasted with the idyllic naturalistic images of"nut trees. Fruit trees vines," projecting a future where sisters live in harmony with nature rather than killing domesticated animals. The close proxemics in the visual image of "we will sit next to each other in church" symbolise a connection between the two sisters as they work together in a new future that rejects the killing of animals promulgated by their families. Moreover, the symbolic image of a "tight fierce hug" reveals their reliance on each other whilst reconciling with the actions of family.
 

user18181818

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Im no expert on short answers but this is how I would answer it. What are all your thoughts? How would you mark this? Any help greatly appreciated :)

Kent uses imagery to portray the human experience of responding to the animal cruelty and more broadly the sins of one's family. The sensory image "the day was hot" symbolises the sense of being uncomfortable with the upcoming pig-slaughter via pathetic fallacy. The auditory image of the pig's "frantic squealing" connotes the narrators sense of empathy with the pain of the pig rather than her family who are killing it. The visual imagery of the sister "clamp[ing] her hands over her ears" symbolises an inability to rationalise the actions of of family killing pig, leading to symbolically closing inner self off to them and the wider world. This is contrasted with the idyllic naturalistic images of"nut trees. Fruit trees vines," projecting a future where sisters live in harmony with nature rather than killing domesticated animals. The close proxemics in the visual image of "we will sit next to each other in church" symbolise a connection between the two sisters as they work together in a new future that rejects the killing of animals promulgated by their families. Moreover, the symbolic image of a "tight fierce hug" reveals their reliance on each other whilst reconciling with the actions of family.
I think this is really good tbh you have outlined a lot of techniques and what they do - my only suggestion is for 6 marks I have been told to have a final conclusive statement so maybe put that in there? I'm shit at english so if anyone else has feedback add it too but I think it's good and concise :)))
 

synthesisFR

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Im no expert on short answers but this is how I would answer it. What are all your thoughts? How would you mark this? Any help greatly appreciated :)

Kent uses imagery to portray the human experience of responding to the animal cruelty and more broadly the sins of one's family. The sensory image "the day was hot" symbolises the sense of being uncomfortable with the upcoming pig-slaughter via pathetic fallacy. The auditory image of the pig's "frantic squealing" connotes the narrators sense of empathy with the pain of the pig rather than her family who are killing it. The visual imagery of the sister "clamp[ing] her hands over her ears" symbolises an inability to rationalise the actions of of family killing pig, leading to symbolically closing inner self off to them and the wider world. This is contrasted with the idyllic naturalistic images of"nut trees. Fruit trees vines," projecting a future where sisters live in harmony with nature rather than killing domesticated animals. The close proxemics in the visual image of "we will sit next to each other in church" symbolise a connection between the two sisters as they work together in a new future that rejects the killing of animals promulgated by their families. Moreover, the symbolic image of a "tight fierce hug" reveals their reliance on each other whilst reconciling with the actions of family.
damn u know a lot of techinques lol ig i should probably memorise a few new ones before going into the exam
 

band6yesplease

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Im no expert on short answers but this is how I would answer it. What are all your thoughts? How would you mark this? Any help greatly appreciated :)

Kent uses imagery to portray the human experience of responding to the animal cruelty and more broadly the sins of one's family. The sensory image "the day was hot" symbolises the sense of being uncomfortable with the upcoming pig-slaughter via pathetic fallacy. The auditory image of the pig's "frantic squealing" connotes the narrators sense of empathy with the pain of the pig rather than her family who are killing it. The visual imagery of the sister "clamp[ing] her hands over her ears" symbolises an inability to rationalise the actions of of family killing pig, leading to symbolically closing inner self off to them and the wider world. This is contrasted with the idyllic naturalistic images of"nut trees. Fruit trees vines," projecting a future where sisters live in harmony with nature rather than killing domesticated animals. The close proxemics in the visual image of "we will sit next to each other in church" symbolise a connection between the two sisters as they work together in a new future that rejects the killing of animals promulgated by their families. Moreover, the symbolic image of a "tight fierce hug" reveals their reliance on each other whilst reconciling with the actions of family.
This is good but don't be afraid to slow down and just do a bit of explaining cause you've definitely got a fantastic grasp of the techniques and analysis but your analysis doesn't really mean anything if you're not linking it back to your thesis. I know it's only a short answer but sometimes adding in a, "...thus showcasing Kent's effective use of imagery to highlight the human experience of ..." makes that important difference between a 5 and a 6
Otherwise it just feels like you're listing a bunch of techniques and it doesn't really say anything if you get me???
 

