_muse_
Come on join the joyride
oh man.. this thread is gold... fuck its hilarious 
Rules for Customers (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter townie
- Start date
Trogie
Member
You can't really compare the two, since when was hoyts/greater union a restaurant? And maybe I would buy your stuff if it wasn't so overpriced, why pay $4 for a bottle of water when I can get the same thing for 80c at coleskatietheskatie said:
Atticus.
how do i get out of this
these actually happened...
1* if you do spit on me while you are making your order, i will reel in disgust so dont be offended you twat, your the one who spat on me
2* if you are drunk and you order food yes you do actually have to pay for it
3* if you are unemployed, on the dole, smell like the inside of a camels rectum, spend all your money on smack and metho, then no you will not be receiving a free meal. i do not care if your heroin addicted prostitue girlfriend is pregnant, you should have withdrawn before you blew. its not my fault that she will soon be having your bastard child. your only going to sell it to by more smack and metho anyway you vagrant...
4* if you are unimpressed by your food and the small quantites of it DO NOT throw it at me or yes you will find yourself with a broken nose and a hungry stomach...
5* no the fish colloqiually called "dolphin fish" is not dolphin! DO NOT TELL ME THAT WE SHOULD CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL GET CONFUSED. hey dickhead, you are the only person ever to actually think that it was dolphin. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SHOP
6* if you liken me to the soup nazi from seinfield i will not find it amusing.
7* do NOT tell me that we cook grilled fish and you got it here yesterday. do not claim that you know it was grilled because it had the grill lines on the fish. what did we cook it on you dopy bitch? the bun toaster? plus i was working here yesterday and YOU didnt come in. stop trying to scam me.
8* do not tell me that you have been coming here for 25 years and the fish has never been that small. the place has only been open 10 you lying old dick. go take a nap
9* do not presume that i speek cantonese, japanese, hungarian, french, german, lithuanian, mongolian, flemmish, russian or innuet. im not C3P0 from starwars. Piss off
10* do not come in thinking you are all clever, hand me a ten wait for me to give you your change and then claim you gave me a 50. there are no fiftys in the till. fuck off before i throw a newly cooked chiko roll at you head
11* dont think i cant see you when you try to steal icecreams. and dont think ill let you get away with it.
12* if your moderatly famous, your name is vannessa amorossi and your a pompous bitch, you will not receive service before people who have been here waiting longer. in fact i dont even want to serve you, your music pisses me off. i hate you no chips for you
13* if your name is daniel bell the australian idol reject and you come into the shop with chanel cole, also an idol reject you have to laugh at my jokes when i say chanel is better than you and that she wil have a career and you wont. you also have to take it in your stride when i flirt with chanel for fun. no you cant give me dirty looks, what are you going to do? write a song about me? no one will listen to it anyway you failure of a human being
1* if you do spit on me while you are making your order, i will reel in disgust so dont be offended you twat, your the one who spat on me
2* if you are drunk and you order food yes you do actually have to pay for it
3* if you are unemployed, on the dole, smell like the inside of a camels rectum, spend all your money on smack and metho, then no you will not be receiving a free meal. i do not care if your heroin addicted prostitue girlfriend is pregnant, you should have withdrawn before you blew. its not my fault that she will soon be having your bastard child. your only going to sell it to by more smack and metho anyway you vagrant...
4* if you are unimpressed by your food and the small quantites of it DO NOT throw it at me or yes you will find yourself with a broken nose and a hungry stomach...
5* no the fish colloqiually called "dolphin fish" is not dolphin! DO NOT TELL ME THAT WE SHOULD CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL GET CONFUSED. hey dickhead, you are the only person ever to actually think that it was dolphin. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SHOP
6* if you liken me to the soup nazi from seinfield i will not find it amusing.
7* do NOT tell me that we cook grilled fish and you got it here yesterday. do not claim that you know it was grilled because it had the grill lines on the fish. what did we cook it on you dopy bitch? the bun toaster? plus i was working here yesterday and YOU didnt come in. stop trying to scam me.
