Short Story - The Last Person on Earth (what would YOU do? - Post Here!) (2 Viewers)

[UndeadSamurai01]

Hey all

I am going to write a story about the last person on earth (related to AOS belonging)

So I have created this thread to ask people about it.

So here's the question. What would you do if you were the last person on earth?


Details:

• YOU are the last person on earth - no one else is with you
• YOU have already realised that you are the last person on earth
• Everyone has disapeared (not died, there are no bodies) at midnight three days ago
• Everything is exactly as is was at midnight three days ago - there is no wreakage
• Aliens did not do it so pease do not comment about them

I will post sections of the story when I complete them, but they are subject to change as they are not final copies.

get posting!

 

[alcalder]

Hmmm, very "Z for Zachariah".

I think I would not believe that I was the last person on Earth and want to believe that there was someone, somewhere who would be my companion.

I would probably go off in search of that person in any way I could. First going around Australia and then try and head to another country somehow and continue searching.

If I were the last person on Earth, then I can imagine that basic services would cease completely and there would be no electricity and it would be living rough the entire time - even needing to pump petrol by hand from undergrough tanks, if that were possible (have you seen the TV series "Jericho"? They explore that sort of thing to some extent and how a town in USA can survive without power and access to anything outside their own area.)

I would seek out other people and visit areas and places that I would not have been able to see otherwise for there would be little point in doing things for others or later generations. Maybe break into a hospital sperm bank and sort something out there to ensure further generations (don't freak out, wouldn't you?).

Anyway, some of my thoughts.

 

[__moonriver]

To be honest I'd probably off myself. It's not a big deal, but what's the point in living if you're the last person on earth?
(Assuming you know that you will, always and forever, be the last person on earth).

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

Hmmm, very "Z for Zachariah".

I think I would not believe that I was the last person on Earth and want to believe that there was someone, somewhere who would be my companion.

I would probably go off in search of that person in any way I could. First going around Australia and then try and head to another country somehow and continue searching.

If I were the last person on Earth, then I can imagine that basic services would cease completely and there would be no electricity and it would be living rough the entire time - even needing to pump petrol by hand from undergrough tanks, if that were possible (have you seen the TV series "Jericho"? They explore that sort of thing to some extent and how a town in USA can survive without power and access to anything outside their own area.)

I would seek out other people and visit areas and places that I would not have been able to see otherwise for there would be little point in doing things for others or later generations. Maybe break into a hospital sperm bank and sort something out there to ensure further generations (don't freak out, wouldn't you?).

Anyway, some of my thoughts.

Yeah I know it's a bit cliche' but it's still a powerful tool to explore belonging.

Thanks for responding so seriously though (I wasn't sure if anyone would). You have a lot of good ideas - and the last one is alot less freaky the reading it the second time.

Origionally my protagonist was going to be male - but now perhaps a female (re. your freaky idea ) Although it may be hard to fit somthing like that into a short story - it requires alot of set up. what can I say - I'll give it a shot.

might post the first section later today.

and in response to moonriver - yes that is also a valid response and I can't fault you for thinking in that direction (I know I would after a while ) that might become a theme later in the story - but I don't think he - or she will end up doing that.

thx for commenting

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

Also If I was the last person on earth I would probably go crazy for a while (dunno how long) - you know stealing stuff, driving fast and doing all the things I couldn't do before.

Then I would realize the futility of it all and become really depressed and go on a journey to try and find some meaning in my life ie. trying to find somone else or why this happened

god I hate when things are cliche' even though they are true :mad1:.

 

[closmo]

To be honest I'd probably off myself. It's not a big deal, but what's the point in living if you're the last person on earth?
(Assuming you know that you will, always and forever, be the last person on earth).

I tend to agree, I'd flip out, and maybe try to figure out what the hell had gone wrong to make the entire population of the earth die but me. Then I'd probably off myself.

But then again- are their animals? I reckon I could live with dogs, or cats. I could be the cat lady that NO ONE can make fun of haha

Hope that helped.