elmio023

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This is good but don't be afraid to slow down and just do a bit of explaining cause you've definitely got a fantastic grasp of the techniques and analysis but your analysis doesn't really mean anything if you're not linking it back to your thesis. I know it's only a short answer but sometimes adding in a, "...thus showcasing Kent's effective use of imagery to highlight the human experience of ..." makes that important difference between a 5 and a 6
Otherwise it just feels like you're listing a bunch of techniques and it doesn't really say anything if you get me???
Right, so having more of a sense of the author's overall purpose? Would this advice apply to 3/4 markers as well or just the longer 6/7 markers? Thanks for all the help
 

synthesisFR

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I did this paper before trials so it took a while to find sorry.
Basically I wrote:

The author utilises imagery to convey the power of hope in providing relief from the struggles we may have during the present. The enthusiasm of the crowd built up through the slaughter of the pig is demonstrated through auditory imagery "It squealed and the passengers laughed again" conveying how individuals find distractions during the present to procrastinate from squandering the struggles that they face, which in this case is migration by sea. However this is juxtaposed by Thea's truncated sentence "I feel sick" presenting her as an anomaly to show how this may not provide relief over the present anxiety to all individuals. Furthered through the repetition "I hate it. I hate it" emphasises how she is unable to use such a cruel act as a method of receiving her personal worries of the future, further symbolised by the pig's death as it lets out a 'shill screech', to connote a lack of hope present within the persona's psyche. However this is contrasted through the rich and pleasant visual imagery "and we will plan orchard, nut trees, [can't this read bit my handwriting]" to expose how hopeful contemplation of future possibilities provides an escape from current harsh situations which would otherwise impede individuals from finding solace. Ultimately the shift in her character "Thank God.. Thank god for that" after finding out 'it is dead now' contrasts her initial characterisation as she no longer feels pain or remorse for the pig, which really was a symbol for all the pain and suffering of the present. Instead this provides a new perspective that through hope for future opportunities, we gain strength to move on past harsh situations within the present.

I got a 5/6 for this response. tbh reading this i kinda cringed but yeah.
 

band6yesplease

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Right, so having more of a sense of the author's overall purpose? Would this advice apply to 3/4 markers as well or just the longer 6/7 markers? Thanks for all the help
Yeah but to a lesser extent for lower marks cause it just becomes convoluted/time wasting. I would suggest literally just a sentence after the first 2 or 3 quotes explicitly linking it back to the question to give yourself and the marker some breathing space then go back in and add more quotes etc and then your conclusive statement (like @synthesisFR's which is rlly good) should link it back again
 

synthesisFR

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ps if u want more answers i suggest doing these short answer papers as ive done them already (gunning for that 20/20 in english to mirror trials)
  • 2020 hsc
  • Barker 2019
  • ruse 2022
  • fort st 2019
  • unsw prac paper
  • ascham 2022
  • syd girls 2021
  • Bauko 2019
  • Shore 2019
  • syd girls 2022
  • baulko 2022
  • Central coast grammar 2022
  • i def did a couple more i just can't find the paper names lol\
  • Barker 2022
  • Fort 2022
  • Fort 2023
 

liamkk112

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Yeah but to a lesser extent for lower marks cause it just becomes convoluted/time wasting. I would suggest literally just a sentence after the first 2 or 3 quotes explicitly linking it back to the question to give yourself and the marker some breathing space then go back in and add more quotes etc and then your conclusive statement (link @synthesisFR's which is rlly good) should link it back again
personally i found literally adding one extra sentence for every quote analysis really bumps up ur quality, and adds a lot of clarity to what you are saying instead of just having a somewhat vague sentence about the effect of the technique
 