8* do not tell me that you have been coming here for 25 years and the fish has never been that small. the place has only been open 10 you lying old dick. go take a nap
9* do not presume that i speek cantonese, japanese, hungarian, french, german, lithuanian, mongolian, flemmish, russian or innuet. im not C3P0 from starwars. Piss off
10* do not come in thinking you are all clever, hand me a ten wait for me to give you your change and then claim you gave me a 50. there are no fiftys in the till. fuck off before i throw a newly cooked chiko roll at you head
11* dont think i cant see you when you try to steal icecreams. and dont think ill let you get away with it.
12* if your moderatly famous, your name is vannessa amorossi and your a pompous bitch, you will not receive service before people who have been here waiting longer. in fact i dont even want to serve you, your music pisses me off. i hate you no chips for you
13* if your name is daniel bell the australian idol reject and you come into the shop with chanel cole, also an idol reject you have to laugh at my jokes when i say chanel is better than you and that she wil have a career and you wont. you also have to take it in your stride when i flirt with chanel for fun. no you cant give me dirty looks, what are you going to do? write a song about me? no one will listen to it anyway you failure of a human being
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katietheskatie
lol
well where i work, it's not even that overpriced. $4 for water? wow, it's like $2 here. its nothing compared to the city cinemas. and you know, cinemas have to make money somehow, because film companies take like 55% of the price of every ticket which leaves shit all to pay for everything else.Trogie said:
Arvin Sloane
We are not amused.
Communists! All of you.
soha
a splendid one to behold
when i greet a customer i say hi..and thats all
and some cutomers dont even listen to me they just automatically say good thanks
pisses me off...
so dont just assume im going to ask you how you are coz im not coz i dont care..
i just say hi..
and some cutomers dont even listen to me they just automatically say good thanks
pisses me off...
so dont just assume im going to ask you how you are coz im not coz i dont care..
i just say hi..
_Bushra_
wtf?!
- Joined
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- 793
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- 2005
Argonaut said:
Lol! I'm loving it!
_Bushra_
wtf?!
- Joined
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- 793
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- Female
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- 2005
Muse, Im loving this thread too! Yay for Townie!
^CoSMic DoRiS^^
makes the woosh noises
oh this thread is tickling my laugh muscles... hahaha.
sorry if this has been said a lot before, but i just have to mention it... and this goes for every single customer who ever existed, exists or ever will exist in this world, solar system, hell, even the universe:
*** You do not, ever, ever, EVER call me anything but what is explicitly printed on my nametag. get it? it says Rebecca, therefore, you call me Rebecca!Not Becky, not Bec, not babe, not sweetpea, darling, honey, luv, lovely, or any variations of these. Do so and i swear you will never speak again, on account of how i will rip your vocal cords from your pudgy litte neck and eat them in front of you. Ok? Have a nice day...babe.
sorry if this has been said a lot before, but i just have to mention it... and this goes for every single customer who ever existed, exists or ever will exist in this world, solar system, hell, even the universe:
*** You do not, ever, ever, EVER call me anything but what is explicitly printed on my nametag. get it? it says Rebecca, therefore, you call me Rebecca!Not Becky, not Bec, not babe, not sweetpea, darling, honey, luv, lovely, or any variations of these. Do so and i swear you will never speak again, on account of how i will rip your vocal cords from your pudgy litte neck and eat them in front of you. Ok? Have a nice day...babe.
Trogie
Member
lolol I hate talking to the cashier (no offence anyone), I reckon it should just be done in mutual silence, each respectful of the others right not to be forced into meaningless conversation.soha said:
\'OrribleCabbage
Mmmm.... Cabbagy...
- Do not assume that you may treat me like a long lost friend simply because you can read my name on my shirt. You don't know me.
- If I say I don't know the answer to your question, do not roll your eyes and tell me that I am stupid. I work on the registers, and consequently do not know what is going on in every other department of the store at any given moment.
- If the bright red light above the aisle says "Cash Only", guess what? It means CASH ONLY! Not "can I use my credit card?" or "but I thought that only applied to cheques."
- If the bright red light above the aisle says "5 items or less", do not come through with two trolleys full. Both me and the customers behind you will make you feel very unwelcome.
- If you don't want a bag, tell me before I start loading your items into plastic bags. If I hand you a bag and you haven't told me you don't want it, shut up and take it anyway.
- If the final price on the transaction is twenty cents more than you expected, shut up and pay it. It's only twenty cents you cheap whinger.
