im not sure what I'm doing is right! (1 Viewer)

[buckley]

hi, i'm kinda new to this so bare with me.

there are three parts to my short story, all three include the same occurance (a king dies) but are seen from the point of view of three different characters, one is the kings concubine, one his second son and the last his head gaurd.

each part starts with all three entering the room as the king takes his last breath and dies (the king has been assassinated) each think that one of the other two is the assassin, they ask each other witty questions which are answered with just as witty lies.

its a weird medieval crime fiction story.

if anyone can point out anything wrong with it please do, im not sure if what im doing is right.

thanx

 

[Abbeygale]

Well, I can't point out any problems based on such a brief synopsis.

Have you seen the Japanese film Rashomon? http://imdb.com/title/tt0042876/
In short, its a film about a crime, with four slightly differing versions of the event being told by four people, who all have motives to lie.

 

[glitterfairy]

In terms of story, there's little wrong as there's little written story as yet. I'd be happy to look over it when you've got a bit more.

 

[buckley]

thanx, would another good movie to look at be 'the usual suspects'?

 

[tez0r]

try looking at Hero, the chinese movie which was recently adapted. It presents the same 3 perspectives you just said, and each perspective uses a different colour scheme. It was actually rather good, and the story followed rather nicely.

 

[Alimoe_KG]

why does the concubine want to kill the king? He was taking but not giving back? =)

 

[glitterfairy]

Or if she was head concubine, with a son that was eligible for the throne?

That happened to one of the Egyptian Pharoahs.

 

[Abbeygale]

There are a couple of great movies out there that follow a similar premise, and a few episodes of television shows (Farscape is the only one I can think of off the top of my head, though). I suggested Rashomon because AFAIK it's the first to use this, or at least the most famous example.

 

[buckley]

i saw hero in the movies, great movie, very beautiful, also seen house of flying daggers as weel, that was made by the same guy. the thing about hero is the same problem as the movie 'the usual suspects'. its one man talking to another man about how he saw it happen, or how he is making it out ot have happened.

in my storyline, they are all in the room at the same time and we are seeing their three different views at the same time.

by the way, the concubine is pregnant with the kings child, the queen who wishes the next in line to be of her blood, yet who has not given birth to a child yet, is trying to get the king to execute the concubine. the king has done this many times before with previous concubines and is brutal towards them. the reason why he is murdered is because he is a ruthless tyrant who has been massacaring his people who have turned rebellious.

 

[nowitski]

hi, i'm kinda new to this so bare with me.

there are three parts to my short story, all three include the same occurance (a king dies) but are seen from the point of view of three different characters, one is the kings concubine, one his second son and the last his head gaurd.

each part starts with all three entering the room as the king takes his last breath and dies (the king has been assassinated) each think that one of the other two is the assassin, they ask each other witty questions which are answered with just as witty lies.

its a weird medieval crime fiction story.

if anyone can point out anything wrong with it please do, im not sure if what im doing is right.

thanx

hi it's nowitski im talking two buckley that idea of your's is brilliant i must say, but theres something that troubled me how would the king die and would all the characters have a motive or what, but the idea is pretty cool and keep it up i'm sure your work will be completed and don't worry i'm new to?

 

[get_born]

nowitski, by any chance do you play basketball?

 

[physician]

nowitski, by any chance do you play basketball?

basketball?.. lol completely off topic.... (cough* spam cough* cough* spam)


buckley: i especially like the following:

they ask each other witty questions which are answered with just as witty lies.

that will be interesting... and if ur studying RAGAD and Hamlet for english advanced that would be an excellent link...

there's nothing wrong with ur (mini) plot outline... infact i think its extraordinary and unique... I havn't come across anyone who's doing (or has done) something even similar to what u r... but then again not all 2000+ E.E.2 students are BOS members....

 

[Alimoe_KG]

nowitski, by any chance do you play basketball?

I do! i do! Someone should do a major work on the social impact of Michael Jordan. Seriously. =)

 

[physician]

I do! i do! Someone should do a major work on the social impact of Michael Jordan. Seriously. =)

nowitski's major work is on B BALL, close enough....

 

[get_born]

I do! i do! Someone should do a major work on the social impact of Michael Jordan. Seriously. =)

I agree with you, but nowitski is doing his major work on B-ball as physician said. This guy in our school without mentioning any names *cough cough* is so cool, probably rip anyone at basketball anyday. His like our very own Jordan!!

 

[Alimoe_KG]

I agree with you, but nowitski is doing his major work on B-ball as physician said. This guy in our school without mentioning any names *cough cough* is so cool, probably rip anyone at basketball anyday. His like our very own Jordan!!

Yeah? I want to take him on now. Surely he's overrated What school are we talking about here?

 

[get_born]

N.A.H.I.C its in Stathfield right near Burwood

 

[Alimoe_KG]

N.A.H.I.C its in Stathfield right near Burwood

...=/
Does he ever come to Burwood PCYC? Because, if he does, chances are, i've already played him and kicked his ass =) hehe j.k. well...not really
What's his name?

 

[get_born]

I dont know if he would want me to mention his name, but I can tell you this his played state or something like that...but ill check, but im sure he has.

 

[Alimoe_KG]

I dont know if he would want me to mention his name, but I can tell you this his played state or something like that...but ill check, but im sure he has.

heh heh...state ay...i'm impressed =) But i still want to take him ^^ Is he black? Or asian?