The Ship has sailed, my friends! (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter TheStudent
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TheStudent
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Well I do a science/arts degree. That's all im sayin.
SeCKSiiMiNh
i'm a fireball in bed
that's me!!!well not with that attitude !just look for someone that smiles at you. or someone standing by themselves looking lonely ( theres always one of those ! ) and just go up and say hi. and just be confident. confidence is the key
SeCKSiiMiNh
i'm a fireball in bed
i agree. you need to look confident!
shoulder's back, chest high, feet apart, heads up.... and STRUT YOUR STUFF
TheStudent
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How do I not sound nervous when I talk? I always sound nervous and then I think I mumble a bit. No wonder everyone hates me.Just act natural man.
Uni is a clean slate for all of us so just flow with confidence and you're on your way
q3thefish
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q3thefish
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Bro, you need a confidence boost.
You 18 yet? Hit the verandah bar @ elizabeth street for a night and you're set.
TheStudent
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Yeah I'm 18. I've never been out though (dont have friends lol)
I think going to a club with no friends would be awkward though.
q3thefish
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SeCKSiiMiNh
i'm a fireball in bed
don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. just walk and be real open. and be genuine and down-to-earth. when i engage in a convo with people, i'm very talkative and i always get them to laugh at jokes that i make. (or maybe they're laughing at my flamboyant behavior?...) the point is, build a rapport with them and you're on your way.
it wasn't easy the first time for me, cus i got SNOBBED, so i was discouraged, but its easy. and people generally are friendly.
its a shame your not at my uni. i would've dragged you out of your shell!
+ 1
=d
Lou283
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I haven't made any close friends yet, mostly because the people I talk too and sit next to in my lectures and tutorials all study other degrees and are just in that class with me and we never have breaks together. Just sit down next to someone who is on their own or just next to someone waiting to go into a room. I always just start with, so what degree are you doing? and how are you finding it so far.
I have also been told from friends who have already done uni that sometimes you don't meet friends till semester 2 because thats when ppl who are still with their high school friends start to see less and less of each other and start looking for new friends.
I have also been told from friends who have already done uni that sometimes you don't meet friends till semester 2 because thats when ppl who are still with their high school friends start to see less and less of each other and start looking for new friends.
^ Very true. I'm REALLY quiet and had no proper friends for my first two semesters of being a first year (course change..long story). But suddenly in the second semester people in tutes would say 'oh you were in my tute last semester' and I was thinking 'oh okay I didn't notice you at all heh' but eventually just got to know people in my tutorials.
What you've got to accept is that you will never have the same kind of friends you had at highschool. Uni friends are in different courses, years and have completely different timetables so you won't be sitting with them every lunchtime.
Group work will force you to meet all kinds of people, and you'll know instantly whether you like them or not. There's also the odd tutor that will make you do 'get to know you' exercises that force you to talk to people you often wouldn't. People often sit in the same spots each class too, so start chatting to those around you.
ETA: Just don't be annoying. A guy was 40mins late to a lecture, sat next to me, asked how to open the table thingy, asked what subject is was, asked if he'd missed much...and I must've looked pretty unfriendly as he pissed off soon after. As long as you're not talking during a lecture, I'd be your friend
What you've got to accept is that you will never have the same kind of friends you had at highschool. Uni friends are in different courses, years and have completely different timetables so you won't be sitting with them every lunchtime.
Group work will force you to meet all kinds of people, and you'll know instantly whether you like them or not. There's also the odd tutor that will make you do 'get to know you' exercises that force you to talk to people you often wouldn't. People often sit in the same spots each class too, so start chatting to those around you.
ETA: Just don't be annoying. A guy was 40mins late to a lecture, sat next to me, asked how to open the table thingy, asked what subject is was, asked if he'd missed much...and I must've looked pretty unfriendly as he pissed off soon after. As long as you're not talking during a lecture, I'd be your friend
Dude the ship has most certainly NOT sailed already hahaha. I'm going into second year now and I still meet new people all the time. Sure most of them don't go on to become good friends, but enough do.
No one knows you, no one knows that you were the "loner" at highschool, unless you tell them (I wouldn't). No one will know that you don't have many friends either, people don't really have reputations at uni, there's just too many people at uni for everyone to know everyone. You're just another face, judged no higher or lower than anyone else. If you've met someone new and you don't seem to be getting on naturally with them... then just try again with someone else. People will still be open to making new friends even in the middle of the semester. Be confident and you'll have just as much a chance as anyone else of making friends.
Also as you begin to specialise, you will see a lot more of people in your same major and you will notice that you are taking quite a few classes with some of the same people. For example for me, I made about 4 or 5 friends in Informatics 1.
2 or 3 of them didn't continue with informatics 2, and I haven't really seen them since. Then I made another 4-5 friends in Informatics 2, some of whom I actually noticed in Informatics 1 but never met. Now in programming the machine, a second year subject, I already have around 7-8 friends, out of about 100 people in the subject. I'll probably meet a few more people this semester, and by the time I graduate I'll probably be friends with half of the Computer Science graduates.
Its not like highschool at all, campus is so big and theres so many people that you tend to have a lot of aquaintances and less very good friends.
