Anti-Jokes (1 Viewer)

[Zrap]

What's the difference between a cat and a dog?
One goes meow the other goes woof.

 

[Zrap]

that's pretty much the point of the joke, me thinks.

I know, me know

 

[crestor]

Whats the difference between a ferrari and ten dead babies?
I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

haha love dead baby jokes...

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?

Stick a javelin through it's head.

What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?

Stopping it with a shovel.

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?

5 1/2

 

[HanT]

haha love dead baby jokes...

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?

Stick a javelin through it's head.

What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h?

Stopping it with a shovel.

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?

5 1/2

Its so bad...yet I admit I LOLed!!

 

[crestor]

father elephant, a mother elephant and a baby elephant were walking in a jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.

The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the way. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your back would snap." They knew another route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.

The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the second route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your legs would snap." They knew a third route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.

The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the third route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?" but the adult elephants replied "No, your trunk would snap." They knew a fourth route to the drinking pond and got there. They drank and had a very fun and elephanty day.

The next day the elephants were walking in the jungle. Suddenly they felt thirsty and went to the drinking pond. They saw a fallen down tree on the fourth route too. The father elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The mother elephant tried to lift the tree, but didn't have the strenght. The baby elephant asked "Can I try to lift the tree?". The adult elephants replied: "okay. You can try to lift the tree."

The baby elephant tried, and it's back, legs and trunk snapped.

 

[lionking1191]

How do you stop a baby from crawling around and around in circles?

Nail the other hand to the floor.

You might think its not an anti-joke but it is an anti-baby-joke

there's the REAL anti-joke

 

[lionking1191]

WTF IS A WILLYTOP
</o>

neat.

 

[Zrap]

A guy walked into a bar and met a drop-dead gorgeous girl.
The funeral is held in a few weeks time.

 

[Dreck]

What's big and blue, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

The Pacific Ocean.

 

[Darnie]

There were two hippopotomus' sitting in mud. Jill was on the left, and Joan was on the right. Suddenly, Jill leaned over to Joan and exclaims: "I keep thinking its tuesday!"

how do you make a cat gow woof?
soak it in petrol and ignite it with a match.

How do you make a dog go meow?
freeze it for 2 days then put it through a band saw.

 

[bomber650]

how do you get 10 babies in a bucket?

blender...

how do you get 10 babies out of a bucket?

doritos...

...............................................................

 

[Epistemophobia]

What's big and blue, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

The Pacific Ocean.

Oh. Now thats good right there.

 

[risole91]

Heard this one today, mass lol's.

Whats the difference between lance armstrong and michael jackson?

Lance went to space, michael fucks little kids.

from zoo.

 

[Cramkid]

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
The police. Your entire family was killed in a car wreck.