flyin' said:
Are you sure? i feel as if i am polluting the thread now rather than adding to it with these jokes, so here's an interesting advert (Im not sure you will be the biggest fan tho, flyin'...):
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"Need a Break?... Are you worried about the future? Let's face it, football is is faster than ever and we all have to think about our lavish lifestyles, after our careers are over. Do you want to leave the rat race, and see your peers do all the work? Are you lazy, and prefer not to work those long days anymore?
Are you looking for an easy life? Yes? Then You Are Eligible For the Chelsea Life Plan!! CFC will pay you at least £50,000 a week, there's a pointless medical, and no sales person will call (or manager for that matter- they will be too busy with the others!). CALL NOW! There's a FREE house, luxury car and limitless golf at some of England's finest courses.
Don't take our word for it, read these recommendations by some of our satisfied clients;
"When I'm no longer playing, I know my family will be financially secure" R. Huth, London.
"I recommend the Chelsea Life Plan to all my family" Wayne, London.
"The Blues' supplemented my payment, just when I thought it was too late. When I checked out I noticed the difference," JSV, Milan.
"I now have the all the time in the world to sort out all those 'incidents' that frequent me at clubs any given Friday night- thanks Chelsea," Carlton, London.
"The generosity of the Chelsea plan is unmatched in the world of finance. It was the best move I ever made" Geremi, Essex.
"Even when everyone said I was not worth it, the Blues were prepared to supplement my pension with an outrageous offer" Michael E., London.
"Who needs to work anyway, and with the Chelsea Life Plan I dont have to" Carlo, London
"In just a year a gained a rest and a huge salary- now I am working better than ever- thanks Blues!" Mateja, Madrid
"I was once an intergral member of a successful working team. Now I am a Chelsea Life Plan Member- I wouldnt have it any other way" Joe, London.
"Despite being permanently injured, I was still eligible for the Life Plan- thank God!" Arjen, London.
"The new Chelsea Life Plan looks nothing like what I experienced. It looks as if I missed out on a payday" G. Zola, Cagliari.
"Chelsea is for me doing it" SWP, Swindon.
"I just get the satisfaction in seeing the looks of the guys faces when they collect their pay check... and if the Chelsea Life Plan offer is not good enough, I am willing to 'liase' with our creditor for you (I need a dry cleaners fee for my trousers and for a bottle of Listerine though)" P. Kenyon, London
So don't stay there worrying about having to make weekly appearances at your current jobs-RELAX-That phone will ring!! The Chelsea life plan is funded by R. Abramovich and the hundreds of million of Russians that he has rorted! Just overprice yourself in the market and we will see to it that you become a Chelsea Life Plan Member!"
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