This has recently become my no.1 hate in the world. Yet im powerless against it.
It all started when a friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend, and then asked "Do you like her?" "pfft no, why?" "oh no reason" and i didnt. but my mind started thinking and going around in circles and decided without going thru me "oh yes i do like her". Fuck.
Months later. After i had been falling for her for a while. Most of my close guy friends know by now including ^ that friend, but he doesnt mind, he hates her lol. One of my other close mates asks "oooh you have liked her for a long time and you seem to be getting closer and then further and then closer and then further and now closer to her, maybe your in looooooove" he says seriously. "Pfft no, fuck i hate that word, i havent even kissed her yet." But my mind started going round in circles again, you would do almost anything for her, you cant stop thinking about her, blah blah all that other lovey dovey crap. SO my mind goes and convinces me that im in "love" pfft.
Then, before i asked her out, im now one of her closest friends. I go away for a week to the blue mountains with my dad. I use this time to think hard. I slap myself and realise, WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU ARENT IN LOVE WITH HER YOU IDIOT. And wake myself up, pity though now, one of my friends has already just about asked her out for me while i was gone and went on about this "love" crap and how i felt for her ad she said no again (i asked her out the first week i was getting to know her too, and told her i had no more feelings for her when she said no). Im back now and its going to be so fucking awkward when i go out to a party and shes there thinking that im some weirdo loser or something. I only wish to be her friend, i have absolutely no feelings for her whatsoever...
Until. My best friend says, "oh i recon you are lying, you cant get over someone that fast, you must still have feelings for her" And there we go again, my mind is now, behind my back, contemplating that "maybe we/i/he does still have feelings for her"
And the slapping myself isnt working anymore.
It all started when a friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend, and then asked "Do you like her?" "pfft no, why?" "oh no reason" and i didnt. but my mind started thinking and going around in circles and decided without going thru me "oh yes i do like her". Fuck.
Months later. After i had been falling for her for a while. Most of my close guy friends know by now including ^ that friend, but he doesnt mind, he hates her lol. One of my other close mates asks "oooh you have liked her for a long time and you seem to be getting closer and then further and then closer and then further and now closer to her, maybe your in looooooove" he says seriously. "Pfft no, fuck i hate that word, i havent even kissed her yet." But my mind started going round in circles again, you would do almost anything for her, you cant stop thinking about her, blah blah all that other lovey dovey crap. SO my mind goes and convinces me that im in "love" pfft.
Then, before i asked her out, im now one of her closest friends. I go away for a week to the blue mountains with my dad. I use this time to think hard. I slap myself and realise, WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU ARENT IN LOVE WITH HER YOU IDIOT. And wake myself up, pity though now, one of my friends has already just about asked her out for me while i was gone and went on about this "love" crap and how i felt for her ad she said no again (i asked her out the first week i was getting to know her too, and told her i had no more feelings for her when she said no). Im back now and its going to be so fucking awkward when i go out to a party and shes there thinking that im some weirdo loser or something. I only wish to be her friend, i have absolutely no feelings for her whatsoever...
Until. My best friend says, "oh i recon you are lying, you cant get over someone that fast, you must still have feelings for her" And there we go again, my mind is now, behind my back, contemplating that "maybe we/i/he does still have feelings for her"
And the slapping myself isnt working anymore.