Do your parents approve? (2 Viewers)

[テリー]

Yes, they do approve, mainly because they think im still too young and cant go that far to marrying some1 at my age (16 nd 1/2)
But whenever i introduce my (new) gf, to them they jst say hi nd b polite and all that, ask a bit of stuff about them nd change the topic like "oh we nid to go to go shopping so y dont u guys have fun til we come back" or something like that.
Then once we r home, my mum asks a few questions nd then drops it,
Dad makes a comment about her looks nd thats about it LOL.
So they do care a lil nd the only thing they tell me is not to make baby(ies)
nd make sure i study at the same time

So yea, they do approve nd they care a lil bit

 

[Casmira]

My mum's in complete denial about my boyfriend, because "I'm too young". I think she thinks I'm going to drop out of Uni and elope or something.

She also thinks it's wrong because he's an 18 year old boy, and all 18 year old boys should fuck whomever they want until they're ready to get married while I wait virginally until this day (you can imagine the fights we've had about this).

I think a marginal problem is also the fact that he's Leb. He's Maronite so in her head we can come to some agreement about marriage and christenings, but she holds the hope that one day I will find a "nice Greek boy".

So basically, she's a nut job. My dad could care less as long as he doesn't see us making out somewhere.

I hate it because while my friends and hanging with their bfs at home or whatever (which is among other things soooo much cheaper), I have to so 100x more organisation to see him. I know in a couple of more years if we're still together she'll come around, but until then it's just constant fighting.

We've been together for 15 months, so hopefully they'll see the light sometime in the near future (although I wouldn't bet on it).

greek parents as well eh?
if i brought hope a leb girl, oh forget it id get shot maronite or not. i got a thing with aussies and my parents hate me for that

 

[AlleyCat]

my parents were extremely oppressive and manipulating until i moved out of home and to another state, at which time they became good friends.

i worked my ass off waitressing almost every night to pay my living expenses, and just recently my dad has insisted that he pay my rent, which i'm perfectly happy with.

last weekend my boyfriend (who i met in melbourne) came to sydney with me for a holiday and we went out to dinner with my parents. we all got along perfectly, and i couldn't have been more happy.

so yes, they do approve. and they're champions.

 

[martin88]

my parents love my boyfriend. mum always cooks what HE likes for dinner when he is over, asks when she gets to see him again, dad asks me to ask him over for another beer etc etc.
they liked my last boyfriend aswell, but dad likes me new one better. if dad likes someone, he talks, ever since day one with my new boyfriend he has talked. with my ex he hardly talked.
my parents are great.

yeah they really are lol

one of my ex's dad used to have me over for some beers occasionally...... come to think of it i don't know why we broke up haha

 

[ujuphleg]

I'm in such a weird situation with my parents. Like Stef, I have Asian parents and unlike Stef, I'm not brave enough to take a stance. Admittedly, they could be a lot worse (I've seen draconian Asian parents to the EXTREME and they are not like that) They are reasonable in the sense that they've never insisted that I go out with a Chinese guy for example, and they'd never try and set me up with people.

On the other hand, my mother in particular is quite a traditionalist (actually, very traditionalist - she has possibly the most conservative education I can think of Chinese Catholic?!) and belives in no sex before marriage etc. She doesn't think I should be in such a committment at such a young age (19) but that doesn't mean she wants me to sleep around either - she just wants me to be young, and I suppose in that sense, she just has my best interests at heart.

Dad underwent tertiary education in New Zealand so he's a little better than Mum - he's less likely to chuck a skitz if I was to move out and live with my boyfriend before we were married etc. (thats not to say he'd be thrilled though) I get the impression that he isn't overly keen on my current boyfriend, but he says that he thinks he's great and that any vibes I'm getting from him is just Dad being Dad - concerned about his little girl.

They both say they like him, but I always get the feeling they don't - so I suppose the problem is with me rather than them. So in a nutshell, I suppose they approve - but they would prefer that I wasn't in a relationship until I was about 25 or so.

I'll vote yes.

 

[pinkblinkbarbie]

yeah they really are lol

one of my ex's dad used to have me over for some beers occasionally...... come to think of it i don't know why we broke up haha

you dont seriously not know why you broke up do you...?
you can have beer with my dad if you want.

I get the impression that he isn't overly keen on my current boyfriend, but he says that he thinks he's great and that any vibes I'm getting from him is just Dad being Dad - concerned about his little girl.

They both say they like him, but I always get the feeling they don't - so I suppose the problem is with me rather than them. So in a nutshell, I suppose they approve - but they would prefer that I wasn't in a relationship until I was about 25 or so.

I'll vote yes.

im glad you came to that conclusion
i felt the same with my ex, they said they liked him, but i just got bad vibes from mum and dad about him, about stuff we would do, that he would do etc.
at least now they know they can trust my boyfriend cause he is my best friends cousin and they love my best friend, and anyone related to her must be great hehe.

 

[martin88]

great...... sounds goood to me

 

[Project]

It seems it has a lot to do with culture? I seem to think some parents disapprove based on the boy/girl being a different race? Greeks going out with Lebanese, Indians going out with caucasians and the like. While Asian families seem a lot tighter about relationships in general

 

[withoutaface]

Just out of curiosity, do any of you actively tell your parents about your partner, does it just come up in conversation, or do they only find out when they walk in on you?

 

[Minai]

UIC - In my personal opinion (and I'm sorry if this causes offence), what your parents have done is simply inexplicable...how they could just choose their selfishness over the love of their daughter like that...

