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What is so good about being a virgin? (2 Viewers)

Captain Hero

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panpeter said:
I personally think taking their virginity is the most selfish thing you can do for your GF/BF. I know that i want my Wife to be a virgin when i marry her, and i will abstain as well. as far as i understand and have heard, everyone remembers their first time(and i think if you cant because their has been so many different partners there are bigger issues). and so wouldnt it be great if your first time was with a life long partner. I for one struggle in abstaining because it is hard, i mean its pretty easy to lose your vrginity, just go and do it, alot of people will be more than happy to have sex, just look in the right places. So why not have your first time with someone who you have commited to. A women finds Sex more pleasurable when she feels secure in a relationship, if you differ then i tell you a BF GF relationship in todays society is obviously not secure. And a man finds sex more stimulating when the women enjoys it more(get my meaning?). what does that then lead to? have sex with your girlfriend who you will break up with, most people think they will stay together forever and get married later in life, my question, if youre going to stay together forever why not get married? oh woops, doubt seeps in and your nice words fade away. then some time down the track you brake up, go your seperate ways, and sorry for my cinicism, they become someone who is left in that time, you drift apart, and all the "good time" seems so worthless, just something you did back then.

I for one would like to abstain till marriage and never divorce, that preciousness and security and lasting love wont be lost on me.

thats what i know to be true. anyone agree?
Read: I have a tiny dick and i"m self conscious and also I'm shit in bed.
 

random p3rson

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yeah well thats a very nice fairy tale concept. but the fact of the matter is, things dont just work out perfectly with one girl so easily. Nothing wrong with being a virgin by choice i guess. but a lot of guys seem to use it as an excuse. I dont think theres anything wrong with losing it to someone you love at the time. besides you never know if you will divorce with your marriage partner.
 
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Born Dancer

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panpeter said:
I personally think taking their virginity is the most selfish thing you can do for your GF/BF. I know that i want my Wife to be a virgin when i marry her, and i will abstain as well. as far as i understand and have heard, everyone remembers their first time(and i think if you cant because their has been so many different partners there are bigger issues). and so wouldnt it be great if your first time was with a life long partner. I for one struggle in abstaining because it is hard, i mean its pretty easy to lose your vrginity, just go and do it, alot of people will be more than happy to have sex, just look in the right places. So why not have your first time with someone who you have commited to.
Why does life long partner and that kind of commitment only arise out of marriage for you? What about couples who have been in a relationship for decades but choose not to get married? You can hardly say that they are any less committed to eachother just because they are unmarried?

A women finds Sex more pleasurable when she feels secure in a relationship, if you differ then i tell you a BF GF relationship in todays society is obviously not secure. And a man finds sex more stimulating when the women enjoys it more(get my meaning?). what does that then lead to? have sex with your girlfriend who you will break up with, most people think they will stay together forever and get married later in life, my question, if youre going to stay together forever why not get married?
Again, why does security have to come from being in a married relationship and not any other form of lasting partnership? Stop generalising. Sure there are a lot of couples who do break up, but there are a lot who don't?

I dont think there is a problem with thinking you will stay forever and getting married later because I think that the longer you stay together with someone you will know whether or not you want to take the next step in marriage? It is hardly sensible to get married at sixteen or younger with your first bf just because you think youll be together forever because a lot of couples at that age and in their first relationships think that.

I'll add in here that there are some people who do manage to stay with their first partners and get married.

oh woops, doubt seeps in and your nice words fade away. then some time down the track you brake up, go your seperate ways, and sorry for my cinicism, they become someone who is left in that time, you drift apart, and all the "good time" seems so worthless, just something you did back then.
I for one would like to abstain till marriage and never divorce, that preciousness and security and lasting love wont be lost on me.
Um. Relationships can still fail after marriage? I love that you seem to think that marriage will make everything perfect and you will never encounter any problems and never divorce because you will be married. Ha! how naive. If you do get married and you encounter problems, what then? What about all the security? Do you continue in an unhappy marriage just because you value it as a concept?

I don't care that you want to abstain, but I get really annoyed with people who argue that having meaningful sex is equatable to marriage only and not lasting relationships outside of that. Why is it that so many people seem to think that 'true love' is something that arises once you get married? Don't people who get married do so because they love each other in the first place?
 

black_kat_meow

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panpeter said:
I personally think taking their virginity is the most selfish thing you can do for your GF/BF. I know that i want my Wife to be a virgin when i marry her, and i will abstain as well. as far as i understand and have heard, everyone remembers their first time(and i think if you cant because their has been so many different partners there are bigger issues). and so wouldnt it be great if your first time was with a life long partner. I for one struggle in abstaining because it is hard, i mean its pretty easy to lose your vrginity, just go and do it, alot of people will be more than happy to have sex, just look in the right places. So why not have your first time with someone who you have commited to. A women finds Sex more pleasurable when she feels secure in a relationship, if you differ then i tell you a BF GF relationship in todays society is obviously not secure. And a man finds sex more stimulating when the women enjoys it more(get my meaning?). what does that then lead to? have sex with your girlfriend who you will break up with, most people think they will stay together forever and get married later in life, my question, if youre going to stay together forever why not get married? oh woops, doubt seeps in and your nice words fade away. then some time down the track you brake up, go your seperate ways, and sorry for my cinicism, they become someone who is left in that time, you drift apart, and all the "good time" seems so worthless, just something you did back then.

