What do you think of my creative writing idea? (1 Viewer)

[Miscbrah]

Heres an idea i've had for my short story

Man is homeless, approached by scientist, scientist awares him of DMT (drug that sends u into a psychedlic state), dreams of a parallel universe where everything is opposite - he is appreciated and respected as a homeless person (belongs with this society), blacks out from this dream and returns back to normal state, goes back the next day and wants to try it again, drug doesnt send him into the same psychedlic state, fin.

Any critiques??? I wasnt given a good mark on my draft...is the idea ok? how can i improve it?

also have a few more ideas...

- Boy doesnt feel like he belongs, fights with brother/family, escapes to nature to conform with animals, they reject him (running away, attacking him etc.), he runs away again and gets lost and trapped in a hole, brother finds him and resolve their conflicts...the message being - its not where you belong but who you belong with.

- Boy lives in a society that resorts to "sameness" (removes emotions etc.), he meets a special elder who isn't the same as everyone else, offers him to inherit freedom/power, he doesnt know what to choose and thus faces a dilemma...

What do you guys think i should go with? my original idea and try to fix that up so it follows the concept of 'belonging' more or should i just work with the other 2 ideas? I kind of have an idea which i want to go with but i want to see what you guys think as another perspective will really help me figure out whether these concepts are cliche, unoriginal or whatnot.

 

[EinstenICEBERG]

haha yr kinda like me thinking of sci fiction and all those . but why didnt u get a good mark on yr draft?

 

[EinstenICEBERG]

im trying to make animal human personifcation.
where the human dies becomes an animal and still experiences his OLD MEMORIES =)

 

[mirakon]

Heres an idea i've had for my short story

Man is homeless, approached by scientist, scientist awares him of DMT (drug that sends u into a psychedlic state), dreams of a parallel universe where everything is opposite - he is appreciated and respected as a homeless person (belongs with this society), blacks out from this dream and returns back to normal state, goes back the next day and wants to try it again, drug doesnt send him into the same psychedlic state, fin.

Any critiques??? I wasnt given a good mark on my draft...is the idea ok? how can i improve it?

also have a few more ideas...

- Boy doesnt feel like he belongs, fights with brother/family, escapes to nature to conform with animals, they reject him (running away, attacking him etc.), he runs away again and gets lost and trapped in a hole, brother finds him and resolve their conflicts...the message being - its not where you belong but who you belong with.

- Boy lives in a society that resorts to "sameness" (removes emotions etc.), he meets a special elder who isn't the same as everyone else, offers him to inherit freedom/power, he doesnt know what to choose and thus faces a dilemma...

What do you guys think i should go with? my original idea and try to fix that up so it follows the concept of 'belonging' more or should i just work with the other 2 ideas? I kind of have an idea which i want to go with but i want to see what you guys think as another perspective will really help me figure out whether these concepts are cliche, unoriginal or whatnot.

um......i don't mean to be rude but in all honesty I think you need to explore more complex notions of belonging. The whole "i'm poor and an outcast from society" thing has been done quite a bit. Maybe you could keep the idea of the story, but play around with the notions of belonging you explore?

 

[madharris]

I think it's a good starting point but you should try and expand your ideas more.
You also have to try and think of how you can adapt it to various questions/stimuli

 

[Eduard_Khil]

All cliche, do something original, something no-one else thinks of.
English teachers often to tell you to think outside the box, when writing essays, short answer responses and examining texts. what they really want you to do, is actually to regurgitate all the shit they taught you.
Whereas in creative writing, you have that chance to be original, choose something no-one else can. Easiest one would be taking a place in time from your memory, no-one else shares the exact same memory and feelings you had for a particular place, write it down somewhere, using enough techniques to get your marks here and there.
Making up sci-fi stories are great, but most of the time, your ideas, even though altered, are still derived from some place else, or whether or not you decided to mix to elements of sci-fi you found from different places, keep in mind that many people do this, and by the time you do it, the cycle may have already repeated itself many times before.
Be original don't be pussy.

 

[mirakon]

All cliche, do something original, something no-one else thinks of.
English teachers often to tell you to think outside the box, when writing essays, short answer responses and examining texts. what they really want you to do, is actually to regurgitate all the shit they taught you.
Whereas in creative writing, you have that chance to be original, choose something no-one else can. Easiest one would be taking a place in time from your memory, no-one else shares the exact same memory and feelings you had for a particular place, write it down somewhere, using enough techniques to get your marks here and there.
Making up sci-fi stories are great, but most of the time, your ideas, even though altered, are still derived from some place else, or whether or not you decided to mix to elements of sci-fi you found from different places, keep in mind that many people do this, and by the time you do it, the cycle may have already repeated itself many times before.
Be original don't be pussy.

Your name and dp is unoriginal tbh