No one knows you, no one knows that you were the "loner" at highschool, unless you tell them (I wouldn't). No one will know that you don't have many friends either, people don't really have reputations at uni, there's just too many people at uni for everyone to know everyone. You're just another face, judged no higher or lower than anyone else. If you've met someone new and you don't seem to be getting on naturally with them... then just try again with someone else. People will still be open to making new friends even in the middle of the semester. Be confident and you'll have just as much a chance as anyone else of making friends.
Also as you begin to specialise, you will see a lot more of people in your same major and you will notice that you are taking quite a few classes with some of the same people. For example for me, I made about 4 or 5 friends in Informatics 1.
2 or 3 of them didn't continue with informatics 2, and I haven't really seen them since. Then I made another 4-5 friends in Informatics 2, some of whom I actually noticed in Informatics 1 but never met. Now in programming the machine, a second year subject, I already have around 7-8 friends, out of about 100 people in the subject. I'll probably meet a few more people this semester, and by the time I graduate I'll probably be friends with half of the Computer Science graduates.
Its not like highschool at all, campus is so big and theres so many people that you tend to have a lot of aquaintances and less very good friends.
flyingKangaroo
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I moved up to Brisbane for Uni and know absolutely noone so I feel I'm somewhat in the same boat. Going to OWeek, I expected to instantly make friends and be happy - didn't happen. After a few days I felt really down and worried I'd never meet anyone rah rah rah. The next day I talked to like five different people and it felt great!
Once classes started, it was back to not really knowing anyone since the people I'd met were doing different degrees. That being said, standing waiting for lectures in first week was a perfect opportunity - go up, be like 'hey is this *insert course name*?' then get the ball rolling and ask basic questions, where you from, what are you studying, rah rah rah and then things will just flow. If not, don't worry! Next lecture you can talk to a completely different person! One girl I talked to before my very first lecture was in the same position as me so we got along well, and when our second lecture came around yesterday we were chatting like old friends and sat next to each other again. Sure, I didn't see her all last week after the lecture, but it's great knowing there's someone in that class.
Also, tutes only started for me this week (and I've only had one so far) but I met another girl who moved here from really close to where I used to live, so we bonded over that and not knowing anyone and stuff. And since tutes are all about interaction it's easy to pick out people you think you'd get along with so then if you see them around campus you can always stop to say hi.
I also take a language class which is really interactive so we're all pretty close already which is great since you meet heaps of different people and find ones who are doing the same classes/degrees - one guy in my French class is in two other classes so we arranged to get the same tute so we both knew someone.
But yeah, I guess my point is, just put yourself out there socially. I'm pretty shy too but I just told myself if I'm going to enjoy uni I've gotta get out of my comfort zone and make the first move, since everyone else is probs just as nervous! Like others have said, right now everyone is really an 'acquaintance' as opposed to 'friend', but mature friendships take time to build.
Finally, if it makes you feel any better - it has for me atleast - take a look around when you walk around campus. There are heaps of people walking by themselves, sitting by themselves, eating by themselves and so on. It's not like school where you're going to be with your group and know everyones names and you're labelled the loner if you're by yourself - noone at uni cares.
And wow sorry that was so long, just a topic I feel I can relate to and don't want to see you beating yourself up over it!
Once classes started, it was back to not really knowing anyone since the people I'd met were doing different degrees. That being said, standing waiting for lectures in first week was a perfect opportunity - go up, be like 'hey is this *insert course name*?' then get the ball rolling and ask basic questions, where you from, what are you studying, rah rah rah and then things will just flow. If not, don't worry! Next lecture you can talk to a completely different person! One girl I talked to before my very first lecture was in the same position as me so we got along well, and when our second lecture came around yesterday we were chatting like old friends and sat next to each other again. Sure, I didn't see her all last week after the lecture, but it's great knowing there's someone in that class.
Also, tutes only started for me this week (and I've only had one so far) but I met another girl who moved here from really close to where I used to live, so we bonded over that and not knowing anyone and stuff. And since tutes are all about interaction it's easy to pick out people you think you'd get along with so then if you see them around campus you can always stop to say hi.
I also take a language class which is really interactive so we're all pretty close already which is great since you meet heaps of different people and find ones who are doing the same classes/degrees - one guy in my French class is in two other classes so we arranged to get the same tute so we both knew someone.
But yeah, I guess my point is, just put yourself out there socially. I'm pretty shy too but I just told myself if I'm going to enjoy uni I've gotta get out of my comfort zone and make the first move, since everyone else is probs just as nervous! Like others have said, right now everyone is really an 'acquaintance' as opposed to 'friend', but mature friendships take time to build.
Finally, if it makes you feel any better - it has for me atleast - take a look around when you walk around campus. There are heaps of people walking by themselves, sitting by themselves, eating by themselves and so on. It's not like school where you're going to be with your group and know everyones names and you're labelled the loner if you're by yourself - noone at uni cares.
And wow sorry that was so long, just a topic I feel I can relate to and don't want to see you beating yourself up over it!
SSRabbitohs2009
28:06:42:12
Yeah, I suss'd out the people that were by themselves, and during my prac I went up to them and said 'Hi, quick question: did we have to print off any notes for this?' and then take it from there.
If you'd like to travel to Cumberland (considering you're at Sydney), I'd be your friend
If you'd like to travel to Cumberland (considering you're at Sydney), I'd be your friend