Spot the Difference... (1 Viewer)

[mreditor16]

Intriguing thread title hey?

So, in my belonging creative, there is a section where the protagonist talks about how the street has changed very little since the last time he was there (approx. 30 years ago).

And currently, the sentence which conveys this is – And as for the street, decades later, Spot the Difference wouldn’t actually yield too many answers.

However, retrospectively, it seems like a strange allusion to convey my idea.

So, do any of you have an idea on how to communicate my idea in a more refined and stylistic manner (subtle if possible) and without drawing on pop culture too much, as I realised I have done above…

Thanks!

 

[mreditor16]

bump!

 

[mirachael]

What did you get for this in your trial? I think its a good allusion but repeating it throughout would be a little awkward. I think you should only say it once, perhaps near the beginning or near the end and make it less clunky. For example:
It seemed as if spot the difference wouldn't yield too many results

 

[mreditor16]

OMG LOL my protagonist talks about how the street has changed so much since she was last there 40+ years ago great minds think alike

I actually like it how it is but I see what you mean about it might not being suitable (simply because you never know what goes through markers heads). I think you should be able to keep this ONLY if this sentence has one whole paragraph all to itself (the joys of creative writing) and that your writing style for the rest of the piece matches (e.g. you're not using an archaic writing style or something...)

If you really do want to change it, please could you tell us one sentence before and one after after this one (you can pm if you dont want to put it up LOL)? I have something in mind but idk if it will fit with the rest of your creative

also are you writing in first person or third person

PMed.

Thanks guys for your help!