haha...it's funny reading through these posts... except i cbb reading though everything
sorry if this has been repeated
restaurant
1. yes, that annoying whirring noise is because you are standing with the door opened. if you just popped in to get a menu, that's cool. if you're standing there, but also inquiring about something, kindly close the door so i can hear you, and so i do not give you the wrong information
2. quit stealing our yr/s old mags. we're a small restaurant. we can't afford to buy new mags everytime you steal some, and frankly, i don't think you deserve the priviledge of new mags [note: thanks to those who have donated their old mags because ppl keep stealing ours]
3. don't shove a thick folded mag into the back pocket of your pants, fully in view [not even bothering to cover it with your shirt], and expect me to be blind. even though i won't say anything [i'd rather lose a mag than make you not want to come again], i'll remember you always. be careful next time you order a meal
4. don't swear in my restaurant. especially if there are other ppl dining there, and especially if there are children
5. do not touch the plants we have around the restaurant. they may be pretty, but you're grimy fingers may just poison [or rip off] their leaves
6. stop stealing our salt shakers/etc ! wtf is wrong with you??
7. [although no one has asked, i've thought of answers in case someone wants to be bitchy.]
a) those things you see inside the salt shakers are not bugs, they are in fact raw rice having being fried. this allows any mositure inside the salt shaker to be absorbed, to prevent clumping of the salt, and it will not kill you, or cause you to be violently ill
b) the droplets on the lid of the salt shaker is just water. there is moisture in the air, usually during rainy days. since salt is highly reactive with water, the salt reacts with the moisture in the air and forms water droplets on the lid. yes, sometimes the above a) is insufficient in preventing this due to larger amounts of moisture
8. if you get sauce on the table, please wipe it with the napkins we provide you with. the sauce tends to dry and cake on the table, making it much harder for us to clean, especially if the air conditioner is on
9. eat properly - how can you get so much food on the floor?? vacuuming the whole floor of a restaurant is tiring, and you're not making it any easier, jackass
10. do not stare (unsmiling) while i bring out your food, it's rude. especially if i went straight to work after being out with friends, and haven't had a chance to change, so am still wearing that mini and tank at night.
11. it's nice to say 'thank you' when i give you stuff, though, only optional
12. stop pestering me for your bill - i'm taking orders from ppl who are standing and waiting, from ppl who call up and will not let the phone ring forever, checking other's orders to make sure their order is correct. i'll give you your bill when i'm done putting your food into a doggy bag, and checking your total to ensure you will not get ripped off.
13. if ordering over the phone, speak clearly and do not use a mobile. mobiles tend to drop off a bit, causing me to miss a meal or two, or mishear your order for a similarly named one, or mishear the quantity you wanted. so sorry if you are short a meal, or get a different meal, and consequently, your total is higher/lower than you expected
14. please, while ordering through the phone, do not ask me to add up your total, unless you are patient. sometimes, it can take a while. maybe to you it's easy to remember the prices of all 200-something items. we give out menus with prices on them for a reason
15. if you want many containers of sauces, and you do not order any meal/entree needing this sauce, do not find it odd we charge you 50c. even the plastic containers cost more than that
16. fine, buy a bottle of coke from the deli across the road if its 20c cheaper. use our glasses and make us wash them. take our straws. but do not expect me to give you ice if i'm pissed off.
17. fine, don't leave a tip if you make me walk back and forth to follow you stupid commands: i want chilli/soya sauce, i want fresh chopped chilli. can i have some more spoons [even though i've given you a set, and place one on every meal i bring out]. can i have a coke? no, make that d coke [when i bring it out]. the damned fridge it near the back of the restaurant. etc etc
18. stop pestering me about your meals. so sorry you caught us in our busy rush. so sorry we are only equipped with 2 chefs who do not have 300 arms. so sorry your meal is particularly harder to make even though we don't charge you that bit extra. so sorry the oil is still heating up before we can fry your fatty food because we only just opened and haven't turned our fryer on yet, or leave it on while no one is there so it can catch on fire and burn the place down
19. yeah, break and chip our plates/etc and then complain that it's chipped
20. no, that hair in your soup does not belong to us - none of us have curly hair. but we will take it back and cook you another, or remove the charge, jsut because we're nice
21. don't you dare smoke in my restaurant. apart from the smell being crap, and us all have to endure those toxic fumes which cause the cilias in our throats from working for 8 hrs, so we are more susceptible to pathogens and the sort, the owner will get fined $4000 - $5000 for your ignorance of our signs and health
i could go on and on...but i think i'll stop my ramblings there