- If the final price on the transaction is twenty cents less than you expected, shut up and consider yourself lucky. It's more trouble than it's worth to redo the whole purchase just so your conscience feels a little better.
- No, we do not stock easter eggs in the middle of october.
- If I say I don't know the answer to your question, do not roll your eyes and tell me that I am stupid. I work on the registers, and consequently do not know what is going on in every other department of the store at any given moment.
- If the bright red light above the aisle says "Cash Only", guess what? It means CASH ONLY! Not "can I use my credit card?" or "but I thought that only applied to cheques."
- If the bright red light above the aisle says "5 items or less", do not come through with two trolleys full. Both me and the customers behind you will make you feel very unwelcome.
- If you don't want a bag, tell me before I start loading your items into plastic bags. If I hand you a bag and you haven't told me you don't want it, shut up and take it anyway.
- If the final price on the transaction is twenty cents more than you expected, shut up and pay it. It's only twenty cents you cheap whinger.
- If the final price on the transaction is twenty cents less than you expected, shut up and consider yourself lucky. It's more trouble than it's worth to redo the whole purchase just so your conscience feels a little better.
- No, we do not stock easter eggs in the middle of october.
townie
Premium Member
i hate being called Alex by people i've never met! when ur a regular, u can me alex, not wen u come in and buy one bottle of wine. one customer really scared me he goes "hi alex! so how did you go in ur HSC? What was your UAI?" and i'm like WTF U DONT EVEN KNOW ME, it turns out he did it to all the checkout people.
--DONT try using ur COLES discount card in my WOOLWORTHS STORE!!! grrrrr
--Just because u say u saw some special in the paper, doesnt mean we're running it, i'm not gonna give u something at a special price just because u claim to have seen it in the paper, and cant prove it, and when u can, 80% of the time the special is one for Liquorland NOT woolworths liquor
--DONT try using ur COLES discount card in my WOOLWORTHS STORE!!! grrrrr
--Just because u say u saw some special in the paper, doesnt mean we're running it, i'm not gonna give u something at a special price just because u claim to have seen it in the paper, and cant prove it, and when u can, 80% of the time the special is one for Liquorland NOT woolworths liquor
iamsickofyear12
Active Member
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2004
- Messages
- 3,960
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2004
I agree. (10 characters)Trogie said:
klh
Active Member
do you cashiers/checkout poeple get angry or dont care when when you say hi and the customer dont reply? I just think th esame, i wanna get out as fast as possible to let other custemrs be served.
Katie123
Clinical is OVER
dear customer
1) please do not expect me to be happy when i have nothing to do and you feel that you will 'make the time go faster'
2) Do not be bi polar by being super friendly at the beginning and then a devils advocate when u are over charged by 1 c
3) Do not expect me to know every code of every fruit and vegetable that is on my roll. While I am looking at said roll for the CODE do not tell me the price of the item. It doesnt help and i get annoyed
4) Do not think that you are going to get a supervisor any faster than an EMPLOYEE by ringing the bell on the other register.
5) Dont get annoyed when things dont work like gift vouchers ...they have a limit. If you pay with GV pay in big denominations not $5 cos there is a limit and not even the store manager can fix it...so dont complain
6) Dont tell me that otehr staff members in other departments are rude..... thats what the managers are for. These rude people are idiots and i know that but what exactly do you want me to do about it on the checkouts?!?
7)If i dont know something...its not cos i'm stupid...its cos they have changed something and failed to notify anyone.
8) If you decide to skull some coke from a 2 L bottle of coke make sure that you put the cap on or WARN us before giving it to us. Bottles do get dropped occassionally and shaken up bottles can have a distance of at least 6 registers. Sticky clothes, hair, skin and mats and registers and general electrical equipment doesnt appreciate getting sprayed cos you were thirsty.
9) Dont get fussy over anything less than 10 cents difference....its just not worth it
10) Yo dude....yes u get ur condoms for free but y would u bother when the diff of price was 50 cents...ur chick is going to feel very cheap if she finds out.
11) how bout u stay away from the shiops on public holidays...alot easier on everyone and i promise you will nOT starve over the 1 day of closure.