I for one would like to abstain till marriage and never divorce, that preciousness and security and lasting love wont be lost on me.

thats what i know to be true. anyone agree?
Dude, who says you look back and go "wow, sex was crap because I didn't stay forever with that person"?

I have a sexual relationship with my boyfriend who I've been together with for 2 years. That was only after I felt completely comfortable and trusting of him. If we break up, I won't regret doing these things, because it's about discovering yourself as a person as well, becoming totally intimate with someone. But it doesn't mean I will sleep around with everyone as you save-it-'til-marriage avocates imply.

I used to think like you people, that it'll never be that special again, that you're "ruined", but I've grown up a bit since then. It's not that simple.

Also, I don't it has any more value in marriage, as divorce rates are so high anyway. Why should I just "get married" then, because I'm in a loving relationship? I don't believe it's necessary.

PS What if your wife wants to get divorced, lol, even if you don't?
 

aimhigh10

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save yourself for the person you truly love and not some youthful dickhead who will dump you one second later
 

suchi29

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UPTO THE INDIVIDUAL.. derz no reason to be ashamed or full proud of it

XD we're all sexmachines don't worry.. its in the human blood :D
 

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aimhigh10 said:
save yourself for the person you truly love and not some youthful dickhead who will dump you one second later
just dump him straight after, and say that if he tells anyone you did it youll tell everyone he has a tiny penis.
 

sportylake

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well a majority of people i know who shag either hate themselves when they realised what an idiot/slut their girlfriend/boyfriend was, and when u break up it just makes u feel bad. Also heaps of people say that shagging before marriage means there is nothing new when u do get married, taking the gloss of it. Cant say ive ever been married though so i wouldnt know!
 

panpeter

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None of my friends who were virgins when they got married regretted it at all. Intimacy with one person is beter than with everyone, that defeats the purpose of intimacy altogether. its like saying tennis is intimate because its only with one person at a time. But meanwhile youve done it with so many people that it doesnt matter who anymore.
 

Born Dancer

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Why do you keep assuming that more than one partner = promiscuity? what about those people who go through their lives in two or three serious and lengthy relationships? i hardly think intimacy loses its effect in that kind of situation.

You also seem to keep forgetting that you can actually have a valuable and long lasting relationship having sex and being unmarried? i think you are far too quick to assume that all unmarried couples who are having regular sex are going to break up
 

Enteebee

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So intimacy is all about sharing something really special with another person? So if I have sex with other people... but save anal for the one I love, does that mean I've saved intimacy? I really don't see the need to consider any form of sex the ultimate act of love.
 

sportylake

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U know as much as christians think they are all goody goody (im a christian just so u know) i know ALOT of christians who have had sex before marriage. The majority of population do. Me however, i wish to save that for my marriage so that it offers something new. Im sure i wont regret it either...
 

panpeter

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I think the only reason to marry is for religious reasons. What is the point at all to get married if you arent a christian.think bout it, its a very expensive procedure and it doesnt give you many benifits over a defacto relationship.

I for one am a Christian and the bible clearly speaks against fornication. And so while im not perfect and also have desires, i will do all in my power to stay a virgin till marriage.

Thanks sportylake for you veiws. Except i didnt fully understand that first part.
 
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You can get married outside of a religious institution.

It doesn't cost that much money to get the certificates written up and signed.
 
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*TRUE* said:
Im a Christian , i try to live according to my beliefs but i dont expect virginity in anyone else , not even potential partners.
Get over the virginity issue, everyone. Its good to do if you want to do it , its not hurting anyone.
True to yourself, true to everybody else and true to god?
 

Riet

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panpeter said:
None of my friends who were virgins when they got married regretted it at all. Intimacy with one person is beter than with everyone, that defeats the purpose of intimacy altogether. its like saying tennis is intimate because its only with one person at a time. But meanwhile youve done it with so many people that it doesnt matter who anymore.
ya but you're never gonna beat venus is you can't beat sharapova, ivanovic (especially ivanovic), hautchenakova, etc.
 

supercalamari

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Virginity is just a social construct, and for some women a physical one. Who really honestly cares.
 

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