My girlfriend's parents are Chinese, and like ujuphleg, they initially disapproved of me (and boys in general). Its taken 2 years, but now they realise they cannot change their daughter's views, and can't really tell her who and when to date etc, and so they wanted to meet me etc etc, and now they pretty much like me - ie. always invite me to dinner for 'steamboat', talk comfortably around me, even let us go on a holiday together (which is pretty big considering the whole strict Asian no threat of sex policy). Her mum wants me to learn Cantonese though for the "extended family's sake" I guess..

My major concerns with Asian parents in general are that they are the ones that came to Australia, and the lifestyle is different here. Their children are brought up and raised in Aussie "culture", so how can they justify imposing their desires for their children? They should have just stayed in their country if they wanted their children to grow up exactly how they did.

 

[what971]

lol I don't know what to choose.

I didn't tell them about my first b/f.

I didn't tell them about my second b/f.

I haven't told them about my third b/f. (but then again, only two dates, so I'm not sure if he's my b/f yet, still figuring this one out.)

My mom wants me to marry her best friend's son (like when I'm 30)??, he's alright looking - but not my type.

 

[kami]

My family approves of me dating/having sex and overly so - my mother even tries to pick up random girls and set them up with me. She's also been indoctrinating me with the importance to have children on the double - if possible before I finish uni. I also have my suspicions that my uncle is going to attempt to buy me sex from a prostitute as a birthday present. *shudders*

However none of the people I'd 'bring home' would get a positive reaction in any form. I'm not sure if they'd go so far as uic's family, but thats just it I'm not sure.:/

 

[Project]

Her mum wants me to learn Cantonese though for the "extended family's sake" I guess..

That's a good one. I suppose it shows they're serious about you. Some Asian parents wouldn't even mention their children's bf/gf to extended family (on the other hand, entire families might know about you before you've even met them ) . Good luck with learning Cantonese though Its supposed to be a lot harder than Mandarin.

My major concerns with Asian parents in general are that they are the ones that came to Australia, and the lifestyle is different here. Their children are brought up and raised in Aussie "culture", so how can they justify imposing their desires for their children? They should have just stayed in their country if they wanted their children to grow up exactly how they did.

Agreed. Its annoying how many hang out with Asian friends, eat Asian food and speak Asian languages all the time. For other cultures as well, I think its stereotyping like this that makes some parents nervous.

 

[grk_styl]

I'd like to hope the race issue does die down after awhile. Minai, I guess you're lucky that it has. While my parents aren't concerned about race right now (considering my partner is Greek) i hope they eventually get the fuck over the age difference lol

My brother brought his girlfriend home in the like the first week they started dating, and I vowed that I couldn't do that. Plus the first guy I bring home my father thinks I'm going to marry, because "dating" in his vocab means "whoring myself out". So I don't bring boyfriends home and the only one that I will bring home will be the one I marry (looooooong way down the track)

Just out of curiosity, do any of you actively tell your parents about your partner, does it just come up in conversation, or do they only find out when they walk in on you?

I told my mum on mother's day, "Hey mum, happy mother's day! Guess what? I;m going out with ..." But from then on I never talk about him except to say that we're going out for dinner/movies/etc this weekend.

 

[bernz]

(on the other hand, entire families might know about you before you've even met them )

OMG all of my mother's friends and stuff and my aunties ask after my boyfriend... It feels like when I told her I had a bf, the news was globally broadcasted... It's weird...

Anyway, original topic. My parents like my bf, but they don't really mind who I go out with as long as we're happy together. Plus, they know me and they know that I wouldn't go out with someone who doesn't treat me right or is a stupid jerk etc (although this has been proven wrong in the past...). Anyway, my mother knows this guy who is a family friend of my boyfriend's family and I guess that sort of makes it better too... I have a progressive Asian mother, meaning she's very open-minded and stuff, so I consider myself very lucky in that respect, however my boyfriend rarely visits my house (I think this uni holiday he'll be coming over once... and that'll be the second time since we started going out March 2005...). Usually I spend time at his house or we go out. I guess with respect to my current relationship, I'll vote yes.

 

[Project]

They let him stay overnight, cook dinner for him, my dad has a beer/watches sports with him... I'm allowed to stay overnight at his place whenever I want...

Heh one of my mates gets the complete opposite... his gf's parents are Nazi. They can't be in a room alone together for longer than 20 minutes (even at her house WITH her parents there) and her mum tagged along once when they went to the movies :rofl:

 

[rach-xo]

i haven't told my parents about any boys but i have never had a serious relationship before - i could NEVER tell them it would be the ULTIMATE embarrasment! i can just imagine it...eeeek! *cringe* i could never take a bf home i would die. this can't be healthy...anyone else have parents who you'd be too embarrased to tell about a relationship? who'd make jokes about it?

 

[kimi]

My parents are fine with my decisions, but they always bombard me with so many questions that it just becomes unbearable. So i just dont bother tellling them unless i know that its become a rather serious relationship. Theyre fine with the boyfriend thing, theyre just concerned about me having sex because they beleive it should be sex after marriage. Its preety stupid, sif i wouldnt have sex with my boyfriend. AND as if im waiting till im 25 & married. They just trust me too much

 

[Kabeio]

My family approves of me dating/having sex and overly so - my mother even tries to pick up random girls and set them up with me. She's also been indoctrinating me with the importance to have children on the double - if possible before I finish uni. I also have my suspicions that my uncle is going to attempt to buy me sex from a prostitute as a birthday present. *shudders*

Interesting parents.

 

[rach-xo]

i agree - i have parents with completely different views - my mum told my in yr 9 she didn't want me kissing boys which was embarrassing because all my friends had had ehaps of boyfriends before and i felt like i have been infantilised - maybe it's part of oldest-child syndrome, maybe it's not uncommon