Sex Before Marriage (2 Viewers)

[ur_inner_child]

Im not one to participate in such threads, but oh well, I have an opinion.

Voted NO.

If your gonna fuck, might as well do it after marriage, and with a person who hasnt fucked in their life before. The way I see it, I'd rather fuck a clean, unused genital, than one that has been used serveral times.

god you speak repulsively

 

[SweetSeasons]

I enjoy sex... I think sex is an important part of a relationship. It shows trust for your partner, it's intimacy on a whole other level, it's romantic, it's fun. I like sex, and I would of like to have only been with the one guy for ever but now that's not possible, so I'm kind of looking forward to experiancing that kind of intimacy with another person who I love.

I think if you love the person at that time and that place that there is nothing wrong with pre-marital sex.

 

[grk_styl]

If your gonna fuck, might as well do it after marriage, and with a person who hasnt fucked in their life before. The way I see it, I'd rather fuck a clean, unused genital, than one that has been used serveral times.

my question is...wat happens if ur wife isn't a virgin? would u not marry her just coz she had sex before? interesting opinion though.

i voted yes to sex before marriage. i won't get married til i'm at least 26...there's no way i'm abstaining for the next 7 years. i'd go nuts!

 

[SweetSeasons]

you know I could really go some sex right now

 

[William_Lawry]

I've heard a heap of people say that they wish that they had of waited until marriage. Not here on the forums, but people who are married and have the ability to look back on their past as teens (eg. not oursleves).

bible bashers

 

[- Messiah -]

my question is...wat happens if ur wife isn't a virgin? would u not marry her just coz she had sex before?

If she aint a virgin, then ill make sure our relationship doesnt progress any further. I just believe sex should only be shared with ONLY ONE other person in your life.

 

[BradCube]

my question is...wat happens if ur wife isn't a virgin? would u not marry her just coz she had sex before? interesting opinion though.

This may take a while to explain so bare with me.

For a start, I would question the chances of a situation occuring where your wife/husband wasn't a virgin. Only because if you are that different in morals I wonder how many people would fall in love, to the point that marriage is a possiblilty.

However, I know it does occur, and for those people I don't think it would stop a marriage from happening, but rather would put a strain on the marriage once married. I would be constantly worried as to whether I was being compared, and whether the other person only thinks of me ect.

I think it would create a lack of trust at first in that one person was able to hold out and the other wasn't (eg if they can't wait for me until marriage, then how can I trust them after marriage?). It's something that can be worked through however, and I don't think it would stop a marriage from occuring as long as both partners are willing to deal with it and work it out together.

I think the most often time that this situation occurs is when the person who isn't a virgin decides that they don't want that lifestyle anymore and decide to wait from then until marriage before they sleep with anyone else. In this case the moral values of both the virgin and the non-virgin match up and they are able to fall in love.

I really hope that is clear, I have a feeling I will be mis-understood

 

[BradCube]

I've heard a heap of people say that they wish that they had of waited until marriage. Not here on the forums, but people who are married and have the ability to look back on their past as teens (eg. not oursleves).

bible bashers

Not always

 

[SweetSeasons]

you see my opinion changed after I had sex and then again when I got dumped...

I used to be *wait till I find the right guy that I wanna be with forever* and I thought I did... n yeah I spose now it's like I found the right guy but sh*t happens and sometimes the right guy is only the right guy for a little while. I'm not about to go have sex with a random, but if I love someone I wont be saying no in the heat of the moment

 

[grk_styl]

If she aint a virgin, then ill make sure our relationship doesnt progress any further. I just believe sex should only be shared with ONLY ONE other person in your life.

so this girl could be the love of your life, but because she's had sex before, you'd give her away? wow. i hope, for your sake, the woman u love is a virgin. coz both of u will end up with terribly broken hearts.

This may take a while to explain so bare with me.

For a start, I would question the chances of a situation occuring where your wife/husband wasn't a virgin. Only because if you are that different in morals I wonder how many people would fall in love, to the point that marriage is a possiblilty.

However, I know it does occur, and for those people I don't think it would stop a marriage from happening, but rather would put a strain on the marriage once married. I would be constantly worried as to whether I was being compared, and whether the other person only thinks of me ect.

I think it would create a lack of trust at first in that one person was able to hold out and the other wasn't (eg if they can't wait for me until marriage, then how can I trust them after marriage?). It's something that can be worked through however, and I don't think it would stop a marriage from occuring as long as both partners are willing to deal with it and work it out together.

I think the most often time that this situation occurs is when the person who isn't a virgin decides that they don't want that lifestyle anymore and decide to wait from then until marriage before they sleep with anyone else. In this case the moral values of both the virgin and the promiscous one match up and they are able to fall in love.

I really hope that is clear, I have a feeling I will be mis-understood

no that makes sense. if one partner can accept the other's chastity and will hold off until they do marry, then that is fantastic. and in many circumstances, that occurs.

i don't however see that it is a lack of trust that one abstained but the other did not. a lot of things happen in life before you meet the one u marry. i don't see how u can think LESS of someone just because they've had sex. especially if u love someone. sure u might be disappointed, but ur still gonna lose ur virginity to the one u love.

that being said, i don't hold virginity is such high regard.
i respect ur decision to hold off. and i admire it, seeing as though it takes a lot of will-power, something i am more than happy to admit i don't have. lol

 

[flipsyde]

I'll be a virgin when I marry...no doubt about it
But if he isn't then I'm not going to care..