1) please do not expect me to be happy when i have nothing to do and you feel that you will 'make the time go faster'
2) Do not be bi polar by being super friendly at the beginning and then a devils advocate when u are over charged by 1 c
3) Do not expect me to know every code of every fruit and vegetable that is on my roll. While I am looking at said roll for the CODE do not tell me the price of the item. It doesnt help and i get annoyed
4) Do not think that you are going to get a supervisor any faster than an EMPLOYEE by ringing the bell on the other register.
5) Dont get annoyed when things dont work like gift vouchers ...they have a limit. If you pay with GV pay in big denominations not $5 cos there is a limit and not even the store manager can fix it...so dont complain
6) Dont tell me that otehr staff members in other departments are rude..... thats what the managers are for. These rude people are idiots and i know that but what exactly do you want me to do about it on the checkouts?!?
7)If i dont know something...its not cos i'm stupid...its cos they have changed something and failed to notify anyone.
8) If you decide to skull some coke from a 2 L bottle of coke make sure that you put the cap on or WARN us before giving it to us. Bottles do get dropped occassionally and shaken up bottles can have a distance of at least 6 registers. Sticky clothes, hair, skin and mats and registers and general electrical equipment doesnt appreciate getting sprayed cos you were thirsty.
9) Dont get fussy over anything less than 10 cents difference....its just not worth it
10) Yo dude....yes u get ur condoms for free but y would u bother when the diff of price was 50 cents...ur chick is going to feel very cheap if she finds out.
11) how bout u stay away from the shiops on public holidays...alot easier on everyone and i promise you will nOT starve over the 1 day of closure.
*~Dazed~*
fuck a duck
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2003
- Messages
- 1,177
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- 2003
- dont wave your arms at me for service, politely get my eye contact, say something to me as i walk past or just raise your hand once, otherwise your service will be worse than it currently is. I'm your waitress not your fucken servant.
- dont call me over to order when you arent ready and waste my time because there are other customers who actually need service
- dont ask if we give free refils of soft drink, its a restaurant! what the fuck do you think?
- dont ask for chips with your meal, if its not on the menu then we dont have it.
- dont eat your entire meal and then when i come to clear your table and ask you how everything was (or when you come up to pay) complain and expect me to do something about it then. If it was that bad dont fucken eat it and we will deal with it then.
- dont order a soy latte and get the shits at me when i tell you we dont have soy milk. It isnt my fault, and we arent a cafe anyway.
- dont order portiteroles, why? because they take too much time and effort to prepare and i cant be fucked
- dont call me over to order when you arent ready and waste my time because there are other customers who actually need service
- dont ask if we give free refils of soft drink, its a restaurant! what the fuck do you think?
- dont ask for chips with your meal, if its not on the menu then we dont have it.
- dont eat your entire meal and then when i come to clear your table and ask you how everything was (or when you come up to pay) complain and expect me to do something about it then. If it was that bad dont fucken eat it and we will deal with it then.
- dont order a soy latte and get the shits at me when i tell you we dont have soy milk. It isnt my fault, and we arent a cafe anyway.
- dont order portiteroles, why? because they take too much time and effort to prepare and i cant be fucked
hipsta_jess
Up the mighty red V
- Joined
- May 30, 2003
- Messages
- 5,981
- Gender
- Female
- HSC
- N/A
RULE FOR STAFF:
When you ask me how I am, at least put some feeling into it, instead of talking in that dead-pan monotone with minimal/no eye contact.
If you can't do this, don't speak to me at all and hope to God I'm not a mystery shopper.
When you ask me how I am, at least put some feeling into it, instead of talking in that dead-pan monotone with minimal/no eye contact.
If you can't do this, don't speak to me at all and hope to God I'm not a mystery shopper.
Trogie
Member
lol, but Chilis do it , and you dont want your competition to have an advantage now do you?*~Dazed~* said:
townie
Premium Member
-dont repeatidly steal from my store, then ask if u can have a job
-just because i checked ur ID once, or seved u once without checking, doesnt mean i'm not going 2 check u again.
-i dont have some magical power to serve u when ur under 18, 'NO PROOF, NO PURCHASE' means just that, i aint risking a $5,500 fine for u
-just because i checked ur ID once, or seved u once without checking, doesnt mean i'm not going 2 check u again.
-i dont have some magical power to serve u when ur under 18, 'NO PROOF, NO PURCHASE' means just that, i aint risking a $5,500 fine for u