 

[closmo]

population of the earth die but me. quote]

I meant vanish

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

I tend to agree, I'd flip out, and maybe try to figure out what the hell had gone wrong to make the entire population of the earth die but me. Then I'd probably off myself.

But then again- are their animals? I reckon I could live with dogs, or cats. I could be the cat lady that NO ONE can make fun of haha

Hope that helped.

That is pretty much the key idea - can someone 'belong' when there are no other people.

The idea about the animals is an interesting one - and as anyone with pets knows, they can be great company.

What I was thinking of is that without people you could do what ever you want - but you would have no-one to share it with - but perhaps you could share it with your pets... also and interesting direction to explore.

 

[wixxy2348]

a) I'd attempt to procreate with apes so that a subhumanoid race would prosper.
b) Or... I'd commit suicide due to the stark loneliness.
c) Or.. I'd be excited and loot everything and be richer then Bill Gates.
d) I'd become an astronaut and fly into the sun to find people.
e) I'd invent time travel and find a way to ensure the human race had not vanished.
f) I'd pray a lot lol and wait for Jeebus to come and procreate with him. Sure there'd be holes in half our kids hands and feet, but at least there would be people.

Yeah, I say b) is most likely.

 

[ravengirl]

i would walk around naked all day, what's the point of bothering with clothes ?

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

I'd attempt to procreate with apes so that a subhumanoid race would prosper.

umm yeah. Can't say I though of... that... uh... its definatly ... er... intresting...

*backs away slowly.*

But seriously some of those points were pretty good - stick around I'll be posting the first segment soon!

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

i would walk around naked all day, what's the point of bothering with clothes ?

So true. I wondered if anyone would say that, but there you go.

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

OK here is the first section. - its just a first draft and I just wrote it so it may change - please feal totally free to say if it sucks or needs work, but also any construtive comments would be greatly appreciated.

The harsh sunlight strikes your eyes and you crack them open, literally. You can hear a crackle of dried blood as you force your eyelids open. The sunlight hurts your eyes so you close them. You listen, and you hear … nothing. You become aware of something pressing into your chest. You once again open your eyes and see that you’re in a car with airbags deployed, now hanging limp and lifeless [the airbags, do I have to make this clearer?] . You raise your hand to your face and feel … blood!, but it has already dried, the small gash on your head has closed.

A sudden sense of claustrophobia overcomes you and you HAVE to get out of the car, you gasp for air and your chest hurts with each breath. Frantically you grasp for the door handle and pull it. Falling from the car you land on asphalt. Owch! Laying there you do a conscious check for injuries. There is dried blood from your head, and down your neck form your ears. Arms? Check. Legs?, check. Torso? – a massive bruise on your chest, probably from those air bags, but otherwise OK.

You try to stand, and find that your legs are asleep, but you manage to get up. Looking around you see the car – wrapped around a parking meter, and a street in the city somewhere… but there’s no one around. Suddenly the memories hit you in flashes and you stagger under their vivacity.

You remember waking up – no-one in the house, phoning people, no-one answering. No-one next door or the house after that or the house after that. Cars crashed on the road but no people, no blood. Getting dark, getting frantic, you drive, faster, faster, searching, no-one, nothing, darkness, fear, pain, silence.

Still you hear the deafening silence and it makes you want to scream. Yell. Anything to break the silence, but you can’t, you feel dizzy, your skin tingles and you realise that you’re lying on the ground again, but you don’t remember falling, you see darkness again and conciseness once again slips away.

Thx for reading

please comment, I will take all views into consideration and maybe submit a revised copy later today or tomorrow.

 

[closmo]

I wouldn't write in 2nd person... it's too hard to continue with it. Write in 1st or 3rd.
Also I'd change that first line with the 'crack your eyes open, literally' bit. Maybe something more along the lines of "The harsh sunlight strikes your closed eyes and you try to open your eyes, glued tight with dried blood, etc"?