I might make him have an STI test first though... I dunno depends on how long Ive been with him and how long ago he did it and such. It may make me feel concerned that this isnt the case for him and that he isnt a virgin like me... but in the end its love that matters and if I love him then whether he's had sex before or not won't matter to me.

"I might make him have an STI test first though"- you can call me crazy if u like but if he loves me he'll do it. But if he's a virgin he wont have to and thats fine with me to

 

[sparkl3z]

i woudnt marry a guy who's had sex with another girl either.

 

[SweetSeasons]

i woudnt marry a guy who's had sex with another girl either.

what if he's had sex with another man... or a piece of fruit???

 

[BradCube]

i don't however see that it is a lack of trust that one abstained but the other did not. a lot of things happen in life before you meet the one u marry. i don't see how u can think LESS of someone just because they've had sex. especially if u love someone. sure u might be disappointed, but ur still gonna lose ur virginity to the one u love.

there is the mis-understanding, I really should have made it a little more clear

I didn't mean to say that you would think less of the person at all, I mean how could you when they may not have known any better or not held to the same moral values at that time? However, even though they may not have known any better doesn't mean that their relationship won't be affected by that previous action.

Just wanted to point out that I said "at first" in reference to the trust issue, I would still stand by that. I would not think lesser of the person for doing it because I would be able to understand where they were at. I think it would still take time for me to give them complete trust in relation to their thoughts and actions because I know they have the potenial to carry out in them. This is not to say this trust is only exclusive to the non-virgin, the virgin would also have to be trusted but I think this trust would be far easier to give since they have never shown that they are otherwise cabable.

That clear it up?

 

[BradCube]

what if he's had sex with another man... or a piece of fruit???

Surley there is a differance between a living breathing person and an inanimate object such as a piece of fruit?

 

[Josie]

I've heard a heap of people say that they wish that they had of waited until marriage. Not here on the forums, but people who are married and have the ability to look back on their past as teens (eg. not oursleves).

Why the importance? Because sex bonds two people together in a way nothing else can. Surely you wouldn't say that after your first time you didn't feel closer to the person you shared it with?

Sure, I felt closer to him, but it's an experience that's been repeated with everyone I've been with, and it's enriched the relationship. However, it's not the be all and end all of life, and I don't feel any less for sharing that experience with more than one person.

 

[BradCube]

Sure, I felt closer to him, but it's an experience that's been repeated with everyone I've been with, and it's enriched the relationship. However, it's not the be all and end all of life, and I don't feel any less for sharing that experience with more than one person.

Do you think it would feel like it made a stonger bond if it had only been with the frist person? Or has it lost it's impact and become "just sex" because it was shared with many?

 

[Serius]

You gotta' be joking right? Comparing sex to sugar? Sure both are great, but sugar does not bring two people together in anywhere near the capacity that sex does.


Also if you are going to marry someone, of course you love them. If love wasn't important then why would you even be getting married?

Yeah dude, everything i said was actually in jest. What i was trying to do was point out that just because you are saving something good, doesnt necessarily make it better later, and why stop at only saving sex?

to me, the first kiss is pretty damned important, why not make the first kiss at the altar?

and my point about love was that you are not realising that you would love your partner before marriage, so whats changed?

my personal opinion is if you are going to place your values on something[ which i dont do anyways] place it on love not marriage

why say "iam saving sex for marriage" when you can say " iam saving sex for love" because then there really is a special connection. Loving someone isnt contingent on marrying them, i am sure there will be people you will love, girlfriends and what not before you find the girl you marry, what makes them worth less? just because you didnt marry them?

iam a little more morally flexible than a lot of people here, but even as a kid i thought saving sex for marriage is illogical at best, i had some silly idea in my head about it would be better to save it for your true love. Just because love and marriage usually occur at the same time doesnt mean you should base your ideals on marriage as apposed to love

the reevrse of that would be during world war 2, me saying i support wars because they end evil and remove Hitler from power, when instead i should be saying i support the ending of evil and removing Hitler from power.

understand where iam coming from?

that said, i respect your views BradCube because they seem atleast partly thought out [ or atleast alot more thought out than all the other sex after marriage people ive talked to over the years bar 1]

 

[SweetSeasons]

I think when you finaly have sex.. you will realise it's just sex..

I think commitment and trust and companionship and monogomy are much more important factors if you are going to marry someone, then wether or not they have had sex with someone in the past. It's the being able to spend the rest of your life with that person that counts when you get married, it's not the sex... although as I have said before sex does help bond two people in a relationship together.

But what happens if you get married and 5/10 years later you realise they aren't the one for you... what happens then? are you going to stay unhapily married just because you only want sex with one person your whole life?

 

[Josie]

No. Sex is fantastic and different with every person I've done it with, something you can't possibly understand. In fact, it's been more fantastic with every person I've been with.


Edit: For BradCube's enjoyment.