user18181818

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Ok I took both of your responses and added a bit please tell me this is good
Kent uses imagery to portray the human experience of inconsistent responses to animal cruelty and consoling ones family members in periods of feeling uncomfortable. The auditory imagery of the pig's "frantic squealing" connotes the narrator's sense of empathy with the pain of the pig rather than her family who are killing it, suggesting how humans experience a more sensitive, sympathetic approach to animal cruelty as opposed to an aggressive response. Additionally, the visual imagery of the sister "clamp[ing] her hands over her ears" symbolises the innate nature of her sister to comfort her through closing Thea off to the even that makes her uncomfortable. This reiterates the human experience of support from loved ones during times of discomfort to protect family members from feeling psychological pain. This uncomfortable event is contrasted with the idyllic naturalistic images of “Nut trees. Fruit trees vines”, projecting a future where sisters live in harmony with nature rather than killing domesticated animals, revealing how humans tend to distract themselves from events that make them uncomfortable such as animal cruelty by reflecting on their own values. Lastly, the close proxemics in the visual image of "we will sit next to each other in church" symbolises a connection between the two sisters as they work together in a new future that rejects the killing of animals promulgated by their families. The “tight fierce hug" reveals their reliance on each other whilst reconciling with the actions of family, further demonstrating their experience of relying on their values to provide an escape from current harsh situations which would otherwise impede individuals from finding solace. Ultimately the shift in her character in the ellipsis of "Thank God.. Thank god for that" after finding out the pig was dead reiterates the sheer relief Thea feels knowing the pig is no longer being tortured. This contrasts her initial characterisation as she no longer feels pain or remorse for the pig, which really was a symbol for all the pain and suffering of the present, & instead provides a new perspective that through hope for future opportunities, humans gain strength to move on past harsh situations within the present. Overall, Kent uses poignant use of imagery to convey the human experience of response to animal cruelty & ability to move on from present uncomfortable events.
 

band6yesplease

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Ok I took both of your responses and added a bit please tell me this is good
Kent uses imagery to portray the human experience of inconsistent responses to animal cruelty and consoling ones family members in periods of feeling uncomfortable. The auditory imagery of the pig's "frantic squealing" connotes the narrator's sense of empathy with the pain of the pig rather than her family who are killing it, suggesting how humans experience a more sensitive, sympathetic approach to animal cruelty as opposed to an aggressive response. Additionally, the visual imagery of the sister "clamp[ing] her hands over her ears" symbolises the innate nature of her sister to comfort her through closing Thea off to the even that makes her uncomfortable. This reiterates the human experience of support from loved ones during times of discomfort to protect family members from feeling psychological pain. This uncomfortable event is contrasted with the idyllic naturalistic images of “Nut trees. Fruit trees vines”, projecting a future where sisters live in harmony with nature rather than killing domesticated animals, revealing how humans tend to distract themselves from events that make them uncomfortable such as animal cruelty by reflecting on their own values. Lastly, the close proxemics in the visual image of "we will sit next to each other in church" symbolises a connection between the two sisters as they work together in a new future that rejects the killing of animals promulgated by their families. The “tight fierce hug" reveals their reliance on each other whilst reconciling with the actions of family, further demonstrating their experience of relying on their values to provide an escape from current harsh situations which would otherwise impede individuals from finding solace. Ultimately the shift in her character in the ellipsis of "Thank God.. Thank god for that" after finding out the pig was dead reiterates the sheer relief Thea feels knowing the pig is no longer being tortured. This contrasts her initial characterisation as she no longer feels pain or remorse for the pig, which really was a symbol for all the pain and suffering of the present, & instead provides a new perspective that through hope for future opportunities, humans gain strength to move on past harsh situations within the present. Overall, Kent uses poignant use of imagery to convey the human experience of response to animal cruelty & ability to move on from present uncomfortable events.
Delete "Lastly" and change "really was" to "was" be more declarative. NEVER USE "OVERALL" or "in conclusion" or any of that. It's better to use therefore or thus etc etc.

also, i know its contradictory to the advice we've given u but be careful not to write TOO much cause you have a limited amount of time remember.

other that that it is BEAUTIFUL Im so proud of uuuuu
 

user18181818

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Delete "Lastly" and change "really was" to "was" be more declarative. NEVER USE "OVERALL" or "in conclusion" or any of that. It's better to use therefore or thus etc etc.

also, i know its contradictory to the advice we've given u but be careful not to write TOO much cause you have a limited amount of time remember.