Pretty good overall, just it sounds weird not being in first/third person, and just that first line could be reworked as suggested before. As you said it's a first draft, so it's pretty good. I like the concept, and some of the ideas we shoved at you would work wonderfully.

Your character is going to need some real work too, as a reader we can't tell if it's female or male, or what age, is he/she 12? 50? or more like 18? Is he/she rich? or poor? intelligent? take some of that into consideration, you don't have to write about that, BUT you as the writer knowing that will make it easier to get inside the character's head.

Hope that helped...
Looking forward to hearing the rest

 

[wixxy2348]

What the above poster noted with regards to 2nd person, I agree. I don't think you can develop the story or character enough if you keep it like this. Personally I think your best approach would be to tell the story in a D, A, B, C, D order, where you keep the 'end point' as the opening paragraph, and then shift in time to where the story began... But that this should be in 3rd person.
Good luck with it!


So as a basic prototype (N.B. this is only how I personally would approach it, not necessarily how you should or will find it easiest)

D - The harsh sunlight strikes your eyes and you crack them open, in a literal sense, hearing a crackle of dried blood as you force them ajar. The sunlight hurts your eyes, and so you close them again. So you listen... and you hear nothing. Gradually you become aware of something pressing into your chest. You once again open your eyes and see that you’re in a car with airbags deployed, now hanging limp and lifeless. You raise your hand to your face and feel dried blood, the small gash on your head having closed.

^Note some minor changes to this paragraph.

--

A - Waking up with first sunlight, Bill rolled over in bed. "Please," he thought outloud, his head throbbing with the ill effects of a big night, "Five more minutes?"
etc etc... waking up sequence

B - Bill walks into kitchen, takes a bite from a granny smith apple and chases it down with a mouthful of a scalding but satisfying coffee. "Bob?" he yells up the stairs, "Bobbie, kiddo, time for you to get up for school!"... Bill ascends the stairs, realises that his son Bobbie Brown is not in his bed, that the house is deserted.

C - Like any parent he frantically tries to dial 000 but theres no dial tone, no ability to make contact. Turns the TV on but if deafened by white noise, the screen is just fuzz. He runs onto the street and it's deserted. Out of desperation to make human contact and breaks into his musty smelling elderly neighbour's house but no one is home, the house is empty except for their pet dog, which runs out onto the road. He realises that the entire neighbourhood is silent except for the dogs. Realising that there is NO ONE anywhere... he hears a sad sounding dog whining.. it has no food. he fosters belonging with the pets in his neighbourhood by checking they all have food, water, etc.

D (redevelopment thereof) - starting to go insane with loneliness, Bill Brown decides to take a proactive approach to making human contact. He borrows an abandoned car on the street, theres no driver but the keys are in the ignition, he drives off towards the Boulevard, 'sees' his son Bob and skids to a halt, hitting his head on the steering wheel, causing severe head trauma, abdominal injuries... And then the harsh midday sunlight strikes his eyes and he comes to and wonders if what he saw was real.

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

I wouldn't write in 2nd person... it's too hard to continue with it. Write in 1st or 3rd.

Noted - I knew it was kind of risky to write in the 2nd person (I wrote a story in the second person one time and it worked really well) but obviously this time it would be better to write in first or third person.

Here was my ratioinale for choosing 2nd person:

• I wanted to make the story apply to anyone who read it, so that the reader felt like they were the protagonist
• The lack of character detail was diliberate (but perhaps not wise) and designed so that the reader could imprint themself onto the character
• This kind of story has been done so many times before that I wanted to make it stand out from the rest

No I will re-work it into first person (to preserve the closeness with the character) - and perhaps provide some more detail with the character.

My thoughts about the character are that he/she (haven't yet decided) should be a teenager because:

• they'd be old enough to be independant
• they'd be young and reckless enough to behave in an interesting manner
• I have experience with being a teenager
  what do you think?

I have already written a first draft of part two so I will post it in its origional 2nd person, but I will repost both sections redone in 1st person tonight or tommorow.

