The Simpsons Favourite Quote Thread (1 Viewer)

[dark_wolv]

Homers the greatest, We need more people like him
Quotes:
Homer:"Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them"

Computer:"Press the any key"
Homer: "hmmm where's the any key?"

 

[melsc]

"Simpsons...homer simpsons, he's the greatest guy in history...from the town of springfield he's about to hit a chestnet treee" AHHHH!~

 

[pLuvia]

Death: I am death
Homer: Death? We don't want any
LOL

 

[melsc]

C:/ DOS
C:/ DOS RUN
RUN DOS RUN

- or something like that

 

[SoulSearcher]

Homer: Aah, my beer!!! Oh, you never even had a chance to become my urine!

Moe: (After a lie detector test) Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight (lie buzzer) ..a date (lie buzzer) ..dinner with a friend (lie buzzer) ..dinner alone (lie buzzer) ..watching TV alone (lie buzzer) ..All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog.(Lie buzzer) Sears catalog.(ding)Now will you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!(lie buzzer)

 

[anita_wax]

i love the

"NOT LENNY!"
then marge tells the kids and l8r on shes knitting n they have a shrine lol.

i also love the deep space homer episode when they are coing back to earth and the 2 mumbling amazing grace or something and homers singing
"oh those golden grahams, oh those golden grahams. crispy crunchy brand new breakfast treat etc.."

 

[Bobness]

"will somebody think of the children?"

yes indeed

 

[pLuvia]

Homer: oh man oh man we killed Mr Burns, Mr Burns is going to be so mad

 

[fearless86]

I keep thinking of the bit where Homer says "Rats almost had him (Bart) eating dog food."

yeah the beginning goes-

Bart: its hopeless, ill never see Santa's Little Helper again.
Homer: well crying wont bring him back. unless your tears smell a lot like dog food.
so you can either sit there, eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back. OR, you can go out there and find your dog!!!'

----------------------

Ralph: is this my house?
Lisa: no ralph, you live in a different house.
Ralph: choo choo choo choo! woo woo!!

-----------------------

Lisa and grandma simpson: how many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?
Homer: 7!
Lisa: No dad, its a rhetorical question.
Homer: rhetorical eh? 8!
Lisa: Dad do you even know what rhetorical means?
Homer: Do i know what rhetorical means?!?!??

 

[shortygb]

Sunday School Teacher: Ralph, Jesus didnt have wheels

Flanders : Homer, I think you hit something.
Homer : I hope it was Flanders

Homer: No TV and no beer make Homer something, something.
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do.

Homer : Mmm, sacrilicious.

Chief Wiggum : Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the... uh... what cures cancer?

Homer : Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel

 

[Simpson Freak]

Homer: Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse
town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a
different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I'm
sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long
hero...I want to live Marge! Won't you let me live? Won't
you please?!

Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like
you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the
creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with
my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling
of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke
their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer
Simpson?"

okay these aren't funny to read, but funnier when i recite them to people from memory, damn they aint funny at all they are just laughing that i would memorise it.

 

[fearless86]

its funny cos the people that know these quotes well can read them and picture the episode in their minds.
i can imagine exactly the way that homer says 'and whats to be done of this homer simpson??!'

anyway-
when chief wiggum loses his job
Rex Banner: What are you waiting for, someone to kiss you goodbye?
Wiggum: Well?? i mean...no, no. ill just be going.

 

[Simpson Freak]

I know its perfect bliss, you enter the zone and all you know is that scene....okay and which of you s.o.b's said i had OCD?

but yes, i remember quoting this on many occasions:

This is hour 57 of our live, round-the-clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember, by the way, to tune in at 8:00 for highlights of today's vigil, including when the garbage man came and when Marge Simpson put the cat out...possibly because it was harassed, we don't know.
Of course, there's no way to see into the Simpson home without some kind of infrared heat-sensitive camera. So, let's turn it on.
Now, this technology is new to me, but...I'm pretty sure that's
Homer Simpson in the oven, rotating slowly. His body temperature has risen to over 400 degrees -- he's literally stewing in his own juices.
Now, here are some results from our phone-in poll: 95% of the people believe Homer Simpson is guilty. Of course, this is just a television poll which is not legally binding, unless proposition 304 passes. And we all pray it will.