other that that it is BEAUTIFUL Im so proud of uuuuu
THANK YOUUUU guys we are gonna smash paper 1 i believe in all of us even tho i have no clue who yall are
 

liamkk112

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Ok I took both of your responses and added a bit please tell me this is good
Kent uses imagery to portray the human experience of inconsistent responses to animal cruelty and consoling ones family members in periods of feeling uncomfortable. The auditory imagery of the pig's "frantic squealing" connotes the narrator's sense of empathy with the pain of the pig rather than her family who are killing it, suggesting how humans experience a more sensitive, sympathetic approach to animal cruelty as opposed to an aggressive response. Additionally, the visual imagery of the sister "clamp[ing] her hands over her ears" symbolises the innate nature of her sister to comfort her through closing Thea off to the even that makes her uncomfortable. This reiterates the human experience of support from loved ones during times of discomfort to protect family members from feeling psychological pain. This uncomfortable event is contrasted with the idyllic naturalistic images of “Nut trees. Fruit trees vines”, projecting a future where sisters live in harmony with nature rather than killing domesticated animals, revealing how humans tend to distract themselves from events that make them uncomfortable such as animal cruelty by reflecting on their own values. Lastly, the close proxemics in the visual image of "we will sit next to each other in church" symbolises a connection between the two sisters as they work together in a new future that rejects the killing of animals promulgated by their families. The “tight fierce hug" reveals their reliance on each other whilst reconciling with the actions of family, further demonstrating their experience of relying on their values to provide an escape from current harsh situations which would otherwise impede individuals from finding solace. Ultimately the shift in her character in the ellipsis of "Thank God.. Thank god for that" after finding out the pig was dead reiterates the sheer relief Thea feels knowing the pig is no longer being tortured. This contrasts her initial characterisation as she no longer feels pain or remorse for the pig, which really was a symbol for all the pain and suffering of the present, & instead provides a new perspective that through hope for future opportunities, humans gain strength to move on past harsh situations within the present. Overall, Kent uses poignant use of imagery to convey the human experience of response to animal cruelty & ability to move on from present uncomfortable events.
thats good af aside from what band6 said, language like overall and lastly is like a "fake formal" voice and is redundant. my english teacher would literally kill me if i used overall or in conclusion lmao
 

elmio023

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Ok I took both of your responses and added a bit please tell me this is good
Kent uses imagery to portray the human experience of inconsistent responses to animal cruelty and consoling ones family members in periods of feeling uncomfortable. The auditory imagery of the pig's "frantic squealing" connotes the narrator's sense of empathy with the pain of the pig rather than her family who are killing it, suggesting how humans experience a more sensitive, sympathetic approach to animal cruelty as opposed to an aggressive response. Additionally, the visual imagery of the sister "clamp[ing] her hands over her ears" symbolises the innate nature of her sister to comfort her through closing Thea off to the even that makes her uncomfortable. This reiterates the human experience of support from loved ones during times of discomfort to protect family members from feeling psychological pain. This uncomfortable event is contrasted with the idyllic naturalistic images of “Nut trees. Fruit trees vines”, projecting a future where sisters live in harmony with nature rather than killing domesticated animals, revealing how humans tend to distract themselves from events that make them uncomfortable such as animal cruelty by reflecting on their own values. Lastly, the close proxemics in the visual image of "we will sit next to each other in church" symbolises a connection between the two sisters as they work together in a new future that rejects the killing of animals promulgated by their families. The “tight fierce hug" reveals their reliance on each other whilst reconciling with the actions of family, further demonstrating their experience of relying on their values to provide an escape from current harsh situations which would otherwise impede individuals from finding solace. Ultimately the shift in her character in the ellipsis of "Thank God.. Thank god for that" after finding out the pig was dead reiterates the sheer relief Thea feels knowing the pig is no longer being tortured. This contrasts her initial characterisation as she no longer feels pain or remorse for the pig, which really was a symbol for all the pain and suffering of the present, & instead provides a new perspective that through hope for future opportunities, humans gain strength to move on past harsh situations within the present. Overall, Kent uses poignant use of imagery to convey the human experience of response to animal cruelty & ability to move on from present uncomfortable events.
Yeah I'm pretty sure this would get 6/6, it's just about getting everything down in the time constraints now. Nice work. More general question, if the question asks about a specific technique (imagery, metaphor etc) will the markers pay talking about other techniques in a response? i.e. the question was about imagery, does all your analysis have to be types of images?
 

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