Yeah, the rave scene is usually poorly done. A girl at my school did it a few years ago and her pip was about 4 pages long and it basically said, "Stereotypes are right, drugs are taken at raves." haha. But I think your sounds interesting and the idea of bias is a different approach, so should be fine
My pip is explores whether the imagination of contemporary Australian children is gendered and how imagination, specifically imaginative play, reflects traditional or contemporary gender roles (or a blurring of both). It also delves a bit into cognitive theory, social mores, power and authority structures and the nature/nurture debate. Argh, so many more elements to consider, but that's just the basics so far.