 

[pLuvia]

Ned: Homer I was wondering if I could borrow that chainsaw you stole from me
Homer: Yeh but you have to leave a credit card
Ned: discover ok?
Homer: Ned!?!
Ned: Ok here's my Amex

 

[culvo]

Nelson: We've been doing alot of upper body work on Bart. Today, let's pound his kidneys.



Otto: Oh man, what am I on? Oh, that's right, pot.



Wiggim on the automated police telephone system: You have chosen 'no', meaning you have committed a crime, but don't want to confess. A paddy wagon is now speeding to your home. While you wait, why not buy a police cap or t-shirt? You have the right to remain fabulous!



Bart: Oh yeah well you love Moleman!
Lisa: No you do! You're gay for Moleman!
Bart: You're gay for Moleman!
Moleman: No one's gay for Moleman.



Homer: It's not all your fault. All these years I've watched you turn our son into a timebomb and yet I did nothing. So in a way, I too am a victim. Of you.

And so on and so forth, just so many I guess.

 

[pLuvia]

Marge: You made your own breakfast? looks like you had a little problem with those scramble eggs
Homer: It was a muffin

Marge: I'll fix you something
Homer: Oh I get it your stupid husband is too drunk to make his own breakfast
Marge: Well there are a lot of beer cans around here

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

ohhh i <3 the simpsons...hahaha
this is from the ep where lisa visits smithers to find out about malibu stacy.

*smithers turns on his computer and Mr Burns appears onscreen*
Burns: Hello, Smithers - you're quite good at turning me on.
Smithers: You probably should ignore that.

Homer: Nobody ruins our family vacation but me! and maybe the boy!

Lisa (after drinking the water in Duff Gardens): I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!

Marge (to Homer): You are not going to perform that operation yourself.

Lisa: It's terrible being young. No one listens to you.
Grandpa: It's rotten being old. No one listens to ya.
Homer: I'm a white male, aged 18 to 45. EVERYONE listens to me! No matter how dumb my suggestions are! *opens a can of "nuts n gum"*

Vet: this is the part of the job i hate. *throws hamster in the trash can*

Homer: Barney's film had heart...but "Football in the Groin" had a football in the groin.

haha...oh and homer's scream!!! not the "doh" but the scream he does...cracks me up every time. especially in that episode where he got hypnotised and screamed continuously, oh man that was classic!!!!!

 

[Simpson Freak]

Marge: This is all my fault, i tried to teach Bart about town pride, but the power of my words filled him with a sort of madness.

Homer: Now marge we cant blame all of bart's problems on your one little speech, if anything set him bad it was that time you made him wear a bathing suit instead of underwear, AND LETS NOT FORGET YOUR LITTLE SPEECH!!!



Homer: How was jerk practice boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees? and build crappy furniture out of useless would logs? huh? [couch breaks] STUPID POETIC JUSTICE!

Homer: Well, well, so flawless Flanders needs help from stinky pants Simpson.
Ned: Haha, yeah I guess I do.
Homer: Welly-welly-welly. Mr. Clean wants to hang with Dirty Dingus McGee
Ned: How about it Homer, will you teach me the secrets of your intoxicating lust for life?
Homer: Wellity-wellity-wellity..
Ned: Stop that! Will you help me or not?

 

[Dreamerish*~]

Homer (after pulling out a microchip from his brain): I got the chip out! And without any brain damage-amage-amage-amage-amage-AMAGE! *Spastic dance*

Also, not really a quote but ...

Grampa (about customers in Spraw-mart): Someone has to greet them! Without a greeting they're clueless!

*Three customers are near the door. One man repeatedly walks into a wall, a woman has a terrified expression on her face and is kneeling down, throwing coins before her, one by one. The third woman is standing by the door and sobbing into her hands.*

 

[pLuvia]

Cartoon guy: Bart meet the voice of angry dad
Bart: Ok let's here it
Homer guy: Well I was thinking of something like.... I'm a big fat idiot
Bart: wow, looks like we have our angry dad
Homer guy: woo hoo when do I get paid
Cartoon guy: In 2012