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

Personally I think your best approach would be to tell the story in a D, A, B, C, D order)

That is a good idea, but I think I will go more B, A, C, D, E part B is to grab the attention A to set the scene and then C, D, E to tell the story.

 

[wixxy2348]

No I will re-work it into first person (to preserve the closeness with the character) - and perhaps provide some more detail with the character.

My thoughts about the character are that he/she (haven't yet decided) should be a teenager because:

• they'd be old enough to be independant
• they'd be young and reckless enough to behave in an interesting manner
• I have experience with being a teenager
  what do you think?

If you choose to have a teenage character, I think it's really important that you develop his/her voice enough that it's different from your own. You may find this easier if you choose to make your character the opposite sex to yourself as it means you don't fall into the trap of simply giving the character your own voice. Good luck!

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

If you choose to have a teenage character, I think it's really important that you develop his/her voice enough that it's different from your own. You may find this easier if you choose to make your character the opposite sex to yourself as it means you don't fall into the trap of simply giving the character your own voice. Good luck!

Good idea! In terms of it sounding too much like my voice I created this thread to get other peoples opinions on what they would do - to help mix up the story a bit.

I was sort of leaning towards a female character, but now I definitely will.

thx

 

[UndeadSamurai01]

Here is part 2 in the original 2nd person - I had already written it so I may as well post it, but please be aware that I will post the 1st and 2nd parts in 1st person with some revisions later today or tomorrow.

As you regain conciseness for the second time your memories return immediately, but you feel some how emotionally detached from them, like your brain is running on survival mode. As you pick yourself up you are aware of your injuries, but they don’t trouble you, you just notice them and file that information away. You have a raging thirst – you haven’t had anything to drink since … dinner, two nights ago, with your family, but thinking about them you feel … nothing, you decide the feelings will come later.

You sit down and calmly take stock of your situation making a mental list. [is it OK to have a list? plz comment]
1. You have no serious injuries
2. You are seriously thirsty
3. You haven’t seen another person since yesterday morning
4. There are no bodies and no sign of where anyone went or any disaster
5. You haven’t checked anywhere but a small part of Sydney – this could just be localised
6. The power is still on, you can see lights on in one of the storefront windows.

First things first, you’re thirsty. Normally you would never break into a store. Normally you would have to think long and hard about whether it would be okay to break into a store even under these circumstances, but you’re not thinking ‘normally’ you’re in survival mode and ‘ethics’ never comes into you mind as you swing your fist into the storefront window.

And gasp in pain as your fist glances harmlessly off the glass. As you rub your bruised knuckles you realise this if you injure yourself now, there will be no-one to help you. But you’re thirsty you NEED a drink. Your lips are cracked and your mouth is dry.

Thinking more clearly now you go to the back of your totalled car and get out the tire iron. You take another crack at the window and this time it shatters, satisfyingly. You walk over to the drinks fridge and grab a water, gulping it down greedily. After the second bottle you feel better. You grab a dozen or so bottles and put them in the back of your car. In the boot you notice your laptop, which has survived the crash. Of Corse! Why didn’t you think of that before? You can check the internet – surely someone knows what happened here. You take your laptop back into the shop – some kind of deli – and set it down at a table. Now noticing how hungry you are, you grab some pastries from behind the counter and take them too. In between bites you fire up your computer eager with anticipation to hear from other people almost to the degree that you can’t keep still. The city is so quiet you can hear the hard drive whirring as it starts up.

Logging on to the internet you see … nothing. No news about Sydney going silent or anything out of the ordinary. Puzzled you check the dates on the articles, none of them have been written in the past 36 hours. That’s odd. You search Google for anything created in the last 36 hours and get … 0 hits! That’s impossible …

Unless – this is bigger than you thought. Your heart rises up into your throat and your feel cold all over.

This is Global.

Plz comment - if you have any major corrections, but otherwise remember that the revised copy in coming tonight or tomorrow.

thx for reading.