What's so good about marriage? (1 Viewer)

[Hollieee]

Speaking of marriage, my bf has be brought up to think it's silly and unneccessary. (His mother actually told me it was stupid and that if I only wanted it for the dress I should just have a deb ball coz my dad would 'pay for a dress for me', lol heaps rude). But anyway, its important to me and I intend to get married, and he's actually said that if it was important to his partner he'd be willing to do it to make them happy. And then went on to talk about it in regards to me and all that mushy stuff that doesn't need to be shared lol. And I was just wondering if that was a good thing? That he'd do it to make me happy even though it's not a huge deal for him. Its really sweet and all, but... I dunno, sorry if this is coming across as stupid, I just don't know how to properly phrase my concerns, lol.

 

[*Baby-K*]

They put people like you in the western suburbs.

what's that supposed to mean?

 

[*Baby-K*]

gosh a lot of you are stupid.
of course it doesn't mean anything to people who marry divorce and remarry all the time. but to the rest it means a lot because it shows commitment.

you people in this thread who don't see any importance in marriage, you are in the first group. divorce is all around you and you see it as a way out whenever problems arise. marriage is never going to mean anything to you, so STOP LOOKING for an answer.

and if your partner is always talking about marriage and stuff, its just showing that he/she is insecure and desperate to try to keep you. ew.

Not necessarily, you are stupid if you think that you should just stay with the person because 'marriage is important and you must work things out because divorce is not an option'. So many people stay together for ie. children's sake and live unhappy lives- is it really worth it?
You are contradicting yourself saying that some of us are stupid and obviously to you marriage is important- so when you start talking about marriage with your partner does that make you "insecure and desperate to try to keep her"

 

[44Ronin]

what's that supposed to mean?

Single mother on welfare.

 

[*Baby-K*]

Single mother on welfare.

Who says I am gonna be one of them lol I am not actually plannin to divorce. I am just thinkin clearly and don't live in a fairy land where it's not an option

 

[GOD ALMIGHTY]

Well you get a ring and a party and presents and shoes and a dress...

nigger please, stop trying to cover up for the fact that no one would want to marry you by claiming to detest marriage.

 

[Riet]

i suppose that mebbe there's more of a guarantee that they'll be faithful to you over a longer period of time, although that's probably not all that true any moar

mebbe

that wasn't true ever. As long as there has been marriage there have been affairs.

 

[Iron]

Yes, but there are overwhelmingly more affairs within cohabiting/unmarried relationships. Marriage still has a lot of pull when it comes to enforcing social norms for the good of society, because imported into it is the public and private expectation of fidelity. This barely exists outside of marriage

 

[Nebuchanezzar]

Yes, but there are overwhelmingly more affairs within cohabiting/unmarried relationships. Marriage still has a lot of pull when it comes to enforcing social norms for the good of society, because imported into it is the public and private expectation of fidelity. This barely exists outside of marriage

shuttup ponce

 

[*Baby-K*]

Woah do you guys really think that just by marrying someone it means that they are less likely to cheat etc?

Ever heard of the expression- The ring doesn't close the hole?

 

[latvia]

marriage:
it's not about the sense of belonging. it's about escaping the potential loneliness that could bug you from not getting married. we are all running away from something, except something we don't think we already have.

 

[latvia]

what am i escaping from? i'm not escaping from anything. i'm simply hurting people. perhaps mental hospitals are the only place for me.. I'm sorry I hurt you

 

[sam04u]

Marriage in my opinion is a commitment to stay with one person for the rest of your life, in front of all your loved ones and family. Which is why the vegas (2 witness) marriages are kinda meh.

 

[want2bdifferent]

From a christian perspective:
You are committing to one person for the rest of your life, before God, family and friends, i think it is a great thing

I am not going to stick around and argue though

 

[Elephants]

AHAHAHA, I once spoke to this Asian guy when I was waiting at a bus stop who was so against marriage that it was HILARIOUS.

This is how the convo went:

me: "yo"
"hi"
(mind you, he was fresh off the plane, so he didn't speak english well, which made it all the more funny)
"where are you off to?"
"to see girlfriend. i think she wanna marry me" (he sounded real pissed)
"that's good isn't it?"
"NO! Fink about cost of wedding, what if we divorce? what then? I no get money back for wedding, and she take half my house"
"so you're on your way to tell her that you don't want to get married to her?"
"no, i wanna break up wif her."

Anyway, the convo went on and I found out the guy had been with the girl for 5 years! How long did this cunt expect the girl to hold off for? Didn't he expect this to happen?

So yeah, the guy broke up with his long term girlfriend because he didn't want to waste money on a wedding.

EDIT: Which is a fair enough reason if you ask me.

 

[Iron]

Woah do you guys really think that just by marrying someone it means that they are less likely to cheat etc?

Ever heard of the expression- The ring doesn't close the hole?

The point is that marriage is a public institution associated with a variety of social expectations like fidelity and care.
For a cohabiting couple, no one can say how serious their relationship is but them - and each partner's interpretations invariably differ. They are not committed to grand external ideals, but short-term selfish interest - once it gets too hard and complicated, watch how fast they go

 

[Elephants]

The point is that marriage is a public institution associated with a variety of social expectations like fidelity and care.
For a cohabiting couple, no one can say how serious their relationship is but them - and each partner's interpretations invariably differ. They are not committed to grand external ideals, but short-term selfish interest - once it gets too hard and complicated, watch how fast they go

Yes, but people don't usually adhere to social expectations. <-- Like this man.

 

[Pace_T]

Not necessarily, you are stupid if you think that you should just stay with the person because 'marriage is important and you must work things out because divorce is not an option'. So many people stay together for ie. children's sake and live unhappy lives- is it really worth it?

i was careful not to say that. divorce is always an option. i dont disagree that its stupid for a person to stay in the marriage when they shouldn't. but that doesn't change my point. some people rely on divorce and see it as an option before they decide to get married. you don't seem to understand this...

You are contradicting yourself saying that some of us are stupid and obviously to you marriage is important- so when you start talking about marriage with your partner does that make you "insecure and desperate to try to keep her"

um wot? i dont talk about marriage with my partner.

the majority of second marriages end up in divorce, and it keeps going up for 3rd, 4th etc. enjoy your happy life surrounded by divorce and court cases. :wave:

 

[f e a r l e s s]

I want to know what you can get out of marriage that you can't get from a long lasting partnership with someone. I'm not at all opposed to marriage or opposed to those who choose to marry, I'm sick of people spouting that commitment, security and loves can only be found in married couples.

Arguments ahoy!

I Fucking Agree.

Born Dancer, God bless your soul

 

[Kwayera]

Find the stats yourself. Married couples make happier, healthier, wealthier, better people with better kids

How does one quantify "better" with "stats"?